[Blindtlk] Just Venting!

Sat May 30 00:43:33 UTC 2015

Oh yeah and to listen to live streaming of conventions when I am
unable to attend and podcasts otherwise.

Danielle

On 5/29/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
> I'm alright but I have had it! I just wanna leave. No more games, no
> more appeasements, no more peacekeeping efforts on my part, no more
> acting like it's all okay because it's not. Just wanna be on my own
> again
> ! I don't need help if it's not the way I need it! I'll be able to
> recover easier once I'm in charge of my own life in my own space.
>
> Alanna, yeah I know I have my own issues to resolve and that is why I
> write albeit usually in my space. Problem is, all my spaces keep
> getting taken away with computers always never functioning properly in
> this way or that. Somebody is repeatedly breaking into my computers
> and everybody else act like either they don't know who it is and
> refuse to make them stop or report them, or it does NOT matter because
> they all have Apple phones and Androids and don't seem to EVER get
> targeted. Frankly, I wwent to post brief ness on FB about it only to
> find FB is acting up and I can't post. The rest of my blind friends
> don't have these repeated computer problems and it is too the point
> where Windows has even gotten restricted in some places like I can't
> even access the start menu and I just paid $345 less than a month ago
> to fix this computer, $219 the month before to fix a desktop but I
> have no speech on it right now or place to set it up, and I have one
> more yet to go. I had to use MS Office on one that was zapped and
> suddenly couldn't get on the Internet after I just bought a wireless
> Hot Spot card. It wasn't accessible for me and luckily the company
> discontinued it for me. I thought once they switched providers over
> hear all this would stop. Now I have to decide to buy another battery
> and charger for it or try to get Office Depot to put MS Office 2013 on
> this one, which I bought and is supposedly on that desktop. You know
> now it don't come on a CD-rom but a card with download instructions.
> Who can do much of anything without a word processor? This delays me
> though and I lost months and months of work wich I won't be able to
> retrieve unless I spend money on a battery and charger for a dinosaur
> as they say which is only 8 years old but totally in working order
> until........one fateful day.....today. They suddenl froze up and went
> black after I tried to make changes to NVDA. That's not including the
> $100 in transportation costs to drop off and retrieve them. Anyway I
> end up losing everything I have saved to the hard drives because it's
> always an Optimize and Restore order. Makes me wonder if their isn't a
> key of mine giving access to my computer out there. It all started
> once I divorced my ex and gradually got worse. Rather, he filed for
> divorce 5 years ago and made out like a bandit. That old you can't
> prove it cause your blind bit. Not passing blame but I can't figure
> where this is originating and want it to stop! These are not fun games
> to be playing with me. I don't know how I could possibly be safe by
> being shut down. It's gambling. Why do I need a computer? Simply put,
> to function. Communicate with the outside world, to get information,
> to job hunt, read mail, pay bills, for entertainment as in plaing fun,
> free harmless games for worthless points, to learn, work, keep up with
> latest trends inside and outside of the blindness community, get
> addresses so I can plan my cab trips, look up spellings of certain
> words and anames, keep up with my children, shop, etc. It's just
> senseless violence and passive aggression. I do agree about the
> individual and family therapy but that likely will never happened
> because black folk don't believe in getting counseling. Actually, I
> was in therapy when I was in the city. Thanks for the prayers, hug and
> love.
>
> Danielle
>
>
>
>
> On 5/29/15, River Linda via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> Danielle,
>> Big hug and love to you.
>>
>> On Friday, May 29, 2015, Ray Foret Jr via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Well, Danielle, it sounds to me like you've had this huge pile-on
>>> building
>>> and building and building up for quite a while now.  Frankly, it seems
>>> to
>>> me like there are a number of unresolved issues between you and your
>>> family:  but, the long and the short of it feels like this.  You are
>>> totally blind, and, your family, despite your best efforts, doesn't
>>> really
>>> think of you as even a normal person but just some pitiful poor blind
>>> girl
>>> to be looked after and pitied and felt sorry for and not let do
>>> anything.
>>> Some sighted people feel this way too, believe it or not.  So, it's not
>>> necessarily a blindness thing:  but, in your case, and given the context
>>> of
>>> your remarks, it sure sounds like that in your case, it might be
>>> blindness
>>> caused.  It also seems to me that you haven't just sat there and let it
>>> build up:  but rather, that you have made every effort after effort to
>>> make
>>> a difference:  but now, most recently, something has happened that has
>>> caused you either to snap or else feel like you want to.  Have I figured
>>> it
>>> out about right?  Danelle, I wish I had a specific answer to all the
>>> things
>>> you say:  but, I suspect that some of the blind women on this list might
>>> be
>>> able to help you better with the specific items you list off.  I merely
>>> enter here because I am concerned, and wanted to lend what moral support
>>> I
>>> can to a fellow blind person who, it seems to me, is on the edge of
>>> breaking.
>>>
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>> The Constantly Barefooted Ray
>>>
>>> Still a happy Mac, Verizon Wireless iPhone 6+ and Apple TV user!
>>>
>>> Sent from my Mac,
>>> the only computer with full accessibility for the blind built-in
>>>
>>> > On May 29, 2015, at 2:22 PM, Danielle Antoine via blindtlk <
>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org <javascript:;>> wrote:
>>> >
>>> > I just cannot stand it when somebody say you can do something then let
>>> > somebody else do it or just prevent you from doing so. Most often,
>>> > it's always what I'm doing. Like for instance, my brother and sister
>>> > didn't have jobs wasn't looking for jobs until I started. Well bless
>>> > God Hallallujah, thank you Jesus, they both got jobs while I'm still
>>> > sitting at home. In fact, it cost me more because they have
>>> > transporation and drive whereas, I don't have those luxuries and where
>>> > Im located it's really not feasible for me to work even if I was in
>>> > optimal health. Anyway, my sister followed through with the apps I got
>>> > for her and my brother didn't and my mom allowed it; they both got
>>> > hired through someone else's efforts in the end. I hoe they keep their
>>> > jobs this time! They both are lucky and have no problems getting hired
>>> > with minimal effort! I have a lot of time on my hands so can devote to
>>> > a few mmindless things that don't require me to think so hard or use
>>> > much energy. So, why all this unnecessary stress and aggravation. For
>>> > my blind parents, how do you go about picking baby gear on your own? I
>>> > lost my babies oh about a couple of months ago and my other prior
>>> > three children live with their father. but I had gotten the okay from
>>> > a couple of friends prior to all this to document pattern descriptions
>>> > and everytime I start I can never get very far do to computer
>>> > breakage, stealing of software, hacking and such through no fault of
>>> > my own. As we all know, our technology is expensive and can not easily
>>> > be replaced in a day or so. Even whene we fix one thing such as the
>>> > laptop or desktop, we still need to install a screen reader, and now
>>> > MS Office since it is now not standard and if you have scanning
>>> > software so it is not off the shelf ready to rock and roll. I am on
>>> > SSI only. Believe me, this has to be somebody sighted who wouldn't
>>> > want this job if they had it but I am happy to do it. I really started
>>> > doing this out of sheer frustration. Since my niece came along, the
>>> > adults in her life started buying everything with like characters and
>>> > such when it would've made mor sense for them to buy colored stuff.
>>> > Like for real people! They can see things like, tangerine, gold,
>>> > Everest, purple, onyx, Paisley, Fuschia, Bromley, Go Green, Cameron,
>>> > Saturn, Cowmooflage  and such like that. I mean, really what does that
>>> > mean to a total who has never seen colors or seen them clear enough in
>>> > their life? Those are just examples of pattern names And colors which
>>> > they can esily coordinate accordingly rather than snatching up any and
>>> > everything. My sister knew she was having  a girl and instead she got
>>> > neutral stuff as well. what ever happened to commonsense, courtesy,
>>> > consideration, feelings, and boundaries? My mom denied my pregnancy
>>> > though so I hope she is happy with my loss on top of me being unable
>>> > to honor the visitation agreement with my children since she and my ex
>>> > have serious beef! I should also mention ther have been about 10
>>> > babies in total born since she has and that is what so angers me even
>>> > more. Also, most of her things relate back to my own teenage and
>>> > preteen's likes. In fact, my mom bought the exact same car seat I had
>>> > bought for my first son with a zoo theme! I should say that my sister
>>> > was in jail but she knew what she was having before she went in and
>>> > did not prepare. So about a month before my niece's arrival I started
>>> > looking at gear and stuff for her. I had planned to buy everything she
>>> > needed since I had saved a little money up, to take the worry from her
>>> > and my mom who I was sure going fo likely get her and at the time was
>>> > talking about moving to where we are now with more space for my
>>> > sisters kids. Of course, I was looking at sex appropriate things for
>>> > her from the diaper bag to the crib to a few toys and washcloths. I
>>> > figure when its coming out of someone else's pocket it shouldn't
>>> > matter thow much it cost since you didn't have nothing anyway. At that
>>> > time, I wasn't expecting.
>>> >
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>