[Blindtlk] blindtlk Digest, Vol 81, Issue 21
Ericka J. Short
ericka.short at att.net
Tue Mar 19 01:08:29 UTC 2013
I'm also over 40 and I totally know how important it is to write stuff down
somehow. Where did my elephant memory go? I have never heard of evenote.
Where can that be acquired? We are in the bottom of the 47% so we don't
have access to all the wonderful apps that out there. Thanks for the
information about them though. Some day I hope to have aniPhone or
something that I can use these apps with. I am not very skilled at the
computer like many of you seem to be. I do not get along with electronics
at all. That is one thing that drives my computer nerd husband nuts. He
thinks I can teach myself by playing with it like he can. I only wish! I
am afraid I'll mess something up. It's happened before and then it doesn't
work.
Carly, I like what you said about interdependence. Everyone needs to learn
that. My husband isn't controlling or anything. I do all the work around
the house including fixing things. I was back at school and still had to
cook, clean and all the stuff a wife does. I know a part of my problem is I
have a mamma's boy type who wants to have everything done for him but he
feels guilty for it so he gets mad when I clean up his paper mess or ask him
to help me by putting the mail in a certain place so I can find it. Mental
health issues run in the family and I know there is some of that weaving
through all this. Meds done always work and we all know the system for
mental health could be better. BUT he just doesn't understand what I can
and cant do because I am so independent. He doesn't know many blind people
who are independent as we know most NFB folks are. What I say (and we have
had countless chats about what I need and don't ) doesn't register with his
image and so we have a conflict of images. I'm not organized any better
tan he is, but I am confident and know how to adapt most things. I just
don't like doing everything myself. Death or divorce are one thing, doing
it all while married is quite another.
Yes, he's back in school but still can help out some. As all can see, it's
not black and white. Someone had mentioned not liking changes. I think he
has a hard time understanding that life changes for me daily. One thing I
have thought of is giving him a couple days of "practice" being visually
impaired . Without his glasses he is about as impaired as I am . To
illustrate, he can drive if he borrows my glasses! Guess who finds lost
glasses in our house? Me! I've had some of the blindness training at
BLIND Inc a long time ago. I didn't get help with the things I really
needed there though. My parents were great and treated me like any other
kid. My dad insisted on it. He knew he had a good housekeeper going into
the marriage. I don't realized I sucked at anything computer. Math skills
are bad, that isn't the same. I think he thought I was proficient since he
knew most blind people used the talking computers. I think that is all he
knew about blind people before he met me! I've offered to have him learn
braille too so we can communicate. I have come to the conclusion that he is
in denial that I might lose my sight more. He is terrified of death too.
I never imaged this question would strike so many to comment. It is so good
to know I am not alone! I have recently found a visually impaired gal who
has been married to a sighted guy for years and years. She and her
husband are going to come down from Milwaukee to share their experiences and
try to help answers some of his questions. It should bring about the
communication and relief needed to make things better. He says sometimes "I
can't be the husband you need." but it is usually when he doesn't understand
something in relation to my disability. We overcame medication
interactions for him, uncontrolled seizures for me and lots of other things
most couples don't have to deal with. It's about time we took care of us
and really reached out for help. It is bigger than we can do right now. I
am grateful we don't have children, just the furry feline kind. This stress
would have not been good for them. So much I could have said here, but thank
you for helping make our 13th year of marriage more stress-free so we can
enjoy number 14 in July a lot more!
Peace,
Ericka
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk-request at nfbnet.org
Sent: Monday, March 18, 2013 12:00 PM
To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Subject: blindtlk Digest, Vol 81, Issue 21
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Today's Topics:
1. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (justin williams)
2. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (Peter Wolfe)
3. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (Carly Mihalakis)
4. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (Peter Wolfe)
5. Learning Jaws (Peter Wolfe)
6. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (Sean Paul)
7. Re: Learning Jaws (Daniel Garcia)
8. Re: Learning Jaws (Jewel)
9. Re: visually impaired married to a sighted (justin williams)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Sat, 16 Mar 2013 19:25:28 -0400
From: "justin williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID: <001301ce229d$8c551880$a4ff4980$@gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
I have to agree. The Can-do attitude is essential for a good marriage,
especially from the perspective of the blind person; and the sighted person,
but it may not be as obvious. If you don't have the can-do attitude, the
sighted spouce either takes complete control because you have given up your
power, or the spouce gets tired of the marriage. At least, that is how I
see it.
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Mike
Freeman
Sent: Sunday, March 17, 2013 12:33 PM
To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Jessica:
You say that the NFB "can-do" attitude complicates things in a marriage. How
so? I feel that the exact opposite is true; this attitude makes things far
more equal in a marriage in that the sighted person has some confidence and
expectation that the blind partner will pull his/her own weight in the
partnership. This attitude only becomes a problem (in my view) when one
person has been subservient and wants to change and the other person resists
the change in the dynamic of the partnership or one person wants a
subservient partner and the other has suddenly become "liberated" due to NFB
philosophy resulting in conflict.
As I've said elsewhere, open communication is key to coming to a modus
vivendi on these issues.
Mike Freeman
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jessica
Kostiw
Sent: Saturday, March 16, 2013 7:26 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Cc: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Erica and all,
I too can relate to this thread. My sighted husband and I will be
married a year on the 24th of this month. He works long hours, and I am
left to figure things out on my own. On weekends he is exhausted! The NFB
*can do* attitude makes things very complicated in a marriage. I do live in
an area where you can walk many places. You cannot walk everywhere though,
just today my husband had to drive me early about half an hour to an NFB
event. He is usually very good. He even says it is our car. I feel bad
though, this is his weekend. Like I say, he works very long hours. I depend
on my in-laws a great deal. I just moved to town, and really only have one
friend who I can feel comfortable asking to drive me places sometimes. I
probably will chime in again. I am watching this thread very closely. I
appreciate any comments or advice people who have been in my situation and
Ericas longer.
Jessica
Sent from my iPhone
On Mar 15, 2013, at 11:00 PM, Mari Hunziker <marihunziker at gmail.com> wrote:
> HI Ericka,
>
> I can totally relate. I am legally blind, low to high partical depending
> on
> the day as well married to a sighted man. We have been married for 15 and
> a
> half years and it has taken us a very long time to figure it out. I'd even
> say we are still learning how to deal with it each day. I too live in a
> small town in Texas with no transportation. I must rely on neighbors,
> friends, church members or my husband. He was in school fro the last 8
> years - gone from 7am till about 11pm. I had to find the courage to ask
> someone for a ride. He just graduated in December and he is available a
> little more to help drive me around to get errands done. I've learned that
> I don't ever get to do what I want to do. Now that we have kids their
> needs
> come first. Grocery shopping, clothes, shoe, school supply shopping and
> then anything else that needs to get done. I have learned to plan and that
> actually took a while to develop since I am not a very organized person
> when it comes to meal planning. But my friends from church turned me onto
> a
> great monthly planner that does all the work for you. You just follow the
> steps and viola a sensational meal is ready in minutes. I have attached
> it
> here for you and anyone on the list to take and copy. Take a look I think
> its great. It provides a great example of what to do if you want to change
> up the recipes to. Its called Month of Menus!. About the blind and sighted
> thing. There is a Department of Blind Services in your state.
> http://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/blind/ There are several links with
> information on Adjustment skills, Adaptive Equipment, Blindness Education,
> Rehabilitation Teaching Services, Resources and Information, etc. Take a
> look at the link above and call to get some assistance. It will make a
> huge
> difference. Also, I am happy to talk or email off list. Let me know if
> you'd like my info and if you'd like to chat off line. Good luck and God
> Bless. Life is challenging, but we are all here to help each other through
> it.
> Thanks,
> Mari Hunziker
>
> On Fri, Mar 15, 2013 at 8:07 PM, Ericka J. Short
> <ericka.short at att.net>wrote:
>
>> I know we usually talk about computers, or philosophy here, but I think
>> this is an important topic. I just wondered what kind of things people
>> have
>> done to make their sighted spouse understand the disability thing. The
>> biggest part of things for us is that we have horrible transit here in
>> Kenosha and so it?s difficult to independently travel alone. My husband
>> just doesn?t know what to do about this. I take rides with friends or
>> people from church at times, but some things I want to ride with my
>> husband
>> to together. He either feels like he should be my only transportation
>> or
>> not at all. It?s driving me batty! Another really big issue is the fact
>> I
>> need things organized (not necessarily good at that however) to be more
>> independent. If he?s going to be all male and dump everything in piles
>> all over the house for me to trip over every once in a while, then he
>> can?t
>> get mad at me for a bill not getting paid, a lost check or his the credit
>> card. Mine you there is no may to read a credit card number on a cctv.
>> I just can?t do it. He seems to think he should ?know? how to handle
>> it
>> and dosent realize that some people have vision that doesn?t stay
>> stable. Being a partial it is really difficult to explain. Some days I
>> can see better than others for example.
>>
>> I use my cane lots of the time outside the house and sometimes at church.
>> Once I learn the set up of a place I don[?t have to ask any more
>> questions
>> usually than the average sighted person. I can?t read print or use a
>> monocular for a lot of outside things or indoors either for that matter.
>> I
>> do use strong reading glasses a lot. I am learning braille but I?ve
>> been
>> a print user all l my life with minimal computer skills and even less
>> income Help! I feel like I?m in the twilight zone of sight as it is and
>> can see why he?d be frustrated. I am too!
>>
>> Ericka
>> _______________________________________________
>> blindtlk mailing list
>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blindtlk:
>>
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/marihunziker%40gmail.com
>
>
>
> --
> *Have A Blessed Day!
> Mari Hunziker
> 512-670-9950 home
> 512-587-1463 cell
> *
> <Month_of_Menus-1.pdf>
> _______________________________________________
> blindtlk mailing list
> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blindtlk:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/jessicac.kostiw%40gmail.com
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------------------------------
Message: 2
Date: Sun, 17 Mar 2013 19:19:50 -0600
From: Peter Wolfe <yogabare13 at gmail.com>
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID:
<CAGL4Np0SG6um6qV_kR=c45dS8E94-q5v2SC5F+_GvCKgkdo9Lw at mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
While I'm not a NFB member, I agree with their philosophy of
self-sufficency as much as humanly possible. One thing to consider is
whether you could adaquately take care of yourself especially after
the spouces eventual death, incapacitation or departure out of the
relationship. You must always put yourself first in any and all things
in life. This is definitely true considering your a woman for
offspring and your own well being as a whole. There can only be good
that comes from you being independent on your self-esteem, time
efficiency and perhaps more economic contribution could do wonders in
any household not just in your specific case. By the way, I'm dealing
with something similar that a partner isn't allowing me to clean so am
slowly changing this dynamic.
see ya,
Peter
------------------------------
Message: 3
Date: Sun, 17 Mar 2013 23:17:31 -0700
From: Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net>
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID: <7.0.1.0.2.20130317231312.01d030d8 at comcast.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
Hi, Peter,
Perhaps, hbut I can't help wondering about merits of
interdependence? How can I ignore this layer of socialism? Don't we
need each other? Isn't that why there isn't a lone person to
constitute a whole society?
I spent a lot of time with the federation in Litttleton, Colorado
while living there. Since then, I have become brain damaged and
realize I need people to guide me.
CarAt 06:19 PM 3/17/2013, you wrote:
> While I'm not a NFB member, I agree with their philosophy of
>self-sufficency as much as humanly possible. One thing to consider is
>whether you could adaquately take care of yourself especially after
>the spouces eventual death, incapacitation or departure out of the
>relationship. You must always put yourself first in any and all things
>in life. This is definitely true considering your a woman for
>offspring and your own well being as a whole. There can only be good
>that comes from you being independent on your self-esteem, time
>efficiency and perhaps more economic contribution could do wonders in
>any household not just in your specific case. By the way, I'm dealing
>with something similar that a partner isn't allowing me to clean so am
>slowly changing this dynamic.
>
>
>see ya,
>Peter
>
>_______________________________________________
>blindtlk mailing list
>blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
>for blindtlk:
>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/carlymih%40comcast.net
------------------------------
Message: 4
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2013 05:52:15 -0600
From: Peter Wolfe <yogabare13 at gmail.com>
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID:
<CAGL4Np0CGaw335rOfwdyGO8yzXc1fCYqsiSwNn7ifkkBCnFOZA at mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Carly,
Well, I don't know what specifics that you speak about with your
time with the Federation so can't comment on that portion of your
comment. However, I realize that not one person can do everything onto
themselves because that is beyond reality of not only blind people but
anybody. All I'm saying or the Federation is attempting to convey is
do as much as humanly possible for yourself for your the only one who
knows your unique circumstances. No one organizations has the
resources or man power to weild this into conform with the variants of
individuals in the world with any level of percission.
Whether we all like it or not that the United States is a
capitalist country with the institutions that enforce these elements
in our society. We cannot rid ourselves with this reality but we can
educate ourselves of the practices that discriminate or scam us in
this system. Irregardless of whatever political belief that
self-sufficiency is being adopted even in the liberal idealogues in
D.C to the tech community as a whole as being more cost controls will
happen. I also think itws a good thing to realize that general rules
don't apply in all circumstances is a great thing. I've heard of blind
people in rural Alabama using ropes as guides to get from their dirt
roaded homes to the streets just a small example of the innovative
spirit of blind individuals. Creativity is what society and
individuals with blindness need not more bureaucracy or control as
much. Maybe one day this all won't matter cause blindness will be
cured with stem cells or other federal efforts.
talk soon,
Peter
On 3/18/13, Carly Mihalakis <carlymih at comcast.net> wrote:
> Hi, Peter,
>
> Perhaps, hbut I can't help wondering about merits of
> interdependence? How can I ignore this layer of socialism? Don't we
> need each other? Isn't that why there isn't a lone person to
> constitute a whole society?
> I spent a lot of time with the federation in Litttleton, Colorado
> while living there. Since then, I have become brain damaged and
> realize I need people to guide me.
> CarAt 06:19 PM 3/17/2013, you wrote:
>> While I'm not a NFB member, I agree with their philosophy of
>>self-sufficency as much as humanly possible. One thing to consider is
>>whether you could adaquately take care of yourself especially after
>>the spouces eventual death, incapacitation or departure out of the
>>relationship. You must always put yourself first in any and all things
>>in life. This is definitely true considering your a woman for
>>offspring and your own well being as a whole. There can only be good
>>that comes from you being independent on your self-esteem, time
>>efficiency and perhaps more economic contribution could do wonders in
>>any household not just in your specific case. By the way, I'm dealing
>>with something similar that a partner isn't allowing me to clean so am
>>slowly changing this dynamic.
>>
>>
>>see ya,
>>Peter
>>
>>_______________________________________________
>>blindtlk mailing list
>>blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
>>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info
>>for blindtlk:
>>http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/carlymih%40comcast.net
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blindtlk mailing list
> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blindtlk:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/yogabare13%40gmail.com
>
--
Cordially,
Peter Q Wolfe, BA
cum laude Auburn University
e-mail: yogabare13 at gmail.com
"If you don't stand up for something your willing to fall for anything"
Peter Q Wolfe
"Stand up for your rights"
Bob Marley
------------------------------
Message: 5
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2013 05:56:37 -0600
From: Peter Wolfe <yogabare13 at gmail.com>
To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Subject: [Blindtlk] Learning Jaws
Message-ID:
<CAGL4Np1=eAfuq6pz0H7vw=6uRKQshS2i7DP9UP3dHZqPLTogWA at mail.gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Dear NFB Talk members,
How did all of you learn jaws screen reader? I ask this cause
apparently to obtain federal employment that you have to learn this
crutial screen reader application to be able to work with them. I
currently use window-eyes from GW-Micro and unfortunately Rehab as it
was then in 2002-2005 that they didn't inform me about this risk.
Anyways, I don't have the patients of the fourty minute demo and
Vocational Rehabilitation isn't suseptable to the idea of buying me it
so am at a crossroads on this issue. I'll continue pressing on Jaws to
be purchased just don't know how best to learn it either
freedomscientific.com tutorials or a planned study somewhere like the
Lousiana school for eight months that is a long time or what. Thanks
on your opinions on what to consider cause I really badly want
employment.
your fellow liberal,
Peter
--
Cordially,
Peter Q Wolfe, BA
cum laude Auburn University
e-mail: yogabare13 at gmail.com
"If you don't stand up for something your willing to fall for anything"
Peter Q Wolfe
"Stand up for your rights"
Bob Marley
------------------------------
Message: 6
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2013 08:08:24 -0400
From: "Sean Paul" <newsandtraffic at aol.com>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID: <E0574FA711B147FEAFF25A3D67D9A737 at PC>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="Windows-1252";
reply-type=original
Heyya Ericka:
I am currently on my second marriage, both of my wives are & have been
sighted. I'll say that the reason that my first marriage didn't work,
probably could be blamed on the fact that she & I married much to young &
that both of us could be blamed for much which happened in the 14 years of
marriage that followed. In other words. I'm not saying it's because I
couldn't see & she could or she just didn't understand me, what a visually
impaired person goes through, or, I couldn't understand the sighted world,
etc. I'd say neither of us could understand the other & it had nothing to do
with sight or not. Then children came & we tried to make it work for those
children as long as we could until we both figured out that we were doing
the children more worse by staying together rather than moving on. I'll say
that in my many years of dating both before & between marriages, I've only
dated 1 visually impaired young lady. &, that relationship was short lived.
That wasn't a conscious decision that I made or didn't make, it was the way
that things went for me. Even going to a blind school & dating whilst in
highschool, it was always this way for me. I think the major issue here is a
communication issue. Sounds like to me that both of you need to sit down &
talk this out. Tell him how you feel & listen to how he feels. I'll say
this. Both of my wives have been mostly understanding about most things. Of
course, they're more than glad to let me clean, do dishes, laundry, etc.
Yes, transpertation is & will always be an issue for those of us who are
visually impaired. It doesn't matter whether you live in a large city or
small town. However, it's much harder when you live in a small town. I don't
currently, however I did for 4 years, population 1217... Tough sledding for
sure. However, even living in a larger city has its transpertation
challenges. I've often found in my 20 years in radio doing news reporting.
That in most cities if you live on a good bus line you also live on a high
crime line. It's just the way that it is. I'd suggest you explain to your
husband that you have to take rides where you can get them. Meaning that if
it's him, it's him, if it's a friend a church member, it is what it is. If
he has an issue with you taking rides with others, find out why this is some
sort of an issue & come to a resolution on that issue. I currently live in a
fairly large city but transpertation is still a rather large issue for me.
&, it was even when I lived in much larger cities than this 1. I made it
very clear to my current wife before we were married whilst we were still
dating that I didn't want to or would not move out where I at least did not
have access to a taxi cab service. I hate using them because of their
expense however, I at least still want that option if I need it. I do not
currently live exactly on a bus line however if I need to get to the bus
line, it's relatively close down the street to get it & I'm very farmilular
with the system itself & sit on the public transpertation board for the bus
service. I also have access to the door to door service however, getting
that in a pintch is about as painful as seeing the dentist for a root canal.
Since I have to go to such things as City Councel meetings, court trials,
press conferences, as part of my job. I'm always in need of some sort of
transpertation & somehow I've always made it work. & in all actuallity, I
rely very little on my sighted wife for such. I'd say the only thing I've
relied & rely on her for transpertation for is the things which we do
together such as going to eat, shopping, out, etc. I've just completed going
back to school & whilst I was in school I did rely on her a little more than
I had at other times. But, we've only been married 2.5 years currently. I
also explained to her whilst we were dating & before we were married that I
didn't want to rely strictly on her for transpertation. I made it very clear
to her that I wasn't marrying her for her eyes, her car, etc. I let her know
early on in our relationship that I needed to do as much for myself as I
could & that if I needed her asistance with something that I'd let her know.
&, I also let her know that if she needed my asistance with something to let
me know. Always keep in mind that marriage is like playing a team sport.
Find out what each of your strengths & weaknesses are & use them. In other
words, pull the rope the same way. If you've not been married long,
sometimes this takes some getting used to.
As far as picking up goes. That'll never change, just get used to it best
you can. They're used to living in a sighted world & you can't expect them
to change totally here. You can ask for change & perhaps in time they will
change some, but, don't sit around & wait on it. They're used to getting the
salt out of the cabinet & putting it back where they want it to go, if it
gets put back at all, &, you have to find it. Why it's a real good idea to
mark things so that you know what it is... Or, just do like I do & don't eat
salt... Yes, that was meant to be funny & I hope that it was taken as
such...
As far as bills go. Try to get as many of them paperless as you can. In
other words, get as many of them online as you're able to so you then have
access to them. That's what we do around here. I handle all of the bill pay
& that's my choice. No, I didn't say that Kim doesn't put her money in to
pay them. I just pay them either on line or by calling them in. By going as
paperless as you can, that helps solve the issue with the mail. I get very
little in the way of actual paper mail &, I'm perfectly fine with that...
Should I get a piece of mail, she has no issue at all reading that to me.
I'd say in the past year I've probably only gotten 5 pieces of paper mail in
the mail. &, I'd say that if they didn't get read to me, that was their
losse, not mine... But, most of what I need doesn't come in the mail, it
comes in an email so I can sit down and either read it or if it's just a
notification of the fact that the bill is ready, I can go to the site & read
it.
As far as checks go. We don't use them unless we absolutly have to. We do as
much on line as we can & both have our paychecks direct depossited in to our
checking accounts & move them around as we need to. This insures that checks
don't get lost, fall in the wrong hands, etc.
As far as a credit card goes. Ask him to read you the numbers from all of
the cards that either both of you or you or he have & either write them down
on an app which you have on like an iPhone if you have such or in notepad,
etc on your computer. We have my debit card, her debit card & our debit card
which of course has different numbers on each one of them. We also have
paypal master cards for both of our paypal accounts. So, I've written all of
those numbers down so that I have access to them at any time that I want. I
personally use evernote so I have access to this information whether I'm on
my computer at home, work, my iPhone, etc. I've also taken down such
information and stored it in this evernote such as bank account numbers as
we both have separate checking accounts as well as a joint checking account.
Her SSN number, her drivers license number, the medication that she takes,
her insurance number, allergies, medical issues, and much much more. &,
since she also uses evernote, she's done the same for me. Not only does this
give us access to each others information for handling bills, it also gives
us access to that information should we need it in an emergency, one of us
becomes incapacitated , etc. One of the things which we've done as we both
have access to a notebook which is what evernote calls folders. &, we add
things that we need to make the other aware of if we've not sat down &
talked about it, such as doctors appointments, work schedule changes, a
certain bill paid on a certain day, something needed at the store, what
types of light bulbs go in the light bar in the bathroom, etc. Most of these
things do get talked about. However, we'll still put them down so as not to
forget things which happens when you're pushing 40 as I'm doing... &, she's
already pushed over it... &, we both make it a regular habbit to check our
joint notebook. Technoligy is your friend here. Put it to good use when &
where you can. It sounds like to me that you're in the process of learning
some of this technoligy type stuff as well as braille. Once you get a better
handle on those things getting some organization going should be a bit
easier for you to get a handle on. Such as marking things, getting things
written down so that you have access to them, getting your bills on the
computer, etc.
If he's not willing to read things to you or has some sort of issue helping
you get this sort of organization going. I'm afraid you've an issue that
this list can't help you solve.
Again, in closing, I'd suggest you & he really sit down & have a come to
whatever meetin'. I'm not sure how long you've been married but one thing
I'd say that I've learned over my many years on this here earth is that
marriage is kind of like running a business at times. Sometimes you've just
gotta sit down & have staff meetings, throw it all out on the table & figure
it out. In other words, talk, talk & talk some more. I'm also not sure how
old you & he are but I've also found out that as I age some of this does
become a bit easier as the other person ages with you. If I can be of any
further assistance to you, please feel free to write me off list at
newsandtraffic at aol.com I'd also like to apologize to all for the length of
this email. But, I hope that perhaps some of my ideas & ways of handling
things will serve to help others as well & perhaps I'll even find ideas that
work better for me in my work flow as well.
Sean Paul
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mari Hunziker" <marihunziker at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, March 15, 2013 23:00
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
HI Ericka,
I can totally relate. I am legally blind, low to high partical depending on
the day as well married to a sighted man. We have been married for 15 and a
half years and it has taken us a very long time to figure it out. I'd even
say we are still learning how to deal with it each day. I too live in a
small town in Texas with no transportation. I must rely on neighbors,
friends, church members or my husband. He was in school fro the last 8
years - gone from 7am till about 11pm. I had to find the courage to ask
someone for a ride. He just graduated in December and he is available a
little more to help drive me around to get errands done. I've learned that
I don't ever get to do what I want to do. Now that we have kids their needs
come first. Grocery shopping, clothes, shoe, school supply shopping and
then anything else that needs to get done. I have learned to plan and that
actually took a while to develop since I am not a very organized person
when it comes to meal planning. But my friends from church turned me onto a
great monthly planner that does all the work for you. You just follow the
steps and viola a sensational meal is ready in minutes. I have attached it
here for you and anyone on the list to take and copy. Take a look I think
its great. It provides a great example of what to do if you want to change
up the recipes to. Its called Month of Menus!. About the blind and sighted
thing. There is a Department of Blind Services in your state.
http://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/blind/ There are several links with
information on Adjustment skills, Adaptive Equipment, Blindness Education,
Rehabilitation Teaching Services, Resources and Information, etc. Take a
look at the link above and call to get some assistance. It will make a huge
difference. Also, I am happy to talk or email off list. Let me know if
you'd like my info and if you'd like to chat off line. Good luck and God
Bless. Life is challenging, but we are all here to help each other through
it.
Thanks,
Mari Hunziker
On Fri, Mar 15, 2013 at 8:07 PM, Ericka J. Short
<ericka.short at att.net>wrote:
> I know we usually talk about computers, or philosophy here, but I think
> this is an important topic. I just wondered what kind of things people
> have
> done to make their sighted spouse understand the disability thing. The
> biggest part of things for us is that we have horrible transit here in
> Kenosha and so it?s difficult to independently travel alone. My husband
> just doesn?t know what to do about this. I take rides with friends or
> people from church at times, but some things I want to ride with my
> husband
> to together. He either feels like he should be my only transportation or
> not at all. It?s driving me batty! Another really big issue is the fact
> I
> need things organized (not necessarily good at that however) to be more
> independent. If he?s going to be all male and dump everything in piles
> all over the house for me to trip over every once in a while, then he
> can?t
> get mad at me for a bill not getting paid, a lost check or his the credit
> card. Mine you there is no may to read a credit card number on a cctv.
> I just can?t do it. He seems to think he should ?know? how to handle
> it
> and dosent realize that some people have vision that doesn?t stay
> stable. Being a partial it is really difficult to explain. Some days I
> can see better than others for example.
>
> I use my cane lots of the time outside the house and sometimes at church.
> Once I learn the set up of a place I don[?t have to ask any more
> questions
> usually than the average sighted person. I can?t read print or use a
> monocular for a lot of outside things or indoors either for that matter.
> I
> do use strong reading glasses a lot. I am learning braille but I?ve been
> a print user all l my life with minimal computer skills and even less
> income Help! I feel like I?m in the twilight zone of sight as it is and
> can see why he?d be frustrated. I am too!
>
> Ericka
> _______________________________________________
> blindtlk mailing list
> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blindtlk:
>
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/marihunziker%40gmail.com
>
--
*Have A Blessed Day!
Mari Hunziker
512-670-9950 home
512-587-1463 cell
*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> _______________________________________________
> blindtlk mailing list
> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blindtlk:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/newsandtraffic%40aol.com
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----
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------------------------------
Message: 7
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2013 10:27:49 -0400
From: Daniel Garcia <dangarcia3 at hotmail.com>
To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Learning Jaws
Message-ID: <BAY172-DS24CCC60B47F36F4B656A1088E80 at phx.gbl>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
You ask how we learn JAWS. In my case I learned it at the Training Center
for the Blind in my state.
You can download the Demo Version and install the DAISY Training Modules in
your computer. You can listen to these modules either in FS Reader or you
can copy them into a USB stick and play them on an NLS device if you have
one. FS Reader is installed with JAWS; it is a program with which you can
listen to the training modules on your PC.
I have never used Window Eyes so I don't know if the commands are similar to
JAWS and how much of a learning curbe you'll have. But my guess is that once
you learn one screen reader it is easy to learn another one, in the same way
that once you learn a language it is easy to learn another. For instance, it
was quite easy for me to learn NVDA on my own at home after having used JAWS
for a few months and also being frustrated with the demo version.
HTH
Daniel
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Peter Wolfe
Sent: Monday, March 18, 2013 7:57 AM
To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
Subject: [Blindtlk] Learning Jaws
Dear NFB Talk members,
How did all of you learn jaws screen reader? I ask this cause apparently
to obtain federal employment that you have to learn this crutial screen
reader application to be able to work with them. I currently use window-eyes
from GW-Micro and unfortunately Rehab as it was then in 2002-2005 that they
didn't inform me about this risk.
Anyways, I don't have the patients of the fourty minute demo and Vocational
Rehabilitation isn't suseptable to the idea of buying me it so am at a
crossroads on this issue. I'll continue pressing on Jaws to be purchased
just don't know how best to learn it either freedomscientific.com tutorials
or a planned study somewhere like the Lousiana school for eight months that
is a long time or what. Thanks on your opinions on what to consider cause I
really badly want employment.
your fellow liberal,
Peter
--
Cordially,
Peter Q Wolfe, BA
cum laude Auburn University
e-mail: yogabare13 at gmail.com
"If you don't stand up for something your willing to fall for anything"
Peter Q Wolfe
"Stand up for your rights"
Bob Marley
_______________________________________________
blindtlk mailing list
blindtlk at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blindtlk:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/dangarcia3%40hotmail.c
om
------------------------------
Message: 8
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2013 12:34:12 -0400
From: Jewel <herekittykat2 at gmail.com>
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Learning Jaws
Message-ID: <6E8D03F1-3796-4600-A393-8C850EA97F55 at gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
I originally got JAWS via a friend, and knew only that it would help me use
the computer without sight. I didn't know anything about rehabilitation. I
just started playing around on the computer using the screenreader. I had a
lot of motivation because the computer was my only connection to the world
during the day when I was alone and had no one to take me anywhere. I would
spend hours working on learning basic hotkeys and how to check my email. I
used the tutorials available through the screenreader, and over time got
better and better. After about two years, I was recommended to the state
rehabilitation center, but when they tested my computer skills, they found I
needed very little training in that area.
I know that I an something of an exception. I taught myself the Braille
alphabet before going to the center. But with the right amount of motivation
and the right tools, you might be able to teach yourself the screenreader.
Just be patient with yourself.
My two cents,
jewel
Sent from my iPhone
On Mar 18, 2013, at 7:56 AM, Peter Wolfe <yogabare13 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Dear NFB Talk members,
>
>
> How did all of you learn jaws screen reader? I ask this cause
> apparently to obtain federal employment that you have to learn this
> crutial screen reader application to be able to work with them. I
> currently use window-eyes from GW-Micro and unfortunately Rehab as it
> was then in 2002-2005 that they didn't inform me about this risk.
> Anyways, I don't have the patients of the fourty minute demo and
> Vocational Rehabilitation isn't suseptable to the idea of buying me it
> so am at a crossroads on this issue. I'll continue pressing on Jaws to
> be purchased just don't know how best to learn it either
> freedomscientific.com tutorials or a planned study somewhere like the
> Lousiana school for eight months that is a long time or what. Thanks
> on your opinions on what to consider cause I really badly want
> employment.
>
>
> your fellow liberal,
> Peter
>
> --
> Cordially,
> Peter Q Wolfe, BA
> cum laude Auburn University
> e-mail: yogabare13 at gmail.com
> "If you don't stand up for something your willing to fall for anything"
> Peter Q Wolfe
> "Stand up for your rights"
> Bob Marley
>
> _______________________________________________
> blindtlk mailing list
> blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blindtlk_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blindtlk:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blindtlk_nfbnet.org/herekittykat2%40gmail.com
------------------------------
Message: 9
Date: Sun, 17 Mar 2013 12:42:15 -0400
From: "justin williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
To: "'Blind Talk Mailing List'" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Message-ID: <002801ce232e$6273d830$275b8890$@gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
You said it all man.
-----Original Message-----
From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Sean Paul
Sent: Monday, March 18, 2013 8:08 AM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
Heyya Ericka:
I am currently on my second marriage, both of my wives are & have been
sighted. I'll say that the reason that my first marriage didn't work,
probably could be blamed on the fact that she & I married much to young &
that both of us could be blamed for much which happened in the 14 years of
marriage that followed. In other words. I'm not saying it's because I
couldn't see & she could or she just didn't understand me, what a visually
impaired person goes through, or, I couldn't understand the sighted world,
etc. I'd say neither of us could understand the other & it had nothing to do
with sight or not. Then children came & we tried to make it work for those
children as long as we could until we both figured out that we were doing
the children more worse by staying together rather than moving on. I'll say
that in my many years of dating both before & between marriages, I've only
dated 1 visually impaired young lady. &, that relationship was short lived.
That wasn't a conscious decision that I made or didn't make, it was the way
that things went for me. Even going to a blind school & dating whilst in
highschool, it was always this way for me. I think the major issue here is a
communication issue. Sounds like to me that both of you need to sit down &
talk this out. Tell him how you feel & listen to how he feels. I'll say
this. Both of my wives have been mostly understanding about most things. Of
course, they're more than glad to let me clean, do dishes, laundry, etc.
Yes, transpertation is & will always be an issue for those of us who are
visually impaired. It doesn't matter whether you live in a large city or
small town. However, it's much harder when you live in a small town. I don't
currently, however I did for 4 years, population 1217... Tough sledding for
sure. However, even living in a larger city has its transpertation
challenges. I've often found in my 20 years in radio doing news reporting.
That in most cities if you live on a good bus line you also live on a high
crime line. It's just the way that it is. I'd suggest you explain to your
husband that you have to take rides where you can get them. Meaning that if
it's him, it's him, if it's a friend a church member, it is what it is. If
he has an issue with you taking rides with others, find out why this is some
sort of an issue & come to a resolution on that issue. I currently live in a
fairly large city but transpertation is still a rather large issue for me.
&, it was even when I lived in much larger cities than this 1. I made it
very clear to my current wife before we were married whilst we were still
dating that I didn't want to or would not move out where I at least did not
have access to a taxi cab service. I hate using them because of their
expense however, I at least still want that option if I need it. I do not
currently live exactly on a bus line however if I need to get to the bus
line, it's relatively close down the street to get it & I'm very farmilular
with the system itself & sit on the public transpertation board for the bus
service. I also have access to the door to door service however, getting
that in a pintch is about as painful as seeing the dentist for a root canal.
Since I have to go to such things as City Councel meetings, court trials,
press conferences, as part of my job. I'm always in need of some sort of
transpertation & somehow I've always made it work. & in all actuallity, I
rely very little on my sighted wife for such. I'd say the only thing I've
relied & rely on her for transpertation for is the things which we do
together such as going to eat, shopping, out, etc. I've just completed going
back to school & whilst I was in school I did rely on her a little more than
I had at other times. But, we've only been married 2.5 years currently. I
also explained to her whilst we were dating & before we were married that I
didn't want to rely strictly on her for transpertation. I made it very clear
to her that I wasn't marrying her for her eyes, her car, etc. I let her know
early on in our relationship that I needed to do as much for myself as I
could & that if I needed her asistance with something that I'd let her know.
&, I also let her know that if she needed my asistance with something to let
me know. Always keep in mind that marriage is like playing a team sport.
Find out what each of your strengths & weaknesses are & use them. In other
words, pull the rope the same way. If you've not been married long,
sometimes this takes some getting used to.
As far as picking up goes. That'll never change, just get used to it best
you can. They're used to living in a sighted world & you can't expect them
to change totally here. You can ask for change & perhaps in time they will
change some, but, don't sit around & wait on it. They're used to getting the
salt out of the cabinet & putting it back where they want it to go, if it
gets put back at all, &, you have to find it. Why it's a real good idea to
mark things so that you know what it is... Or, just do like I do & don't eat
salt... Yes, that was meant to be funny & I hope that it was taken as
such...
As far as bills go. Try to get as many of them paperless as you can. In
other words, get as many of them online as you're able to so you then have
access to them. That's what we do around here. I handle all of the bill pay
& that's my choice. No, I didn't say that Kim doesn't put her money in to
pay them. I just pay them either on line or by calling them in. By going as
paperless as you can, that helps solve the issue with the mail. I get very
little in the way of actual paper mail &, I'm perfectly fine with that...
Should I get a piece of mail, she has no issue at all reading that to me.
I'd say in the past year I've probably only gotten 5 pieces of paper mail in
the mail. &, I'd say that if they didn't get read to me, that was their
losse, not mine... But, most of what I need doesn't come in the mail, it
comes in an email so I can sit down and either read it or if it's just a
notification of the fact that the bill is ready, I can go to the site & read
it.
As far as checks go. We don't use them unless we absolutly have to. We do as
much on line as we can & both have our paychecks direct depossited in to our
checking accounts & move them around as we need to. This insures that checks
don't get lost, fall in the wrong hands, etc.
As far as a credit card goes. Ask him to read you the numbers from all of
the cards that either both of you or you or he have & either write them down
on an app which you have on like an iPhone if you have such or in notepad,
etc on your computer. We have my debit card, her debit card & our debit card
which of course has different numbers on each one of them. We also have
paypal master cards for both of our paypal accounts. So, I've written all of
those numbers down so that I have access to them at any time that I want. I
personally use evernote so I have access to this information whether I'm on
my computer at home, work, my iPhone, etc. I've also taken down such
information and stored it in this evernote such as bank account numbers as
we both have separate checking accounts as well as a joint checking account.
Her SSN number, her drivers license number, the medication that she takes,
her insurance number, allergies, medical issues, and much much more. &,
since she also uses evernote, she's done the same for me. Not only does this
give us access to each others information for handling bills, it also gives
us access to that information should we need it in an emergency, one of us
becomes incapacitated , etc. One of the things which we've done as we both
have access to a notebook which is what evernote calls folders. &, we add
things that we need to make the other aware of if we've not sat down &
talked about it, such as doctors appointments, work schedule changes, a
certain bill paid on a certain day, something needed at the store, what
types of light bulbs go in the light bar in the bathroom, etc. Most of these
things do get talked about. However, we'll still put them down so as not to
forget things which happens when you're pushing 40 as I'm doing... &, she's
already pushed over it... &, we both make it a regular habbit to check our
joint notebook. Technoligy is your friend here. Put it to good use when &
where you can. It sounds like to me that you're in the process of learning
some of this technoligy type stuff as well as braille. Once you get a better
handle on those things getting some organization going should be a bit
easier for you to get a handle on. Such as marking things, getting things
written down so that you have access to them, getting your bills on the
computer, etc.
If he's not willing to read things to you or has some sort of issue helping
you get this sort of organization going. I'm afraid you've an issue that
this list can't help you solve.
Again, in closing, I'd suggest you & he really sit down & have a come to
whatever meetin'. I'm not sure how long you've been married but one thing
I'd say that I've learned over my many years on this here earth is that
marriage is kind of like running a business at times. Sometimes you've just
gotta sit down & have staff meetings, throw it all out on the table & figure
it out. In other words, talk, talk & talk some more. I'm also not sure how
old you & he are but I've also found out that as I age some of this does
become a bit easier as the other person ages with you. If I can be of any
further assistance to you, please feel free to write me off list at
newsandtraffic at aol.com I'd also like to apologize to all for the length of
this email. But, I hope that perhaps some of my ideas & ways of handling
things will serve to help others as well & perhaps I'll even find ideas that
work better for me in my work flow as well.
Sean Paul
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mari Hunziker" <marihunziker at gmail.com>
To: "Blind Talk Mailing List" <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, March 15, 2013 23:00
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] visually impaired married to a sighted
HI Ericka,
I can totally relate. I am legally blind, low to high partical depending on
the day as well married to a sighted man. We have been married for 15 and a
half years and it has taken us a very long time to figure it out. I'd even
say we are still learning how to deal with it each day. I too live in a
small town in Texas with no transportation. I must rely on neighbors,
friends, church members or my husband. He was in school fro the last 8
years - gone from 7am till about 11pm. I had to find the courage to ask
someone for a ride. He just graduated in December and he is available a
little more to help drive me around to get errands done. I've learned that
I don't ever get to do what I want to do. Now that we have kids their needs
come first. Grocery shopping, clothes, shoe, school supply shopping and
then anything else that needs to get done. I have learned to plan and that
actually took a while to develop since I am not a very organized person
when it comes to meal planning. But my friends from church turned me onto a
great monthly planner that does all the work for you. You just follow the
steps and viola a sensational meal is ready in minutes. I have attached it
here for you and anyone on the list to take and copy. Take a look I think
its great. It provides a great example of what to do if you want to change
up the recipes to. Its called Month of Menus!. About the blind and sighted
thing. There is a Department of Blind Services in your state.
http://www.dhs.wisconsin.gov/blind/ There are several links with
information on Adjustment skills, Adaptive Equipment, Blindness Education,
Rehabilitation Teaching Services, Resources and Information, etc. Take a
look at the link above and call to get some assistance. It will make a huge
difference. Also, I am happy to talk or email off list. Let me know if
you'd like my info and if you'd like to chat off line. Good luck and God
Bless. Life is challenging, but we are all here to help each other through
it.
Thanks,
Mari Hunziker
On Fri, Mar 15, 2013 at 8:07 PM, Ericka J. Short
<ericka.short at att.net>wrote:
> I know we usually talk about computers, or philosophy here, but I think
> this is an important topic. I just wondered what kind of things people
> have
> done to make their sighted spouse understand the disability thing. The
> biggest part of things for us is that we have horrible transit here in
> Kenosha and so it's difficult to independently travel alone. My husband
> just doesn't know what to do about this. I take rides with friends or
> people from church at times, but some things I want to ride with my
> husband
> to together. He either feels like he should be my only transportation or
> not at all. It's driving me batty! Another really big issue is the fact
> I
> need things organized (not necessarily good at that however) to be more
> independent. If he's going to be all male and dump everything in piles
> all over the house for me to trip over every once in a while, then he
can't
> get mad at me for a bill not getting paid, a lost check or his the credit
> card. Mine you there is no may to read a credit card number on a cctv.
> I just can't do it. He seems to think he should "know" how to handle
> it
> and dosent realize that some people have vision that doesn't stay
> stable. Being a partial it is really difficult to explain. Some days I
> can see better than others for example.
>
> I use my cane lots of the time outside the house and sometimes at church.
> Once I learn the set up of a place I don['t have to ask any more
> questions
> usually than the average sighted person. I can't read print or use a
> monocular for a lot of outside things or indoors either for that matter.
> I
> do use strong reading glasses a lot. I am learning braille but I"ve been
> a print user all l my life with minimal computer skills and even less
> income Help! I feel like I'm in the twilight zone of sight as it is and
> can see why he'd be frustrated. I am too!
>
> Ericka
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>
--
*Have A Blessed Day!
Mari Hunziker
512-670-9950 home
512-587-1463 cell
*
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