[Blindtlk] Having a Problem...

[Ericka]

Hi Kerri.

You have already been given some good advice. My ex-husband who is totally cited struggle with the same problems until he got diagnosed with sleep apnea. Sleep apnea isn't his only problem, but once that was diagnosed he was on his way to feeling better. For you perhaps it's a combination of things and not non/24 but until you go to the doctor and share your complete frustration as you did with us will you know for certain. I don't know if you are a tea drinker, but there are some sleep inducing tease with velarium root in them. This work for me when I was trying to write my time clock as well as the melatonin. The stuff you buy at Walgreens I don't think is as potent as some of the stuff from the health food stores. You might want to check things out or get recommendations from a friend who purchases things at GNC etc. also you might want to talk to your medical professional about getting some help with the depression. It may be something temporary and maybe not. There's no shame in taking an antidepressant to get yourself reacclimated and think things through. It's not something anyone needs to take long-term unless it's something else. I think you're just frustrated with your current situation which I well understand. Changing your situation can be overwhelming. I know you want to be a sports writer and I'm sure you will. Things just take time and if you're like me you're just not patient anymore. Enjoy the baby steps and take care of yourself. 

Ericka Short
"What is right is not always popular; what is popular is not always right."

 from my iPhone

> On Feb 27, 2016, at 9:17 PM, Kerri Kosten via blindtlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Hi Everyone:
> First, I am very very ashamed and embarrassed to admit this, so please
> no judgment for this message.
> I am really really struggling with wanting to sleep all day and
> staying awake all night. No matter what I try to do though, I can't
> seem to fight it.
> For example, on Wednesday, I woke up at 10 PM.
> I was wide awake the rest of the night. On Thursday morning at around
> 8 AM, I got up and went to my couch to watch TV.
> At 10, I sat on the floor and listened to one of my favorite radio shows.
> At noon, I again went to my couch and put on the radio.
> At around 2, I began to become exhausted.
> When I try to fight it and stay awake I become increasingly exhausted
> until I get a headache.
> Unable to take it, I usually end up laying back down and falling asleep.
> Here is the thing though. Even if I manage to stay up all day when it
> is time to go to sleep I am still wide wide awake all night and don't
> get tired until like 1 or 2 the next day so have to try to fight the
> whole thing all over again.
> I can't sleep at all at night, but if I try to stay up during the day
> when the world is awake my body fights me with everything it has.
> But when it's night I am wide awake.
> This is happening every day and is making me feel really ashamed and depressed.
> I read the thread on Non 24-7. I am a member of the NFB.
> Like everyone else on this list, I hate those commercials on the
> radio. It makes me very very ashamed that I struggle to get through
> the day like those commercials say.
> I don't want to ruin any blind persons chances of employment because
> an employer hears those messages on the radio and believes them. I
> myself want to fit into the sighted world. My passion is sports, and
> so I've always wanted to do something with sports media. I want to
> show blind people can do things. I don't want to give off the message
> we can't even stay up during the day.
> I also feel ashamed because I can't really get a job or go to school
> or anything if I can't even stay up during the day. Sure I'm awake all
> night, but if I sleep all day I feel so depressed I slept through the
> day, I have no motivation to do anything.
> Even as I type this, I'm really upset. I fell asleep today at 1 PM. I
> am a huge sports fan and my favorite team had a game at 6 PM. I'll
> admit, I forgot to set an alarm for 6 PM to wake myself up. Anyway, I
> ended up waking up at 8:30 PM and missing the entire game. I found out
> my team won, but this is the first time I've ever missed an entire
> game.
> Today is also my Mother's birthday. When I was still awake this
> morning at around 11, I called her but she was out so didn't answer.
> She tried to call me back at 1:25 PM and I totally missed her call
> because I was asleep. I of course got to talk to her when I woke up
> but now I'll feel horrible the rest of the night because I have been
> asleep all day, and I missed the entire game.
> And I'll be wide awake all night and tomorrow I'll get exhausted at
> around 1 PM again.
> And yet, when I determinedly try to fight this, my body battles me
> with everything it has until I give in.
> This is out of control!!
> Does anyone else struggle with this?
> Is there anything that works or do I have to go to the doctors and
> admit these stupid ads Vanda has on the radio are true at least for
> me?
> The world is already so much about sight...I don't want sleep to be
> about sight too!!
> How do others deal with these sleep issues?
> If I go to the doctors and say I get my nights and days mixed up will
> they automatically assume I have this non 24 thing and immediately
> contact Vanda no matter how much I protest?
> Is there any way to lessen the exhaustion or something enough to stay
> up the entire day so I can force my body to sleep at night?
> I don't know what to do...
> Thanks,
> Kerri
> 
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