[Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted

Sun Mar 17 02:25:34 UTC 2013

Erica and all,
   I too can relate to this thread.  My sighted husband and I will be married a year on the 24th of this month.  He works long hours, and I am left to figure things out on my own. On weekends he is exhausted!  The NFB *can do* attitude makes things very complicated in a marriage.  I do live in an area where you can walk many places. You cannot walk everywhere though, just today my husband had to drive me early about half an hour to an NFB event. He is usually very good. He even says it is our car. I feel bad though, this is his weekend. Like I say, he works very long hours. I depend on my in-laws a great deal. I just moved to town, and really only have one friend who I can feel comfortable asking to drive me places sometimes. I probably will chime in again. I am watching this thread very closely. I appreciate any comments or advice people who have been in my situation and Ericas longer.
Jessica

Sent from my iPhone

On Mar 15, 2013, at 11:00 PM, Mari Hunziker <marihunziker at gmail.com> wrote:

> HI Ericka,
> 
> I can totally relate. I am legally blind, low to high partical depending on
> the day as well married to a sighted man. We have been married for 15 and a
> half years and it has taken us a very long time to figure it out. I'd even
> say we are still learning how to deal with it each day. I too live in a
> small town in Texas with no transportation. I must rely on neighbors,
> friends, church members or my husband. He was in school fro the last 8
> years - gone from 7am till about 11pm. I had to find the courage to ask
> someone for a ride. He just graduated in December and he is available a
> little more to help drive me around to get errands done. I've learned that
> I don't ever get to do what I want to do. Now that we have kids their needs
> come first. Grocery shopping, clothes, shoe, school supply shopping and
> then anything else that needs to get done. I have learned to plan and that
> actually took a while to develop since I am not a very organized person
> when it comes to meal planning. But my friends from church turned me onto a
> great monthly planner that does all the work for you. You just follow the
> steps and viola a sensational meal is ready in minutes.  I have attached it
> here for you and anyone on the list to take and copy. Take a look I think
> its great. It provides a great example of what to do if you want to change
> up the recipes to. Its called Month of Menus!. About the blind and sighted
> thing. There is a Department of Blind Services in your state.
> http://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/blind/ There are several links with
> information on Adjustment skills, Adaptive Equipment, Blindness Education,
> Rehabilitation Teaching Services, Resources and Information, etc. Take a
> look at the link above and call to get some assistance. It will make a huge
> difference. Also, I am happy to talk or email off list. Let me know if
> you'd like my info and if you'd like to chat off line. Good luck and God
> Bless. Life is challenging, but we are all here to help each other through
> it.
> Thanks,
> Mari Hunziker
> 
> On Fri, Mar 15, 2013 at 8:07 PM, Ericka J. Short <ericka.short at att.net>wrote:
> 
>> I know we usually talk about computers, or philosophy here, but I think
>> this is an important topic. I just wondered what kind of things people have
>> done to make their sighted spouse understand the disability thing.  The
>> biggest part of things for us is that we have horrible transit here in
>> Kenosha and  so it’s difficult to independently travel alone.  My husband
>> just doesn’t know what to  do about this. I take rides with  friends or
>> people from church at times, but some things I want to ride with my husband
>> to together.  He either feels like he should be my only transportation  or
>> not at all.  It’s driving me batty!  Another really big issue is the fact I
>> need things organized (not necessarily good at that however) to be more
>> independent.  If he’s going to be all male and dump everything in  piles
>> all over the house for me to trip over every once in a while, then he can’t
>> get mad at me for a bill not getting paid, a lost check or his the credit
>> card.  Mine you there is no may to read a  credit card  number on a cctv.
>> I just can’t do it.  He seems to think he  should “know” how to  handle it
>> and  dosent realize that  some people have vision that  doesn’t stay
>> stable.  Being a partial it is really difficult to explain.  Some days I
>> can see better than others for example.
>> 
>> I use my cane lots of the time outside the house and sometimes at church.
>> Once I learn the set up of a place I don[‘t have to ask any more questions
>> usually than the average sighted person.  I can’t read print or use a
>> monocular for a lot of outside things or indoors either for that matter.  I
>> do use strong reading  glasses a lot.  I am learning braille but I”ve been
>> a print user all l my life with minimal computer skills and even less
>> income  Help!  I feel like I’m in the twilight zone of sight as it is and
>> can see why he’d be frustrated.  I am too!
>> 
>> Ericka
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> 
> 
> 
> -- 
> *Have A Blessed Day!
> Mari Hunziker
> 512-670-9950 home
> 512-587-1463  cell
> *
> <Month_of_Menus-1.pdf>
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