[BlindTlk] vent about my sister

Alan Wheeler blindsticks at gmail.com
Wed Mar 10 21:37:14 UTC 2021 

What if no one is available to drive you? You cannot, realistically, depend on that your whole life, especially if you truly want a job.


"If you want to practice anything, practice knowing you can do whatever you set your complete mind to." Victor Wooten "The Music Lesson"

My blog: http://doingitdeeper.blogspot.com/

Sent from my iPad

> On Mar 10, 2021, at 12:34 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> I'm a home-body, I'd rather stay home and watch TV then go for a walk. Also I
> get driven everywhere.
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via BlindTlk
> Sent: March 10, 2021 2:29 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
> 
> What sort of life style do you have? A dog may give you the confidence that you
> need to get out. Even if that just means getting out for walks in your
> neighborhood or going to a local store or restaurant.
> 
> Peggy & Dixie Marie
> 
> Sent from my iPhone
> 
>>> On Mar 10, 2021, at 10:21 AM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>> 
>> I'm not sure my lifestyle is suitable for a guide dog. I still really 
>> want to be a groomer, but not sure I'll be able to get the hands-on 
>> training that I need as none of the grooming schools are willing to 
>> take me and none of the groomers around hear think that I can do it.
>> 
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via 
>> BlindTlk
>> Sent: March 9, 2021 11:14 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>> 
>> Madison, thought you wanted to be a groomer and also get a guide dog?
>> Peggy & Dixie Marie
>> 
>> Sent from my iPhone
>> 
>>> On Mar 9, 2021, at 3:17 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk 
>>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>>> 
>>> I've been trying to find a job but haven't had any luck yet. I'm not going to
>>> school again unless I find something that really peaks my interest.   
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Justin 
>>> Williams via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: March 9, 2021 2:13 PM
>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Justin Williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>> 
>>> Are you in college yet, or moving on to a career?
>>> 
>>> Justin
>>> 
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>>> Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 3:05 PM
>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>> 
>>> She's 14 and I'm 21. No they haven't and no she isn't. We've tried 
>>> asking her to say the same thing nicely, but she hasn't listened so 
>>> far. I don't think she has any mental health issues. We've never had 
>>> the best relationship, but I'd say the last couple of years that it's 
>>> been
>> happening, this past year for sure.
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Lauren 
>>> Merryfield via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: March 9, 2021 1:17 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Lauren Merryfield <lauren7877 at outlook.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>> 
>>> Hi Madison,
>>> My professional suggestions might be rusty, but here goes:
>>> Some random thoughts and questions to your family issues:
>>> 
>>> First of all, you did not mention your blindness and your family's 
>>> response to it.
>>> 
>>> How old is your sister? 
>>> 
>>> You mentioned that she is six years older than you but her age is important.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> When and how long did she start doing this kind of behavior?
>>> 
>>> Is there a reason your family has allowed this to go on?
>>> 
>>> it certainly does sound like a self-esteem issue possibly for both of 
>>> you or your entire family.
>>> 
>>> Your family might consider the following points:
>>> 
>>> retaliating would not help any of you at all.
>>> 
>>> Disrespect toward, and abuse to your cats should not be allowed.
>>> 
>>> Ignoring the bullying behavior.
>>> 
>>> Asking her what is hurting her
>>> 
>>> Telling her you love her, no matter what she says
>>> 
>>> Asking her if there is a different way she could say the same thing;
>>> 
>>> asking her to do so might help.
>>> 
>>> Your family  might need to engage in these types of behavior toward 
>>> your sister repeatedly.
>>> 
>>> It could be that your parents could also practice these ways of 
>>> responding to your sister's rudeness.
>>> 
>>> It sounds like she is hungry for attention, which, coming from the 
>>> rest of your family,  needs to be positive but firm.
>>> 
>>> Your parents could find out if she is being bullied at school.
>>> 
>>> They could see if any staff members have observed her misbehaving in 
>>> some way at school.
>>> 
>>> Have your parents talked to any of the staff at the school?
>>> 
>>> Has she seen the school counselor?
>>> 
>>> Have your parents made sure that your sister is seeing the school counselor?
>>> 
>>> If your sister is out of school, are any of these issues occurring at 
>>> work or whatever she is engaged in currently?
>>> 
>>> If she is still at home, could she get her own apartment? 
>>> 
>>> Respect, or lack thereof, in your family, seems to be an important 
>>> term in these
>>> issues:
>>> 
>>> self respect or lack of it
>>> 
>>> disrespect for the rest of you, including the cats.
>>> 
>>> Disrespect for her from the rest of your family could be bringing her down.
>>> 
>>> One can dislike the behavior, but love the person. 
>>> This is very important.
>>> 
>>> Separating those two issues could be difficult for your family to accomplish.
> 
>>> 
>>> If she is still living with her parents, which it sounds like, then 
>>> the parents need to be parents.
>>> 
>>> Family dynamics are probably contributing to this behavioral issue. 
>>> 
>>> Possibly your parents could find a good family therapist who could 
>>> help all of your family members.
>>> 
>>> If she misbehaves in therapy, the therapist would notice. 
>>> 
>>> Is there a possibility of mental health issues?
>>> 
>>> Could she be put on any medication that might calm her down or help 
>>> with depression or any issues like that she may have?
>>> 
>>> A psychiatrist might be able to figure that out.
>>> 
>>> Someone who is untreated can have issues they don't totally have control of.
>>> 
>>> .......
>>> 
>>> Blessings,
>>> Lauren
>>> 
>>> "What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all 
>>> living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame 
>>> in the heart that is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless and 
>>> gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there 
>>> is indeed no greater power than the power of love." Abdu'l-Baha
>>> 
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Jude 
>>> DaShiell via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 10:07 AM
>>> To: Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Jude DaShiell <jdashiel at panix.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>> 
>>> You're playing her game.  Indefinite ostracism is likely the only way 
>>> to handle this problem child.
>>> 
>>> 
>>>> On Tue, 9 Mar 2021, Madison Martin via BlindTlk wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> Hi all,
>>>> Sorry, but I just really need to get this all out, as it's really 
>>>> been bothering me.
>>>> 
>>>> First of all I should tell you that my sister and I are 6 years 
>>>> apart and have never had the same interests so therefore our 
>>>> relationship has never been that grate. Lately things have gotten worse
> though.
>>>> She's taken to bullying me. She tells me to shut up, says I'm 
>>>> annoying and
>>> sensitive, none of which are true.
>>>> She also says that no one cares about my opinion. She also likes to 
>>>> say, "are you dumb or you  stupid?" and "I'm not being rude I'm just 
>>>> being honest," when in truth she is being rude and she knows 
>>>> full-well that it is. I've tried giving her a taste of her own 
>>>> medicine (not as rudely of course), but that didn't work as she just 
>>>> mocked me. She's also become a real potty-mouth which drives us all 
>>>> nuts. We can't even have a family meeting because she won't let the 
>>>> rest of us talk, she just thinks that she's right and that we're the 
>>>> problem. She also does this thing where she breathes in deeply holds 
>>>> it and then lets it out, it sounds like she's having an assma attack 
>>>> or dying. She thinks it's cool, but really it just sounds absolutely 
>>>> horrible and is extremely annoying. She also loves to bother our 
>>>> cats, especially our youngest one Charlie, by blowing in their 
>>>> faces, touching their paws, chasing them, and picking them up when 
>>>> they don't want to be held. Because of this Charlie gets very 
>>>> defensive when we pet him or try and move him and he's also not as 
>>>> affectionate as he might have been. Also, Rosie our middle cat is 
>>>> very skittish and gets scared so easily, it's sad. I think she feels 
>>>> that she doesn't get treated fairly and that I never get punished 
>>>> for anything which isn't true at all. She also feels like we don't 
>>>> listen to her which isn't true at all, we do, she just isn't always
>>> right. She also calls us loosers, and criticizes me or at least 
>>> questions me about just about everything that I either do or don't do.
>>>> She seems to have a tendency to not remember things how they 
>>>> actually happened and stretch the truth, and she also lies.
>>>> She's not very empathetic, Mom and Dad have to make her apologize 
>>>> for being mean to me, and she never sounds sincere. She also has 
>>>> self-esteem issues, she thinks she's ugly when she really isn't. I 
>>>> worry that she's being bullied at school, and is therefor lashing out.
>>>> Mom has asked her, but she's said no, but as I said she's been known 
>>>> to lie. I also worry about how her and her friends treat each other, 
>>>> some of them aren't the nicest people. She just has an all-around 
>>>> crappy attitude. Dad and I have talked about going to therapy and 
>>>> she'd be the main topic which would be fine, but I worry that a 
>>>> therapist might not be able to help us/her, especially since I know 
>>>> she wouldn't listen/talk to them she'd probably just say that we're 
>>>> the problem. Anyway, I know that you  can't do anything, but I just 
>>>> really needed to get this all out, as I'm really getting very fed up 
>>>> with her and living with someone who treats me and Mom and Dad the 
>>>> way she does. If you read this far then thanks for reading, Madison
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> _______________________________________________
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>> 
>> 
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