[blparent] new parents with some questions

Sun Nov 30 02:38:24 UTC 2008

As for getting him to play, get him some basic toys, IE rattles, things that 
he might have been used to seeing when at the orphanage then gradually gain 
his interest with them, you need to find a way to "break the ice" with him 
so to speak in order to get into his interior and it make break the shyness 
and his shell.  Right now he is scared and probably unsure of his security. 
A child needs to feel safe in order to trust, have confidence and needs lots 
of love.

Jennifer

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jennifer Massey" <renandstimpy3 at comcast.net>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 9:24 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] new parents with some questions

> Jason,
> As for the educational issues you can contact child find for your state 
> and school district.  I would wait though in order to get to know him and 
> possibly get some the other issues straightened out.
>
> I am in Maryland and we have kennedy Krieger which is a great place to 
> start to get help with developmental issues along with speech/language 
> delays.
>
> I hope that the state you are in has something like this.
>
> I wish you all the luck with your new son.  Please give him time to adjust 
> to the new changes it could take weeks, months or even years before he 
> actually adjusts to the new things in his life.
>
> Jennifer
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Eva Adams" <eadams15 at gmail.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, November 29, 2008 2:34 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] new parents with some questions
>
>
>> Hey Jason,
>> Congradulation on getting your little boy.  Chris has two cousins that 
>> were adopted at the ages 2 and 4.  He suggests that to get him to play 
>> with the toys that you have to just keep offering the toys.  Since he 
>> liked the rattle at the orphanage try other toys that make a similar 
>> noise.  He said that his uncle had a hard time breaking his cousin of the 
>> rocking himself to sleep.  His uncle finally just let his cousin rock 
>> himself to sleep.  Chris said that he actually didn't stop until he was 
>> like eight.  I don't know, but maybe a rocking chair might work.  Try to 
>> teach him that if he wants to rock to do it in the rocking chair.  As for 
>> school I would probably wait until August.  But look around to see if 
>> there are any program that could help with language and other issues.  I 
>> hope you guys figure things out, and if I hear anything I think that will 
>> help you I will let you know.  Good luck, and congradulations again.
>>
>> Eva
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Jason Fayre" <jfayre at gmail.com>
>> To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>; <blindkid at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, November 27, 2008 3:47 PM
>> Subject: [blparent] new parents with some questions
>>
>>
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>>>
>>> Hello everyone,
>>> I am posting this to both the blind parents list and the parents of
>>> blind children list, so I apologize for the cross-post.
>>>
>>> I am blind.  My wife and I just returned from India with our adopted
>>> son.  He is 5 years old and was born without eyes.  Unfortunately, he
>>> was abandoned and lived in an orphanage for at least 3 years, maybe
>>> more.  So, we are looking at some fairly significant delays.  For
>>> example, he is currently not speaking at all.  He will mimic language,
>>> which is a good start though.  He is also still in diapers.  He will not
>>> indicate when he is wet.
>>>  In observing and interacting with him over the past 5-6 days, I do
>>> have some questions.  This is our first child, so some of these
>>> questions may be obvious to experienced parents:
>>>
>>> 1.  self-stimulation:  He is in motion almost constantly.  If he is
>>> standing up, he rocks side to side and back and forth.  If he is sitting
>>> down, he also rocks almost constantly.  Due to the lack of attention he
>>> received in the orphanage, he needs to rock himself to sleep at night.
>>> Does anyone have any ideas to help him overcome this?
>>>
>>> 2.  somewhat frantic or manic behavior at nap or bed times:  He has
>>> quite a bit of trouble getting to sleep during nap time or at bed time.
>>> He will attempt to fall asleep, and then begin laughing, rocking very
>>> vigerously and sometimes mouthing various objects.  This is all of the
>>> same self stimulation, but he seems to get much more agitated at sleep
>>> time.  The sad part is, due to neglect in the orphanage, he doesn't seem
>>> to respond at all to one of us holding him, or trying to comfort him.  I
>>> am honestly not sure how to handle this.  I don't want to just leave him
>>> in his room.  He will get up out of bed and start walking around.  Do I
>>> pick him up and put him back in his bed, or just let him work it out on
>>> his own.
>>>
>>>
>>> 3.  playing:  He does not seem to have much of a concept of toys.  He
>>> had one toy that he liked at the orphanage, which was a baby rattle.  We
>>> have lots of toys here for him, but I am not sure how to introduce the
>>> concept of playing to him.  Most of the time, he seems content to sit
>>> down and rock.  If you give him something to play with, he will most
>>> often throw it down.
>>>
>>> 4.  School:   I am not sure how to handle getting him into school.  As I
>>> mentioned earlier, he is 5, but acts more like a 1-2 year old.  I know
>>> he could benefit from the services in the public schools such as
>>> ocupational therapy and speech/language therapy.  I'm not sure weather
>>> to try and start some of that now, or wait until the fall.  I am not a
>>> huge fan of home schooling.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> I know I will have more questions, but thats it for now.  Any help would
>>> be greatly apreciated.  We're feeling a bit like a fish out of water at
>>> this point.
>>>
>>>
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>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>>
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