[Blindtlk] Just Venting!
Cindy Ray
cindyray at gmail.com
Sat May 30 23:54:20 UTC 2015
Dnielle, maybe you should actually visit with the Louisiana Center about how
you might justify it. Also, don't just go after every little thing. I have
not read all of this, but what does your heart want to do? Have you
investigated the feasibility of it?
Cindy
So when you say agency for the blind I am assuming you mean Voc Rehab.
Been there done that. I got a Bachelorthen was working on a Master's when it
all fell apart. I could continue though after further review of the program
I realized I was probably in the wrong program like there is a difference
between M. Ed. and M.A. Anyway, I have forgotten why I chose that and what
it actually is good for. Went back to them for another bachelor and also to
buy some time to get myselftogether and work on paying some student loans
but they didn't pursue. I could try the BEP program which my ex used to do
and it seems everyone feels that is a good fit for me but it isn't and I
fear yet another failure beyond my control. I would stay at Affiliated Blind
of Louisiana (ABL) for that. I would be alright workingfor someone already
in the program though since I had some experience before. How do I find that
out thougheven though THAT IS NOT my cup of tea.
I get the impression though that once more and again we are back to being
led toward certain acceptable programs like BEP and VOC Rehab.
Why does the agency do that and why do we have to go along with it? Of
course, VR counseling is an option, but I know sighted folk definitely get
hired in that role without a qualifying Masters degree. I got 5 on it I
couldn't though. And yes, I been through the STEp program at LCB but don't
know how to justify going through the Adult Program.
Thanks Everyone,
Danielle
P.S. And with all this constant hacking I'm experiencing, I am led to think
someone might be in need of training but unable or more likely unwilling to
go somewhere and doing something about me so it is easier to harass and
shush me to cover up. I could be wrong though. Just my thoughtful quiet
observation. That or I'm just the wrong target in a whole lot of confusion.
On 5/30/15, Ray Foret Jr via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Danielle,
>
> Are you in Louisiana? Perhaps as a first real step, you might want to
> give Pam Alan a call. You'll be calling the Louisiana Center for the
blind.
> Call this number:
> 800-234-4166
>
> I offer this in an effort to actually be substantively helpful. Now,
> maybe you don't need the adult training program like what I went
> through, but, perhaps Pam can better direct you to help on a more
effective basis.
>
>
> Sincerely,
> The Constantly Barefooted Ray
>
> Still a happy Mac, Verizon Wireless iPhone 6+ and Apple TV user!
>
> Sent from my Mac,
> the only computer with full accessibility for the blind built-in
>
>> On May 30, 2015, at 3:14 PM, Danielle Antoine via blindtlk
>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> right on point Ray. My only other options are go to a shelter or try
>> school again I don't know wwho could be in such need as to ruin one
>> person's life in particular? I unfortunately have never lied to the
>> government.I don't know how a person could trump their nees over
>> innocent children. Young innocent and even a person's unborn children.
>> How is that conscionable and all-around excusable?
>>
>> Quite frankly, I feel like me and my children have been, in effect,
>> murdered! What's funny, fun, cool and all alright about that? The
>> only reason I have written so poignantly hear is to save face for
>> those who just might be innocent and frankly, I have no where else to
>> find support since I am not involved in civil rights activism and I
>> seem to get abandoned and attacked or silenced elsewhere and just to
>> try and keep reasonably well I share in hope it REALLY WILL bring
>> true, meaningful help for ME as well as shine light on an ongoing
>> problem which I KNOW is drastically affecting others. Maybe someone
>> WILL have the CORRECT solution to stop this madness.
>>
>> Danielle
>> P.S Sad when it feels like there is no help in sight or available to
>> you and you alone.
>>
>> On 5/30/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> I'll keep trying with the government help.
>>>
>>> On 5/30/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Mostly out here, if you don't drive your option is a cab if not
>>>> family and friends. Pretty much everybody works around here and
>>>> it's about 20 minutes to town so I am on my own. The places I have
>>>> lived with family and friends since the divorce have been rural so
>>>> transportation is always an issue. Even checking the papes most of
>>>> the places available to rent appear to be rural and you need first
>>>> month's rent and deposit. I could get that in a couple of monts or
>>>> four time but then I have to have extra to sustain. Any ideas?I
>>>> guess I'll keep trying w
>>>>
>>>> On 5/30/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> Continuing on. Excuse the typos and lack of punctuation the last
>>>>> message. NVDa went somewhere else and was silent whenever I would
>>>>> arrowup, down, left or right so couldn't correct. So what I would
>>>>> need is continuous, dependable cash, support, my own children
>>>>> tliving with me, fully functioning dependable technology, and
>>>>> dependable transportation that wouldn't cost me so much and a lack
>>>>> of negative interference and lies.
>>>>>
>>>>> Danielle
>>>>> P.S I have beneifted from the government phone as well in the
>>>>> past. I now still have a prepaid phone.
>>>>>
>>>>> On 5/30/15, Danielle Antoine <singingmywayin at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> Oh and thanks Ray. You know but it seems even everybody is to
>>>>>> the point of breaking How convenient. It is all a big act erm,
>>>>>> race competition to see who can receive help or the most helpor
>>>>>> and recognition or to get out of wrongdoing. You know like
>>>>>> verybody wanna plead insanity toget out of making restitution for
>>>>>> wrongdoing and pass the blame and responsibility to others no
>>>>>> apologies necessary. That's what it all seems like to me. I am
>>>>>> done leading with my heart! People are quick to take advantage
>>>>>> that way. Peaople who really needhelp can't get it because
>>>>>> somebody else who don't has beat them to the punch.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Judy, the answer is no. I had a plan and was working towards
>>>>>> independence again and that got shot to hell. I mean after I got
>>>>>> on SSI, I applied for Food Stamps which I had until the courts
>>>>>> gave custody to my ex. Then, instead of decreasing me they
>>>>>> automatically cut me off.
>>>>>> Meanwhile, I had applied for, with the help of my sister and got
>>>>>> a job substitute teaching but didn't have ransportation going
>>>>>> back and forth, was living with another friend for a while but
>>>>>> wsh suddenly acted like I was a burden before I ever got another
>>>>>> call. I missed the first call because I had a prepaid phone and
>>>>>> didn't have any minutes on the phone when the call came through.
>>>>>> While living with that friend I got a list of low--income housing
>>>>>> and went down the list for a second time and applied to all the
>>>>>> apartments I could, but only got responses from one particular
>>>>>> complex in my mother's name. I corrected the letter and told them
>>>>>> yes I was interested and never heard from them again. Mind you I
>>>>>> said second time because the first time I had done this when I
>>>>>> had my kids with me and I also had gotten a housing voucher. I
>>>>>> ended up losing my voucher because I had to move from my aunt's
>>>>>> house since my ex would not follow the visitation rules and would
>>>>>> pick up the children from school and drop them off periodically
>>>>>> and my aunt became scared which lead to falling out. Now when I
>>>>>> checked the last time the housing voucher list is closed as usual
>>>>>> as it was in Baton rouge when I left. I have put in some
>>>>>> applications at a nursing home here, a grocery store, the movie
>>>>>> theater, and the school system as a bus assistant but haven't
>>>>>> heard from them which I am not necessarily complaining about at
>>>>>> this point because I have stiff joints and fatigue often but I
>>>>>> don't have enough money saved up to travel everyday. My plan was
>>>>>> to try and put an ad in the paper for a driver if I got called
>>>>>> for interview I could do the bus assistant because they would be
>>>>>> able to puck me up. I had an app for Teacher Assistant as we
>>>>>> which would work with the bus but that was stolen twice. So, at
>>>>>> this point I am broke and broken
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Danielle
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 5/30/15, Carly Mihalakis via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>>>> Good morning, Danielle,
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> What a racket!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Seems to me, you could be far too invested in, as I like to
>>>>>>> think of them, have been within my own experience, those animate
>>>>>>> paper weights every body seems so edgy over. What has worked for
>>>>>>> me is to utilize the comput for all the things you named I.E.
>>>>>>> getting travel instructions and relevant spellings, restaurant
>>>>>>> menus E-mail and the like but for me, no social media, no games,
>>>>>>> only cursory internet searches but I believe people particularly
>>>>>>> blind people are duped into believing they need all this shit
>>>>>>> when, if you just try letting the stuff you don't absolutely
>>>>>>> need, such as social media, go until such time that you come to
>>>>>>> terms with your relationship with the role of tech within your
>>>>>>> personal experience?
>>>>>>> Of course, this is what has worked for me, you might be like a
>>>>>>> really dedicated social mediite?
>>>>>>> Car
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> 11 PM 5/29/2015, Judy Jones via blindtlk wrote:
>>>>>>>> What would it take for you to get out on your own. Have you
>>>>>>>> developed a step by step plan?
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Judy
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> -----Original Message----- From: Danielle Antoine via blindtlk
>>>>>>>> Sent: Friday, May 29, 2015 5:32 PM
>>>>>>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>>>>>>>> Cc: Danielle Antoine
>>>>>>>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] Just Venting!
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I'm alright but I have had it! I just wanna leave. No more
>>>>>>>> games, no more appeasements, no more peacekeeping efforts on my
>>>>>>>> part, no more acting like it's all okay because it's not. Just
>>>>>>>> wanna be on my own again ! I don't need help if it's not the
>>>>>>>> way I need it! I'll be able to recover easier once I'm in
>>>>>>>> charge of my own life in my own space.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Alanna, yeah I know I have my own issues to resolve and that is
>>>>>>>> why I write albeit usually in my space. Problem is, all my
>>>>>>>> spaces keep getting taken away with computers always never
>>>>>>>> functioning properly in this way or that. Somebody is
>>>>>>>> repeatedly breaking into my computers and everybody else act
>>>>>>>> like either they don't know who it is and refuse to make them
>>>>>>>> stop or report them, or it does NOT matter because they all
>>>>>>>> have Apple phones and Androids and don't seem to EVER get
>>>>>>>> targeted. Frankly, I wwent to post brief ness on FB about it
>>>>>>>> only to find FB is acting up and I can't post. The rest of my
>>>>>>>> blind friends don't have these repeated computer problems and
>>>>>>>> it is too the point where Windows has even gotten restricted in
>>>>>>>> some places like I can't even access the start menu and I just
>>>>>>>> paid $345 less than a month ago to fix this computer, $219 the
>>>>>>>> month before to fix a desktop but I have no speech on it right
>>>>>>>> now or place to set it up, and I have one more yet to go. I had
>>>>>>>> to use MS Office on one that was zapped and suddenly couldn't
>>>>>>>> get on the Internet after I just bought a wireless Hot Spot
>>>>>>>> card. It wasn't accessible for me and luckily the company
>>>>>>>> discontinued it for me. I thought once they switched providers
>>>>>>>> over hear all this would stop. Now I have to decide to buy
>>>>>>>> another battery and charger for it or try to get Office Depot
>>>>>>>> to put MS Office 2013 on this one, which I bought and is
>>>>>>>> supposedly on that desktop. You know now it don't come on a
>>>>>>>> CD-rom but a card with download instructions.
>>>>>>>> Who can do much of anything without a word processor? This
>>>>>>>> delays me though and I lost months and months of work wich I
>>>>>>>> won't be able to retrieve unless I spend money on a battery and
>>>>>>>> charger for a dinosaur as they say which is only 8 years old
>>>>>>>> but totally in working order until........one fateful
>>>>>>>> day.....today. They suddenl froze up and went black after I
>>>>>>>> tried to make changes to NVDA. That's not including the
>>>>>>>> $100 in transportation costs to drop off and retrieve them.
>>>>>>>> Anyway I end up losing everything I have saved to the hard
>>>>>>>> drives because it's always an Optimize and Restore order. Makes
>>>>>>>> me wonder if their isn't a key of mine giving access to my
>>>>>>>> computer out there. It all started once I divorced my ex and
>>>>>>>> gradually got worse. Rather, he filed for divorce 5 years ago
>>>>>>>> and made out like a bandit. That old you can't prove it cause
>>>>>>>> your blind bit. Not passing blame but I can't figure where this
>>>>>>>> is originating and want it to stop! These are not fun games to
>>>>>>>> be playing with me. I don't know how I could possibly be safe
>>>>>>>> by being shut down. It's gambling. Why do I need a computer?
>>>>>>>> Simply put, to function. Communicate with the outside world, to
>>>>>>>> get information, to job hunt, read mail, pay bills, for
>>>>>>>> entertainment as in plaing fun, free harmless games for
>>>>>>>> worthless points, to learn, work, keep up with latest trends
>>>>>>>> inside and outside of the blindness community, get addresses so
>>>>>>>> I can plan my cab trips, look up spellings of certain words and
>>>>>>>> anames, keep up with my children, shop, etc. It's just
>>>>>>>> senseless violence and passive aggression. I do agree about the
>>>>>>>> individual and family therapy but that likely will never
>>>>>>>> happened because black folk don't believe in getting
>>>>>>>> counseling. Actually, I was in therapy when I was in the city.
>>>>>>>> Thanks for the prayers, hug and love.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Danielle
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> On 5/29/15, River Linda via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>>>>>>>> Danielle,
>>>>>>>>> Big hug and love to you.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> On Friday, May 29, 2015, Ray Foret Jr via blindtlk
>>>>>>>>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Well, Danielle, it sounds to me like you've had this huge
>>>>>>>>>> pile-on building and building and building up for quite a
>>>>>>>>>> while now. Frankly, it seems to me like there are a number
>>>>>>>>>> of unresolved issues between you and your
>>>>>>>>>> family: but, the long and the short of it feels like this.
>>>>>>>>>> You are totally blind, and, your family, despite your best
>>>>>>>>>> efforts, doesn't really think of you as even a normal person
>>>>>>>>>> but just some pitiful poor blind girl to be looked after and
>>>>>>>>>> pitied and felt sorry for and not let do anything.
>>>>>>>>>> Some sighted people feel this way too, believe it or not.
>>>>>>>>>> So, it's not necessarily a blindness thing: but, in your
>>>>>>>>>> case, and given the context of your remarks, it sure sounds
>>>>>>>>>> like that in your case, it might be blindness caused. It
>>>>>>>>>> also seems to me that you haven't just sat there and let it
>>>>>>>>>> build up: but rather, that you have made every effort after
>>>>>>>>>> effort to make a difference: but now, most recently,
>>>>>>>>>> something has happened that has caused you either to snap or
>>>>>>>>>> else feel like you want to. Have I figured it out about
>>>>>>>>>> right? Danelle, I wish I had a specific answer to all the
>>>>>>>>>> things you say: but, I suspect that some of the blind women
>>>>>>>>>> on this list might be able to help you better with the
>>>>>>>>>> specific items you list off. I merely enter here because I
>>>>>>>>>> am concerned, and wanted to lend what moral support I can to
>>>>>>>>>> a fellow blind person who, it seems to me, is on the edge of
>>>>>>>>>> breaking.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Sincerely,
>>>>>>>>>> The Constantly Barefooted Ray
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Still a happy Mac, Verizon Wireless iPhone 6+ and Apple TV user!
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Sent from my Mac,
>>>>>>>>>> the only computer with full accessibility for the blind
>>>>>>>>>> built-in
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> On May 29, 2015, at 2:22 PM, Danielle Antoine via blindtlk <
>>>>>>>>>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org <javascript:;>> wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> I just cannot stand it when somebody say you can do
>>>>>>>>>>> something then let somebody else do it or just prevent you
>>>>>>>>>>> from doing so. Most often, it's always what I'm doing. Like
>>>>>>>>>>> for instance, my brother and sister didn't have jobs wasn't
>>>>>>>>>>> looking for jobs until I started. Well bless God
>>>>>>>>>>> Hallallujah, thank you Jesus, they both got jobs while I'm
>>>>>>>>>>> still sitting at home. In fact, it cost me more because they
>>>>>>>>>>> have transporation and drive whereas, I don't have those
>>>>>>>>>>> luxuries and where Im located it's really not feasible for
>>>>>>>>>>> me to work even if I was in optimal health. Anyway, my
>>>>>>>>>>> sister followed through with the apps I got for her and my
>>>>>>>>>>> brother didn't and my mom allowed it; they both got hired
>>>>>>>>>>> through someone else's efforts in the end. I hoe they keep
>>>>>>>>>>> their jobs this time! They both are lucky and have no
>>>>>>>>>>> problems getting hired with minimal effort! I have a lot of
>>>>>>>>>>> time on my hands so can devote to a few mmindless things
>>>>>>>>>>> that don't require me to think so hard or use much energy.
>>>>>>>>>>> So, why all this unnecessary stress and aggravation.
>>>>>>>>>>> For
>>>>>>>>>>> my blind parents, how do you go about picking baby gear on
>>>>>>>>>>> your own?
>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>> lost my babies oh about a couple of months ago and my other
>>>>>>>>>>> prior three children live with their father. but I had
>>>>>>>>>>> gotten the okay from a couple of friends prior to all this
>>>>>>>>>>> to document pattern descriptions and everytime I start I can
>>>>>>>>>>> never get very far do to computer breakage, stealing of
>>>>>>>>>>> software, hacking and such through no fault of my own. As we
>>>>>>>>>>> all know, our technology is expensive and can not easily be
>>>>>>>>>>> replaced in a day or so. Even whene we fix one thing such as
>>>>>>>>>>> the laptop or desktop, we still need to install a screen
>>>>>>>>>>> reader, and now MS Office since it is now not standard and
>>>>>>>>>>> if you have scanning software so it is not off the shelf
>>>>>>>>>>> ready to rock and roll. I am on SSI only. Believe me, this
>>>>>>>>>>> has to be somebody sighted who wouldn't want this job if
>>>>>>>>>>> they had it but I am happy to do it. I really started doing
>>>>>>>>>>> this out of sheer frustration. Since my niece came along,
>>>>>>>>>>> the adults in her life started buying everything with like
>>>>>>>>>>> characters and such when it would've made mor sense for them
>>>>>>>>>>> to buy colored stuff.
>>>>>>>>>>> Like for real people! They can see things like, tangerine,
>>>>>>>>>>> gold, Everest, purple, onyx, Paisley, Fuschia, Bromley, Go
>>>>>>>>>>> Green, Cameron, Saturn, Cowmooflage and such like that. I
>>>>>>>>>>> mean, really what does that mean to a total who has never
>>>>>>>>>>> seen colors or seen them clear enough in their life? Those
>>>>>>>>>>> are just examples of pattern names And colors which they can
>>>>>>>>>>> esily coordinate accordingly rather than snatching up any
>>>>>>>>>>> and everything. My sister knew she was having a girl and
>>>>>>>>>>> instead she got neutral stuff as well. what ever happened to
>>>>>>>>>>> commonsense, courtesy, consideration, feelings, and
>>>>>>>>>>> boundaries? My mom denied my pregnancy though so I hope she
>>>>>>>>>>> is happy with my loss on top of me being unable to honor the
>>>>>>>>>>> visitation agreement with my children since she and my ex
>>>>>>>>>>> have serious beef! I should also mention ther have been
>>>>>>>>>>> about 10 babies in total born since she has and that is what
>>>>>>>>>>> so angers me even more. Also, most of her things relate back
>>>>>>>>>>> to my own teenage and preteen's likes. In fact, my mom
>>>>>>>>>>> bought the exact same car seat I had bought for my first son
>>>>>>>>>>> with a zoo theme! I should say that my sister was in jail
>>>>>>>>>>> but she knew what she was having before she went in and did
>>>>>>>>>>> not prepare. So about a month before my niece's arrival I
>>>>>>>>>>> started looking at gear and stuff for her. I had planned to
>>>>>>>>>>> buy everything she needed since I had saved a little money
>>>>>>>>>>> up, to take the worry from her and my mom who I was sure
>>>>>>>>>>> going fo likely get her and at the time was talking about
>>>>>>>>>>> moving to where we are now with more space for my sisters
>>>>>>>>>>> kids. Of course, I was looking at sex appropriate things for
>>>>>>>>>>> her from the diaper bag to the crib to a few toys and
>>>>>>>>>>> washcloths.
>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>> figure when its coming out of someone else's pocket it
>>>>>>>>>>> shouldn't matter thow much it cost since you didn't have nothing
anyway.
>>>>>>>>>>> At
>>>>>>>>>>> that
>>>>>>>>>>> time, I wasn't expecting.
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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