[blparent] Question about adopting

[Pickrell, Rebecca M.]

I read this post differently then most of you. 
Shannon says that she feels as if she is being penalized for being "born
this way" even though there was "nothing that could be done about it". 
I'd ask if Shannon's husband came away with the same impression with
regard to his blindness, and am wondering if the problem may be a lack
of confidence, or an inability to explain how you two would handle
certain situations. 
Dena is right, you do need advocates on your side. 
You also need to demonstrate that *you* feel you can do this and that
you want to do this. You do not need to have all the answers, only a
good handle on where you can *get* the answers. 
Know too that most people can't imagine being a parent without their
sight. What I've found helpful is to put this in terms people can
understand, and say that I'd find it very difficult to parent without
on-demmand hot running water, because I have never known anything else. 
So it is with blindness, I have always been blind, and I do not know
anything else. 
People tend to "get it" when you phrase things in terms they can
understand. 
You can also point out that you wuld touch a child to know if they are
clean, and remind whoever you see that all of us touch our behinds to
determine if we have properly cleaned ourselves after using the toilet. 
Remind them too that medical people use all their senses when diagnosing
a situation, touch and smell, as well as observing the behavior of their
patients. 
Keep in mind that while you don't want to "fight for this child" you
will need to be this child's advocate in all things. Ideally, this would
mean stating "My child needs..." but sometimes it won't, and you will
need to be firm and clear in what your child needs , as well as having
the ability to convey this to others.  
Keep in mind too that what your child may need, may be very different
from what *you* want or expected, and you will again need to know the
difference. 
Good luck to you. Stay calm and assertive. 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Dena Wainwright
Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2008 9:33 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Question about adopting

have you taken a child first-aid class? other parenting classes you
could point to? are there others with babies you spend a lot of time
caring for who would act as references for you? just some thoughts.
Dena


----- Original Message -----
From: "Shannan Zinck" <shannanzinck at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2008 11:20 AM
Subject: [blparent] Question about adopting


>I don't really know if anyone can answer this or not but, we had our
first
> home visit from adoption services today and unfortunately me being 
> visually
> impaired and my husband being blind seems to be the biggest concern
they
> have. I guess my question is does anyone have any idea how we would 
> convince
> them that we can handle a child or how to ease their minds on this 
> subject.
> I really don't want this to become a big enough issue that we have to 
> fight
> for this child. Everything else seems fine but, this one point and
some 
> how
> I feel like I'm being penalized for being born this way even though
there
> was nothing that could be done about it. Any ideas would be really
great.
> thanks.
>
> -- 
> Shannan Zinck
> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
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