[Blindtlk] An Update on my Independence

Tue Oct 13 00:13:52 UTC 2015

Agreed. The situation can be a lot tougher for those of us who grew up
blind because we have often encountered a lifetime of "can't" messages
not only from family but from well-meaning teachers, neighbors,
babysiters, friends etc. Before the age of adulthood, it can be very
hard to stand up to those who are officially in charge of your life as
your parents and guardians. Even after adulthood commences and you are
considered old enough to make your own choices, old habits and
dynamics can be hard to change.
Further, when we grow up blind, we need to interact hands-on with
things in order to learn how they work instead of just watching. So if
we were over-protected in childhood or simply not given opportunities
to do things in a hands-on way, we can often experience knowledge gaps
that can interfere with independence.
I still remember how excited I was when at the age of 13, I purchased
my own pack of Oreos from a vending machine for the first time. I was
at a summer writing camp in a university building, and I navigated two
floors downstairs by myself to find the vending machine and purchase
the snack. Before then, I had never been allowed to move around by
myself anywhere other than my very familiar home and school campus.
Mentoring is definitely important. I also think that for many of us,
moving out of one's parents' home is the best thing for cultivating
adult independence. There are many barriers to that step for some
people, whether financial or due to family dynamics. I was fortunate
that the expectation for me to go away to college helped me get out of
my parent's home when I was 18.
Arielle

On 10/12/15, Cindy Ray via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Sandra, there is no easy answer to the questions you ask, but really, you
> should not set Roanna up as an example. Some people don’t have the courage
> you do. Some people, particularly, people who were always blind, were over
> protected and have not had these opportunities. You had always done things
> on your own when you lost your sight; therefore, you would be likely to
> strive to get back that independence. There are some people who have never
> imagined having the dream to succeed because they have been told for so long
> that they cannot. It is sad and also difficult to understand, so we need to
> look upon such folks as people to cheer on when they are able to order their
> lunch. There are some mentoring programs, but sometimes people are held back
> by families even to touch base with them. Some of the rehab programs are not
> what they could be. This is not an easy road for people with road blocks. So
> why not ask her if there are any ways in which you could help her.
> Cindy
>
>> On Oct 12, 2015, at 10:47 AM, S L Johnson via blindtlk
>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> Roanna:
>>
>> I've seen your posts before.  I am glad you are striving to gain
>> independence.  I'll have to admit that I do not understand.  What is so
>> hard
>> about ordering and paying for your own lunch?  Have you been so
>> over-protected that you were never given the chance to do these things for
>>
>> yourself?  I lost my sight at age 17.  I taught myself to read Braille
>> while
>> recovering from the failed surgery.  After just a few lessons from an O&M
>> instructor, I immediately began traveling independently with a cane and
>> finished my junior and senior years of high school then went on to
>> college.
>> I am not sure why you did not have that same of independence.  I've never
>> attended any kind of rehab center or training since loosing my sight.  Is
>> it
>> common for people to struggle so much to become independent?  Is it fear
>> that prevents someone from learning the skills that are necessary to be a
>> functional blind person?  If so, what can be done to make sure all blind
>> people can gain their independence after loosing sight?  My family tried
>> to
>> stop me but, I stood up to them.  Is it a problem of families being too
>> over-protective and not letting the blind person do anything by
>> themselves?
>> If so, then obviously some families need to be given more information
>> about
>> how blind people can lead productive independent lives.  Is there any kind
>>
>> of mentoring programs where those of us who have gone through loosing
>> sight
>> and become independent can help others adjust to their vision loss?  This
>> topic has always bothered me because being independent was never a problem
>>
>> for me and I truly don't understand why it is a problem for other people.
>>
>> Sandra
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: River Linda via blindtlk
>> Sent: Sunday, October 11, 2015 6:31 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List
>> Cc: River Linda
>> Subject: Re: [Blindtlk] An Update on my Independence
>>
>> Hi Roanna,
>>
>> That is great. I am following your updates because it is inspirational to
>> me. One day I will get the courage to do the same things you are doing.
>> God
>> bless!
>>
>> On Sunday, October 11, 2015, Roanna Bacchus via blindtlk <
>> blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>>> Dear Members,
>>>
>>> I just wanted to give you an update on my independence.  Two weeks ago I
>>> found my way from the parking lot to the UCF library.  I also ordered and
>>> paid for my lunch at the cafe.  These are small steps toward improving my
>>> independence.
>>>
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>
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