[BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

Wed Nov 18 18:46:34 UTC 2020

I have a magic chef microwave, a nuwave oven (old) and a 46-ounce french
press along with a couple coffee grinders.  I had more earlier in life.

On Wed, 18 Nov 2020, Pamela Dominguez via BlindTlk wrote:

> Date: Wed, 18 Nov 2020 13:11:04
> From: Pamela Dominguez via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> I don't have any cool cookware, just regular cooking stuff.  Except I did buy
> a rice cooker.  Pam.
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Justin Williams via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 12:45 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Cc: Justin Williams
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> Yes, I agree.and macaroni, I'm just givine another tactic.
>
> I'm also short on all the cool cookware, but I get buy.
>
> Again, just another tactic.
>
> Stoves are cool.
>
>
> Justin
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Pamela
> Dominguez via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 12:32 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> But there are things that you need a stove for, as far as I know, like for
> instance, cooking a pot of spaghetti.  My friend's family is Italian, and she
> was never even allowed to learn to fill the pot with water and put it on to
> boil, put the macaroni in it, and stand over it stirring until it's done.
> Pam.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Justin Williams via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 10:34 AM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Cc: Justin Williams
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> I've  used the stove myself, and can do so when I want.  It's not my favorite
> thing to do.
> I love the oven!
>
> Love it!
> I use the crock pot, a blender, toaster, a bullet, and other kitchen
> appliances I bought for mixing health shakes.
> I can use the stove, but I find it more annoying then not because I'me not
> someone who wants to stand there and cook.
>
> But, I can do it.  I am willing to adjust my routeen to not have to, and I eat
> for health, but, I can do it.
>
> You can also by an instapot and or a toster oven to cook things as well.
>
> There are a lot of ways to do things independently.
>
> You don't have to use a stove, but you can and do so rather well if necessary.
>
> I 2012, a woman who was blind one shef of the year.
>
> Justin
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Pamela
> Dominguez via BlindTlk
> Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 10:23 AM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> Now, here's something I have never understood.  The friend I mentioned who was
> never allowed to learn how to use the stove or the oven, had a sister who was
> alive, then, who had a bad back.  Virginia had to get out the pans and bowls
> and stuff for her because her sister couldn't doo all the reaching and
> bending.  So,she had to get the stuff out, get the ingredients out, put the
> pan in the oven take the pan out of the oven.  I said to her:  "You've done
> everything but actually make the food."  When her sister was going into the
> hospital, she taught her brother how to make all the food, not Virginia.
> So now, her brother makes everything.  I remember she said, when their mother
> died,  "Now that she can't say anything about it, you can teach me
> how to cook."   Her sister said:  "No, just keep doing things the way you
> have been".  She can just make coffee, make sandwiches, use the toaster oven
> and the microwave that has a few markings on it.  And she didn't learn any of
> that stuff until they had to teach her because people started being sick, and
> not being able to be home, so she would be alone.  Not a good way to do stuff
> at all!  Pam.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Judy Jones via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 9:04 PM
> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
> Cc: Judy Jones
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> Hi, Ericka and Madison,
>
> My sister was older, but we had our chores.
>
> She went off to college when I was twelve, and we were living overseas.
>
> Mom also had a bad back, so I took on many of the chores around the house, and
> Dad took on the rest.
>
> Mom was healthy and in every other respect very capable, but couldn't strain
> the back, so I did any of the heavier lifting like carrying groceries from the
> car, mopping and buffing the kitchen floor and shared the vacuuming with dad.
>
> I also did the dusting and did windows, and around age sixteen, started doing
> a lot of the cooking, as mom went back to school.  From then on, we would
> always take turns cooking and cleaning up.
>
> Judy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Ericka via BlindTlk
> Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 5:03 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Ericka <dotwriter1 at gmail.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>
> I?m the oldest of three kids. And the only one with a disability. I was plenty
> responsible for my younger sisters. Every vacation break I was mom,
> housekeeper, entertainer and more. Once all three of us were in school
> Nighttime stories and putnighttime stories and put her to bed because I was
> willing to read the book she loved over and over plus I did voice is for the
> characters. mom went back to work. Three months was a long time to keep them
> from getting into trouble. I?m grateful my younger siblings are both girls.
> At least I didn?t have to do anything like change boys diapers. I did get to
> help with my sisters when they were babies. It was kind of cool to do that.
> My baby sister always loved it when I read
>
>
> Totally apologize if something went nuts here. My finger touch the screen and
> when you?re in mid dictate you don?t realize that he interfered. LOL
>
> apologize fo
> Ericka Nelson
>
> > On Nov 17, 2020, at 6:32 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk
> > <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> >
> > I didn't think you did. I never really had to help her with anything
> > though.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones
> > via BlindTlk
> > Sent: November 17, 2020 6:06 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > Correct, and I don't mean that at all negatively.
> >
> > I'm guessing with that age difference, you may have been responsible
> > for her at times when growing up.
> >
> > My sister is five-and-a-half years older than I am.
> >
> >
> > Judy
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison
> > Martin via BlindTlk
> > Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 3:49 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > By acting like an adult you mean?
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones
> > via BlindTlk
> > Sent: November 17, 2020 5:00 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > O my goodness!  You should be setting the example then.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison
> > Martin via BlindTlk
> > Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 2:56 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > Yes I'm the oldest, by 6 years.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones
> > via BlindTlk
> > Sent: November 17, 2020 4:46 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > I was just trying to think of things.
> >
> > It really would be worth talking to them.
> >
> > By chance, are you the oldest?
> >
> > I can tell you that having been a parent, sometimes, with the oldest,
> > parents are still going through firsts.  The first to graduate from
> > high school, etc.
> > They're growing along with their older children, so if you are the
> > eldest, you can set the tone, it's almost an advantage for you.
> >
> > You've hit milestones of graduating from high school and becoming an
> > adult, so you will have to help them along with that, too.
> >
> > Judy
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison
> > Martin via BlindTlk
> > Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 2:38 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > Mom does all the cleaning except for vacuuming which Dad does. Dad
> > does all the cooking. I'm a picky eater so I don't generally eat Dad
> > cooks.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones
> > via BlindTlk
> > Sent: November 17, 2020 4:15 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > Hi, Madison,
> >
> > First of all, I'm sure we're all behind you on this list.
> >
> > One thing I have seen in common from your responses on this list and
> > others, that when suggestions are given, they are summarily rejected.
> >
> > Granted, we're not in your living situation, but you need to start
> > thinking like a problem-solver.  If any of our suggestions aren't
> > working for you, then you will have to come up with your own solutions
> > that will work for you.
> >
> > Take the problems out of the way.  You'll have to be your own
> > problem-solver, that is what we all have had to learn to do in order
> > to make it in life.
> >
> > you would need to persuade your folks by your actions maybe at first,
> > if not by your words.  Examples.  Take on more of the cooking, or cook
> > for yourself.  Do more of the household chores, take on more personal
> > grooming and schedule para to go out, or anything else you can do to
> > show them the adult you are.
> >
> > You've basically had a two year "break" from high school, so you
> > should seriously look at ways of becoming more independent, and now.
> >
> > Talk to a CNIB counselor, talk to Mary Ellen, I can send you her
> > information again if you need it, but get some support for what you
> > are trying to do.
> > You are going to have to use the resources available.  If you need it,
> > get yourself into a center for daily living skills to equip you to be
> > out on your own.  You've got to do this for you.
> >
> > Another thing a VR counselor can do is give you an interest test that
> > may bring out some surprising positive results of interests you have
> > you didn't realize, and can move forward with plans for your life and
> > moving forward.
> >
> > It sounds like stuck at home is getting to you, and that will not
> > change unless you take control of your situation yourself.  If any of
> > us could wave a wand and make it happen for you, I'm sure we would
> > love to, we all want to see our blind brothers and sisters succeed.
> >
> > We're here to advise and help, but you have to do the work.
> >
> > You have a golden time window, being a couple years out of high
> > school, but the older you get, the harder it will be to pick up the
> > reins of your life again, you've got to make it happen for yourself
> > and get people behind you to support you, and this list will support
> > you inasmuch as a listserv can.
> >
> > Judy
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison
> > Martin via BlindTlk
> > Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 1:18 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > I'm not sure they'd listen to me, or at least not Mom.
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones
> > via BlindTlk
> > Sent: November 16, 2020 5:36 PM
> > To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> > Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
> > Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > Another thought.
> >
> > Can you sit down with your folks, and discuss your need for more
> > independence, a possible modest allowance, if you don't already have one?
> > Your need to have your own things be yours?
> >
> > For about three years, our older daughter came back to the "nest," for
> > about five years until she got married in 2015.
> >
> > Chris was newly retired then, I was starting back to work, and Jada
> > had her own job.  Of course we would have provided groceries for her,
> > had she needed that, but she got work right away.
> >
> > We would share our groceries with her, and she shared some of hers
> > with us, but we would check with each other before we ate.
> >
> > We also would eat sometimes at different times.  Jada, of course,
> > could use the kitchen any time she liked anyway.
> >
> > One time we were talking about this, and our relationship with her at
> > that time was more like housemates.
> >
> > We all had our own schedules, our own errands, our own things we did,
> > but we also enjoyed each other's company.
> >
> > When trying to explain this to our younger daughter, it was hard for
> > her to understand, because the last time she was living with us was as
> > a minor.
> > She started fulltime work at age eighteen, had her own place, and kept
> > that job until she was 25.  She married at 27, and is now 30, hard to
> > believe.
> >
> >
> > Judy
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison
> > Martin via BlindTlk
> > Sent: Monday, November 16, 2020 3:01 PM
> > To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
> > Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
> > Subject: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
> >
> > Hi all,
> > Hope this is okay to talk about hear, I just really need to vent.
> > I forgot to say that Dad and I went out for super on Saturday to get
> > away from the craziness. Plus I don't eat pizza. Makayla's biggest
> > issue is that her and Mom are too much a like, so they're always at
> > each other and she thinks that Mom is always mad at her when she
> > isn't. Dad takes anti-depressant meds, but I think he watches and
> > reads way too much news. I also think he drinks way too much coffie
> > and alcohol, and he also needs to lose weight. Makayla also likes to
> > nag me about stuff that Mom and Dad don't bug me about, I already have
> > two parents I don't want or need a third. I'm an adult so I think I
> > should be allowed to make my own decisions and not get told what to
> > do. Mom also loves to be in control all the time which is very
> > annoying. None of us are very good at talking about and sharing our
> > feelings, if we were a normal family then we could talk about this
> > stuff, but we aren't. I know that a therapist can't necessarily solve
> > our problems, but hopefully they could give us ways to cope. Mom is
> > the one that needs the most help, but we know that she wouldn't go or
> > talk.
> > I don't know that Mom would ever join us, and I don't know if Makayla
> > even wants to go. I'd consider it, but only if we found the right
> > therapist.
> > There are many I'm sure, but they're not all the same. I'd love to
> > move out, but I don't think I want to live by myself. I used to think
> > that Dad and I should go live together, but now I'm not so sure. I
> > already told you about his issues, and he also nags me about stuff
> > mainly personal hygiene stuff, mainly showiering. I don't go anywhere
> > so I really don't care how I look or if I smell. Plus the less we
> > shower the less water we use, and the less product we have to buy. As
> > an adult, should I not be allowed to make my own decsions even when it
> > comes to personal hygiene? Sometimes I feel like I'm treated more like
> > a kid then the adult that I am and should be allowed to be. Makayla
> > would probably just yell at me, she wouldn't actually teach me how to
> > do something. She quite often just says "If you want something then
> > why not just learn to do it yourself." She also bugs me about stuff
> > and tells me what to do too. She's also gotten really bad at just
> > taking things without asking, mainly food. Sometimes someone buys
> > something for themselves or for someone else (that's not her), but she
> > just sees things and assumes she can eat or use them, when she can't
> > always. If she'd just ask then chances are she could eat some of or
> > use some of whatever it is, but she doesn't. Dad does this too, not as
> > much though. We made fudge a few months ago, and she ate a few pieces
> > without asking. It had to be kept in the fridge so Mom would cut up a
> > few pieces and put them out to warm up a bit.
> > Now if we make it again she's not allowed to have any because she
> > didn't ask the first time, she blew it. What's fair is fair. Plus the
> > last few times she's made stuff she hasn't asked me if I'd like any,
> > not that I would unless it's plain.
> > It's just annoying when Mom or Dad buys me something and then I don't
> > really get any because she's eaten it. Dad says I'm going to have to
> > start hiding stuff in my room, which would be weird, if it gets to
> > that then I think we have a real problem on our hands. Plus she's good
> > at noticing/finding things that Mom has tried to hide, in particular
> > chocolate.
> > Mom isn't always good at sharing either, but I just ask and if she
> > says no then I don't touch it. We might have to start putting our
> > names on things, which Makayla did yesterday, when she got this
> > macaronie dinner from Sobeys, which I didn't get. If she wants her own
> > then that's fine, but I like them too, so I should've gotten one too.
> > I've learned that if someone gets something for me, whether it's a
> > dinner or snack stuff I have to eat it right away or else there might
> > not be any/one left when I really want it/some.  She yells at me when
> > we're doing dishes because apparently I don't dry them right. Now I
> > just wait for her to finish washing and then I dry.
> > I've tried talking to Mom, but that didn't really work/help. She
> > thought that I was talking about some particular time or decision that
> > I want to make, but I was just talking about in general. I still
> > collect animal figurenes, and she has this weird thing that if it's
> > too close to my birthday or Christmas then I can't buy anything, even
> > though when I'm looking at stuff it usually over a month until either
> > event. I do it because I worry that she won't like the look of the
> > figurine that I'm asking for so she won't buy it for me, regardless of
> > how much I want it. Like last Christmas I asked for this particular
> > husky, well she didn't buy it for me because she said that she didn't
> > like it's face, it was too pointy, but the
> > 2 that she got me looked way more like wolves then huskies. It's my
> > money, should I not be allowed to spend it when and how I want?
> > Any thoughts/suggestions? Like I said, I just really needed to vent,
> > so if no one answers then that's fine. Thanks for letting me do it anyway.
> > Madison
> >
> >
> > _______________________________________________
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> >
> >
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