[Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness

Sun Sep 8 23:36:44 UTC 2013

Seriously, when I was in college, I found getting a date with a sighted girl 
very tough indeed.  And once when I actually did, I became so up-tight and 
nervous about how I came across, that I think I ruined it for both of us. 
Fortunately, we remained friends and probably became better friends that 
year and it became much easier to do things with her, for example asking her 
to go to church with me.  I would also say that for me, I was inadvertently 
doing things that weren't going to work.  For example, even the way I asked 
reflected a lack of confidence, so I often got rejected.  I think there is a 
fine line between having no confidence and being cocky and somehow thinking 
you are God's gift to women.  Quiet, but certain confidence, showing an 
interest in what they want to talk about during the date, displaying good 
manners, all of that is important.  Interestingly, I also found that as I 
got older, it became easier to ask people out and to go steady, either I 
just became more confident or we all became more mature.  I hope that's what 
happens for you, Jason.

Mark Tardif
Nuclear arms will not hold you.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Julie J.
Sent: Sunday, September 08, 2013 4:46 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness

I agree with Mike.  Blindness is only an issue if you make it one. Or at
least that has been my experience.

It would be really interesting to get my sighted husband's point of view on
this.  I'll ask him if my blindness was a concern for him or how it figured
into his decision to date me.  I'll let you all know what he says.

I do know that he had never met a blind person until my friend who
introduced us became blind.  So he had very little experience with
blindness, except for what you get from TV and the like.

Julie

-----Original Message----- 
From: Mike Freeman
Sent: Sunday, September 08, 2013 3:13 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List
Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness

All:
I met my wife online. It was not a Christian dating service. She is sighted.
IMHO the vision or lack thereof of one's date is irrelevant.
Mike freeman

On Sep 8, 2013, at 12:35, "justin williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
wrote:

> I'm just lightening up the thread a little.  But seriously, our not 
> getting
> as many opportunities is not our falt, buut the folt of those individuals
> who do not accept us.  However, since we are the ones who will not have a
> date on Friday night, it falls to us to give ourselves a better chance.
> That's why I really believe that using an interest group or something to
> bridge the gap makes it easier.  I say to try online only because everyone
> is looking for the same thing, and there is an abundance of singles.  I
> didn't have much luck, but it should still be an option.  Most of us have
> experienced rejection solely because the other person wouldn't give us a
> chance, or was talked out of it by their friends and family.  If it has
> never happed tto you, then I am happy for your success and wouldn't wish 
> for
> you to experience what I and most of the others who have posted on this
> thread have. While you are waiting for her, do some work on yourself 
> through
> reading and personal development.  That is a bigg help, because when you 
> get
> your shot, you have to be spot on.  The way we do things for us is 
> natural,
> but for folks who are sighted, it is something they can't imagine.  Try
> reading books on love and relationships; that will give you an edge that 
> the
> average person won't have.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Mark 
> Tardif
> Sent: Sunday, September 08, 2013 3:18 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness
>
> For several reasons, yes.  First, we are blind, (bad joke but pretend it
> isn't) and, in fact, that can be an integral part of getting to know that
> other person, especially if it is just the two of you and it is your first
> date together.
>
>
>
> Mark Tardif
> Nuclear arms will not hold you.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: justin williams
> Sent: Sunday, September 08, 2013 9:55 AM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness
>
> Isn't any date we go on a blind date?
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blindtlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Julie J.
> Sent: Sunday, September 08, 2013 9:04 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Blindness and Singleness
>
> There's been a lot of really good advice already.  I just wanted to add in
> one more possibility for you.
>
> I met my current husband on a blind date.  Yes, I hear you all laughing, 
> but
> it's true!  A good friend of mine was convinced that I should meet this 
> guy.
>
> I was resistant.  I wasn't too interested in dating at the time but she 
> was
> very persistent that I meet him.  In the end she invited me to go out for
> the evening with her, once I agreed, she casually mentioned that he was
> coming too.   Not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, I decided to go along
> and just have fun.  That was 11 years ago now.
>
> Have you mentioned to your friends/family that you are interested in 
> dating?
>
> Perhaps someone knows someone who is also looking for a partner and would 
> be
> willing to introduce you.  The first date could be with both couples, 
> which
> I think takes some of the stress off.  With four people someone always has
> something to say, so I never felt those awkward pauses in the 
> conversation.
>
> Does your church have a singles group? or a college group?  Those might 
> also
> be places to meet people.
>
> I guess my point is that you don't have to go it alone.  there are people
> who would be happy to help you meet people or point you in a direction. Be
>
> clear with what you want and don't be afraid to let others know.
>
> Julie
>
>
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