[Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness

[Bernadetta]

Hi Jason and others,
I agree with most of what's been said here, but I'd like to add a few 
tidbits. Being someone who's in a happy and fruitful relationship 
myself, I might have something useful to contribute.
First, I've noticed suggestions from others to try dating blind women. 
I agree. But the way they've been pronounced here, I get the impression 
that we're suggesting that blind women have more flexible outlooks, or 
that they're more readily willing to date someone with a disability.
I'd hope that's true, but I've personally witnessed at least three 
instances where a person with a disability, blindness in particular, 
was almost as hesitant or against the thought of dating someone blind 
as some sighted people, if not more. It might be rare, but those people 
are out there.
So here's my point: Don't limit yourself to either group. Sighted 
blind, deaf, in a wheelchair, green or blue or yellow, the person you 
want to be with is the one who accepts you most. Who is most 
comfortable with you, not just your disability. Some blind people are 
just as prejudiced, and there are plenty of sighted people who aren't. 
So open your mind to all possibilities. The only factor that matters is 
that you jell well, that you're independent individuals and you have 
the potential to make each other Happy.
Regarding disclosing your blindness on dating sites, I'd say definitely 
do so. But don't make it into a neon sign. Stick it into the 
background--into the rest of your characteristics. Say something about 
it, but don't be so drab as "i'm blind." The bigger deal you make out 
of your disability, the more people will recognize it and make it a big 
deal as well. If you have a bit of creativity or a sense of humor, try 
to use it to your advantage in this case. Work your blindness subtly 
into conversations, once in a great while though, so that it's not 
sticking out from the rest of who you are like a sore thumb.
Remember, the key is to not be dishonest, but to paint your disability 
as just another aspect of yourself. If you don't' make it a big deal, 
if you yourself can overshadow it with your endeavors, your 
personality, your interests, then someone else is likely to do the 
same. They wont' be able to help it. They'll be compelled.
look at ray charles for instance. He was bigger than his blindness. I 
admit, he might be a poor example here, but he's the first person that 
pops into mind at this late hour. I'm not condoning taking up heroine 
and aspiring to be a famous musician, not at all. But my point is, he 
was a mesmerizing enough person that people forgot about his blindness, 
or else they let it be, just because they were compelled to see him as 
a whole person. I can think of plenty of other successful blind people, 
none by name specifically, who just left their disability in the 
background and got on with their life. And in those instances, people 
sighted or not, were forced to see them for who they were, not what 
their disability made them.

With that, I wish you the best of luck. May the right girl find you or 
vice versa.

Bernadetta