[BlindTlk] vent about my sister
madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
Wed Mar 10 21:40:10 UTC 2021
Then I won't go
-----Original Message-----
From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Alan Wheeler via BlindTlk
Sent: March 10, 2021 3:37 PM
To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
Cc: Alan Wheeler <blindsticks at gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
What if no one is available to drive you? You cannot, realistically, depend on that your whole life, especially if you truly want a job.
"If you want to practice anything, practice knowing you can do whatever you set your complete mind to." Victor Wooten "The Music Lesson"
My blog: http://doingitdeeper.blogspot.com/
Sent from my iPad
> On Mar 10, 2021, at 12:34 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>
> I'm a home-body, I'd rather stay home and watch TV then go for a
> walk. Also I get driven everywhere.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via
> BlindTlk
> Sent: March 10, 2021 2:29 PM
> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
> Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>
> What sort of life style do you have? A dog may give you the confidence
> that you need to get out. Even if that just means getting out for
> walks in your neighborhood or going to a local store or restaurant.
>
> Peggy & Dixie Marie
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>>> On Mar 10, 2021, at 10:21 AM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
>>
>> I'm not sure my lifestyle is suitable for a guide dog. I still really
>> want to be a groomer, but not sure I'll be able to get the hands-on
>> training that I need as none of the grooming schools are willing to
>> take me and none of the groomers around hear think that I can do it.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Peggy via
>> BlindTlk
>> Sent: March 9, 2021 11:14 PM
>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> Cc: Peggy <nocyou at aol.com>
>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>
>> Madison, thought you wanted to be a groomer and also get a guide dog?
>> Peggy & Dixie Marie
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>>> On Mar 9, 2021, at 3:17 PM, Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>>> <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>> wrote:
>>>
>>> I've been trying to find a job but haven't had any luck yet. I'm not going to
>>> school again unless I find something that really peaks my interest.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Justin
>>> Williams via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: March 9, 2021 2:13 PM
>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Justin Williams <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>
>>> Are you in college yet, or moving on to a career?
>>>
>>> Justin
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk [mailto:blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of
>>> Madison Martin via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 3:05 PM
>>> To: 'Blind Talk Mailing List' <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: madisonmartin463 at gmail.com
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>
>>> She's 14 and I'm 21. No they haven't and no she isn't. We've tried
>>> asking her to say the same thing nicely, but she hasn't listened so
>>> far. I don't think she has any mental health issues. We've never had
>>> the best relationship, but I'd say the last couple of years that
>>> it's been
>> happening, this past year for sure.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Lauren
>>> Merryfield via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: March 9, 2021 1:17 PM
>>> To: Blind Talk Mailing List <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Lauren Merryfield <lauren7877 at outlook.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>
>>> Hi Madison,
>>> My professional suggestions might be rusty, but here goes:
>>> Some random thoughts and questions to your family issues:
>>>
>>> First of all, you did not mention your blindness and your family's
>>> response to it.
>>>
>>> How old is your sister?
>>>
>>> You mentioned that she is six years older than you but her age is important.
>>>
>>>
>>> When and how long did she start doing this kind of behavior?
>>>
>>> Is there a reason your family has allowed this to go on?
>>>
>>> it certainly does sound like a self-esteem issue possibly for both
>>> of you or your entire family.
>>>
>>> Your family might consider the following points:
>>>
>>> retaliating would not help any of you at all.
>>>
>>> Disrespect toward, and abuse to your cats should not be allowed.
>>>
>>> Ignoring the bullying behavior.
>>>
>>> Asking her what is hurting her
>>>
>>> Telling her you love her, no matter what she says
>>>
>>> Asking her if there is a different way she could say the same thing;
>>>
>>> asking her to do so might help.
>>>
>>> Your family might need to engage in these types of behavior toward
>>> your sister repeatedly.
>>>
>>> It could be that your parents could also practice these ways of
>>> responding to your sister's rudeness.
>>>
>>> It sounds like she is hungry for attention, which, coming from the
>>> rest of your family, needs to be positive but firm.
>>>
>>> Your parents could find out if she is being bullied at school.
>>>
>>> They could see if any staff members have observed her misbehaving in
>>> some way at school.
>>>
>>> Have your parents talked to any of the staff at the school?
>>>
>>> Has she seen the school counselor?
>>>
>>> Have your parents made sure that your sister is seeing the school counselor?
>>>
>>> If your sister is out of school, are any of these issues occurring
>>> at work or whatever she is engaged in currently?
>>>
>>> If she is still at home, could she get her own apartment?
>>>
>>> Respect, or lack thereof, in your family, seems to be an important
>>> term in these
>>> issues:
>>>
>>> self respect or lack of it
>>>
>>> disrespect for the rest of you, including the cats.
>>>
>>> Disrespect for her from the rest of your family could be bringing her down.
>>>
>>> One can dislike the behavior, but love the person.
>>> This is very important.
>>>
>>> Separating those two issues could be difficult for your family to accomplish.
>
>>>
>>> If she is still living with her parents, which it sounds like, then
>>> the parents need to be parents.
>>>
>>> Family dynamics are probably contributing to this behavioral issue.
>>>
>>> Possibly your parents could find a good family therapist who could
>>> help all of your family members.
>>>
>>> If she misbehaves in therapy, the therapist would notice.
>>>
>>> Is there a possibility of mental health issues?
>>>
>>> Could she be put on any medication that might calm her down or help
>>> with depression or any issues like that she may have?
>>>
>>> A psychiatrist might be able to figure that out.
>>>
>>> Someone who is untreated can have issues they don't totally have control of.
>>>
>>> .......
>>>
>>> Blessings,
>>> Lauren
>>>
>>> "What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all
>>> living powers. Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame
>>> in the heart that is cold.Love brings hope to the hopeless and
>>> gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence
>>> there is indeed no greater power than the power of love."
>>> Abdu'l-Baha
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: BlindTlk <blindtlk-bounces at nfbnet.org> On Behalf Of Jude
>>> DaShiell via BlindTlk
>>> Sent: Tuesday, March 9, 2021 10:07 AM
>>> To: Madison Martin via BlindTlk <blindtlk at nfbnet.org>
>>> Cc: Jude DaShiell <jdashiel at panix.com>
>>> Subject: Re: [BlindTlk] vent about my sister
>>>
>>> You're playing her game. Indefinite ostracism is likely the only
>>> way to handle this problem child.
>>>
>>>
>>>> On Tue, 9 Mar 2021, Madison Martin via BlindTlk wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Hi all,
>>>> Sorry, but I just really need to get this all out, as it's really
>>>> been bothering me.
>>>>
>>>> First of all I should tell you that my sister and I are 6 years
>>>> apart and have never had the same interests so therefore our
>>>> relationship has never been that grate. Lately things have gotten
>>>> worse
> though.
>>>> She's taken to bullying me. She tells me to shut up, says I'm
>>>> annoying and
>>> sensitive, none of which are true.
>>>> She also says that no one cares about my opinion. She also likes to
>>>> say, "are you dumb or you stupid?" and "I'm not being rude I'm
>>>> just being honest," when in truth she is being rude and she knows
>>>> full-well that it is. I've tried giving her a taste of her own
>>>> medicine (not as rudely of course), but that didn't work as she
>>>> just mocked me. She's also become a real potty-mouth which drives
>>>> us all nuts. We can't even have a family meeting because she won't
>>>> let the rest of us talk, she just thinks that she's right and that
>>>> we're the problem. She also does this thing where she breathes in
>>>> deeply holds it and then lets it out, it sounds like she's having
>>>> an assma attack or dying. She thinks it's cool, but really it just
>>>> sounds absolutely horrible and is extremely annoying. She also
>>>> loves to bother our cats, especially our youngest one Charlie, by
>>>> blowing in their faces, touching their paws, chasing them, and
>>>> picking them up when they don't want to be held. Because of this
>>>> Charlie gets very defensive when we pet him or try and move him and
>>>> he's also not as affectionate as he might have been. Also, Rosie
>>>> our middle cat is very skittish and gets scared so easily, it's
>>>> sad. I think she feels that she doesn't get treated fairly and that
>>>> I never get punished for anything which isn't true at all. She also
>>>> feels like we don't listen to her which isn't true at all, we do,
>>>> she just isn't always
>>> right. She also calls us loosers, and criticizes me or at least
>>> questions me about just about everything that I either do or don't do.
>>>> She seems to have a tendency to not remember things how they
>>>> actually happened and stretch the truth, and she also lies.
>>>> She's not very empathetic, Mom and Dad have to make her apologize
>>>> for being mean to me, and she never sounds sincere. She also has
>>>> self-esteem issues, she thinks she's ugly when she really isn't. I
>>>> worry that she's being bullied at school, and is therefor lashing out.
>>>> Mom has asked her, but she's said no, but as I said she's been
>>>> known to lie. I also worry about how her and her friends treat each
>>>> other, some of them aren't the nicest people. She just has an
>>>> all-around crappy attitude. Dad and I have talked about going to
>>>> therapy and she'd be the main topic which would be fine, but I
>>>> worry that a therapist might not be able to help us/her, especially
>>>> since I know she wouldn't listen/talk to them she'd probably just
>>>> say that we're the problem. Anyway, I know that you can't do
>>>> anything, but I just really needed to get this all out, as I'm
>>>> really getting very fed up with her and living with someone who
>>>> treats me and Mom and Dad the way she does. If you read this far
>>>> then thanks for reading, Madison
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
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