[blparent] Happy Thanksgiving, eh?

[Barbara Hammel]

I feel your pain.  Here in Iowa they sent a letter a few weeks later just 
reiterating what was said.  I.E. the charges were unfounded.  It does 
unnerve you for quite a while.  We have our good and bad days, but just the 
thought of someone taking them away ...  I shook like a leaf for quite a 
while after she left.  How much more scary to have the police come, too. 
That was probably because of the dog?
Don't say word one to that ex-friend, you'll just add more fuel to her fire.
Barbara


--------------------------------------------------
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at pcdesk.net>
Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 7:21 PM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] Happy Thanksgiving, eh?

> Hi.  To tell the truth, I had a fairly happy Thanksgiving, and I hope you 
> all did as well.  But I had a really unpleasant surprise yesterday 
> afternoon.  Count me among the eighty percent of blind parents, I guess, 
> who have had encounters with Child Protective Services.  I hope that was 
> my first, last, and definitely only encounter.
>
> I was minding my own business, doing dishes in the kitchen.  Stephen was 
> up for the weekend, and an older woman from my church had left her two 
> grandchildren with me while she went to serve a Thanksgiving dinner at the 
> local affordable housing complex.  Stephen and the two younger kids had 
> just come in from outside.  Ballad, my guide dog, started barking, so 
> Gerald went to see who was at the door.  A few moments later, I came 
> around the corner into my living room and met up with two city police 
> officers and a social worker.
>
> It seems that an anonymous caller put in a complaint that I wasn't capable 
> of taking care of my baby, along with some other allegations iincluding 
> that I had a vicious dog who has bitten me before.  (Ballad is a friendly, 
> goofy black Labrador who would barely know how to bite anybody if she had 
> to.)  The social worker talked to Gerald and me for a few minutes and 
> then, since we didn't get upset and threaten her or anything crazy, I 
> guess, she told the police officers they could leave.  hung out for a 
> little while longer, then told us that she was going to file a report 
> saying that she saw nothing wrong, and the complaint was completely 
> unfounded.  She said Child Protective Services had no problem whatsoever 
> with blind parents or parents who had other disabilities, as long as the 
> children were well cared for, and she could see that Sarah was fine.  One 
> of the complaints had centered on the fact that Gerald is married to 
> someone besides me, and the case worker said that wasn't the business of 
> her agency.  She left soon after.
>
> The thing is, the case worker gave enough hints about exactly what was 
> said that I know who filed the complaint, even if it was anonymous.  It 
> was a friend of mmine, or rather an ex friend.  We haven't spoken for over 
> a year because when I told her I was pregnant with Gerald's child, she 
> went off about how selfish and stupid and immoral I was, and decided she 
> didn't want to talk to me.  It hurt, but I let her go without much of a 
> fight after eighteen years of friendship because in my book, friends stick 
> by each other and don't judge.  She sent a nasty little note at about the 
> time the baby was born, which I ignored because I had bigger fish to fry 
> at the time, like caring for an infant and getting my gallbladder removed. 
> I don't know now if she called Child Protective Services because of a 
> genuine concern for my baby--she sure didn't check with me at any 
> point--or whether it was some kind of weird vindictive thing.  I'm just in 
> shock.
>
> I guess I'm wondering if it's really going to end like the case worker 
> says.  If she reports that the case has no validity, will it ever come 
> back to bite us if something else is filed later?  Is my ex friend a 
> threat in the future?  So far, my gut feeling is that I better not contact 
> her about this.  I'm mostly too numb to have any emotions of anger or the 
> like, but I'm guessing they'll come in time.  The two kids I was 
> babysitting didn't say anything abot what happened, though I did tell 
> their grandparents in case they mentioned it later.  But Stephen asked me 
> why there were police officers in the house.  I told him the lady had come 
> to check on how the baby was getting cared for, and he asked again about 
> the cops.  So I said some people got mad when a person came to check on 
> their babies, and the lady brought the police so she could be sure she was 
> safe.  He seemed to accept that.  But I feel violated and a little fearful 
> about the future.  Actually, I feel sick.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> It is easy--terribly easy--to shake a man's faith in himself. To take 
> advantage of that to break a man's spirit is devil's work. Take care of 
> what you are doing. Take care.--George Bernard Shaw in "Candide"
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