[BlindTlk] frustrating home situation

Cindy Ray cindyray at gmail.com
Thu Nov 19 21:12:51 UTC 2020 


> On Nov 19, 2020, at 3:07 PM, Ericka via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:This subject line is no longer reflected in your message bodies. Could you all please change your subject line so I know what I want to read?
Thanks.
Cindy Lou 

> 
> Easy enough to find out. Google!
> 
> Ericka Nelson
> 
>> On Nov 19, 2020, at 2:16 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> Our population is 65,000 at least. Plus I live in Canada so I don't know that we have rural funding for transportation.  
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones via BlindTlk
>> Sent: November 19, 2020 12:27 PM
>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>> 
>> According to the ADA, Para is supposed to go where the buses go, but they have anywhere from a three-quarter-mile to a mile and a half service area outside the transit routes they can go.
>> 
>> Each local mobility network is different on how they handle their services, according to money and needs.
>> 
>> And, like you said, most rural areas aren't going to be covered if they are outside the boundaries of the fixed-rout/Para service area.
>> 
>> Areas under 50 thousand in population can receive funding for rural areas, but once they reach 50 thousand  or over, that rural funding stops, and urban funding kicks in.
>> 
>> Judy
>> 
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Ericka via BlindTlk
>> Sent: Thursday, November 19, 2020 9:11 AM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Ericka <dotwriter1 at gmail.com>
>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>> 
>> Not to mention if cities don’t share the cost there won’t be a rural transit authority of any kind.  We can’t go 10 minutes away to my grandparents house because their community won’t kick in. Usually the rule is if a bus won’t go there Paratransit won’t.  We have for profit Paratransit but it is costly. Sometimes a community has a rideshare volunteer program. It has a sliding scale fee for riders. 
>> 
>> No idea what other countries.
>> 
>> Ericka Nelson
>> 
>>> On Nov 18, 2020, at 3:29 PM, Judy Jones via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Hi, Pam,
>>> 
>>> In rural areas, buses don't necessarily go places, especially if
>>> things are outside the ADA three-quarters mile service apron.
>>> 
>>> Judy
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Pamela 
>>> Dominguez via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 4:56 AM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99 at gmail.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>>> 
>>> Why wouldn't a paratransit take you?  I can understand that you 
>>> couldn't get a bus.  Pam.
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 4:20 PM
>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List'
>>> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>>> 
>>> I get driven everywhere, not that I go many places. The main place I 
>>> go is to the barn where I ride, it's in the country, so a bus or 
>>> paratransit wouldn't take me there.
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Judy Jones 
>>> via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: November 16, 2020 5:27 PM
>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Judy Jones <sonshines59 at gmail.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>>> 
>>> Hi, Madison,
>>> 
>>> On a list like this that isn't specific, I don't see any problem in 
>>> venting, myself.  Of course it would be up to the list owner.
>>> 
>>> My very general answer is:  When you are out on your own, most of this 
>>> will probably square itself out, and the issues that seem so great now 
>>> will solve themselves, or be non-issues.
>>> 
>>> Now, for the specifics.  When I remember being your age, a long time 
>>> ago hahaha, I was very anxious to be on my own, not because I didn't
>>> love my folks, but because I was ready.
>>> 
>>> I was in school in another town, so that automatically had me out 
>>> taking care of myself, buying what I wanted, managing my money.
>>> 
>>> At that time, I wasn't working, and mom and dad helped me out each 
>>> month with some money.  I had worked in the summertimes, but not during college.
>>> 
>>> I loved going home on the weekends, but it's strange, once you've 
>>> really been out on your own, it's never the same going back.
>>> 
>>> It was always nice to visit catch up, enjoy that protective 
>>> environment with mom and dad, but always good to leave the nest again.
>>> 
>>> I visited the nest less and less, since I got a teaching job straight 
>>> out of college in another state, then married and moved across country.
>>> 
>>> You haven't left the nest yet, and you are an adult, and sounds like 
>>> wanting to spread your wings a bit.
>>> 
>>> You need work in order to fund that, but until you do have a job, just 
>>> curious, do you do your own shopping?
>>> 
>>> Do you take bus or Para to go visit friends, shopping, go to a movie, 
>>> whatever you like to do?
>>> 
>>> I'm thinking that if you are doing things by yourself more and more, 
>>> your parents are bound to see your independence, and will maybe work 
>>> into letting go.
>>> 
>>> I know about that, I'm a mom, and one has to work at that as a mom.
>>> 
>>> My folks did that very well, but am not saying it is easy for a parent 
>>> to do this.
>>> 
>>> Can you discuss an allowance from your folks, if you are not already 
>>> getting one, then budgeting it for things you want and trips you want to take?
>>> 
>>> Judy
>>> 
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Madison 
>>> Martin via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Monday, November 16, 2020 3:01 PM
>>> To: blindtlk at nfbnet.org
>>> Cc: maddymartin at mymts.net
>>> Subject: [BlindTlk] frustrating home situation
>>> 
>>> Hi all,
>>> Hope this is okay to talk about hear, I just really need to vent.
>>> I forgot to say that Dad and I went out for super on Saturday to get 
>>> away from the craziness. Plus I don't eat pizza. Makayla's biggest 
>>> issue is that her and Mom are too much a like, so they're always at 
>>> each other and she thinks that Mom is always mad at her when she 
>>> isn't. Dad takes anti-depressant meds, but I think he watches and 
>>> reads way too much news. I also think he drinks way too much coffie 
>>> and alcohol, and he also needs to lose weight. Makayla also likes to 
>>> nag me about stuff that Mom and Dad don't bug me about, I already have 
>>> two parents I don't want or need a third. I'm an adult so I think I 
>>> should be allowed to make my own decisions and not get told what to 
>>> do. Mom also loves to be in control all the time which is very 
>>> annoying. None of us are very good at talking about and sharing our 
>>> feelings, if we were a normal family then we could talk about this 
>>> stuff, but we aren't. I know that a therapist can't necessarily solve 
>>> our problems, but hopefully they could give us ways to cope. Mom is the one that needs the most help, but we know that she wouldn't go or talk.
>>> I don't know that Mom would ever join us, and I don't know if Makayla
>>> even wants to go. I'd consider it, but only if we found the right therapist.
>>> There are many I'm sure, but they're not all the same. I'd love to 
>>> move out, but I don't think I want to live by myself. I used to think 
>>> that Dad and I should go live together, but now I'm not so sure. I
>>> already told you about his issues, and he also nags me about stuff 
>>> mainly personal hygiene stuff, mainly showiering. I don't go anywhere 
>>> so I really don't care how I look or if I smell. Plus the less we 
>>> shower the less water we use, and the less product we have to buy. As 
>>> an adult, should I not be allowed to make my own decsions even when it 
>>> comes to personal hygiene? Sometimes I feel like I'm treated more like 
>>> a kid then the adult that I am and should be allowed to be. Makayla 
>>> would probably just yell at me, she wouldn't actually teach me how to 
>>> do something. She quite often just says "If you want something then 
>>> why not just learn to do it yourself." She also bugs me about stuff 
>>> and tells me what to do too. She's also gotten really bad at just 
>>> taking things without asking, mainly food. Sometimes someone buys 
>>> something for themselves or for someone else (that's not her), but she 
>>> just sees things and assumes she can eat or use them, when she can't 
>>> always. If she'd just ask then chances are she could eat some of or 
>>> use some of whatever it is, but she doesn't. Dad does this too, not as 
>>> much though. We made fudge a few months ago, and she ate a few pieces without asking. It had to be kept in the fridge so Mom would cut up a few pieces and put them out to warm up a bit.
>>> Now if we make it again she's not allowed to have any because she 
>>> didn't ask the first time, she blew it. What's fair is fair. Plus the 
>>> last few times she's made stuff she hasn't asked me if I'd like any, 
>>> not that I would unless it's plain.
>>> It's just annoying when Mom or Dad buys me something and then I don't 
>>> really get any because she's eaten it. Dad says I'm going to have to 
>>> start hiding stuff in my room, which would be weird, if it gets to 
>>> that then I think we have a real problem on our hands. Plus she's good 
>>> at noticing/finding things that Mom has tried to hide, in particular chocolate.
>>> Mom isn't always good at sharing either, but I just ask and if she 
>>> says no then I don't touch it. We might have to start putting our 
>>> names on things, which Makayla did yesterday, when she got this 
>>> macaronie dinner from Sobeys, which I didn't get. If she wants her own 
>>> then that's fine, but I like them too, so I should've gotten one too.
>>> I've learned that if someone gets something for me, whether it's a 
>>> dinner or snack stuff I have to eat it right away or else there might 
>>> not be any/one left when I really want it/some.  She yells at me when 
>>> we're doing dishes because apparently I don't dry them right. Now I just wait for her to finish washing and then I dry.
>>> I've tried talking to Mom, but that didn't really work/help. She 
>>> thought that I was talking about some particular time or decision that 
>>> I want to make, but I was just talking about in general. I still 
>>> collect animal figurenes, and she has this weird thing that if it's 
>>> too close to my birthday or Christmas then I can't buy anything, even 
>>> though when I'm looking at stuff it usually over a month until either 
>>> event. I do it because I worry that she won't like the look of the 
>>> figurine that I'm asking for so she won't buy it for me, regardless of 
>>> how much I want it. Like last Christmas I asked for this particular 
>>> husky, well she didn't buy it for me because she said that she didn't 
>>> like it's face, it was too pointy, but the
>>> 2 that she got me looked way more like wolves then huskies. It's my 
>>> money, should I not be allowed to spend it when and how I want?
>>> Any thoughts/suggestions? Like I said, I just really needed to vent, 
>>> so if no one answers then that's fine. Thanks for letting me do it anyway.
>>> Madison
>>> 
>>> 
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