[blparent] coming to my defense

Thu Apr 23 20:13:23 UTC 2009

This is my take too. 
It also occurred to me that maybe the other girl views V. as a museum
piece not as a "real mom" since V has talked about blindness in school? 
I once met a boy who was about eight at Starbucks who was thrilled to
meet me. 
He said very loudly "Look, a real blind person!" the way he probably
would have said "look a real ballplayer". 
I have to say, it made me smile. 
Apparently, a person who was blind had come to his school and talked to
the class, and he hadn't until that moment put "blind person the museum
piece" together with "person who is blind doing normal stuff". 
Maybe Gab's friend hasn't made the connection yet? 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Thea Eaton
Sent: Thursday, April 23, 2009 3:10 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] coming to my defense

I remember that when I was younger, I had an argument with one of my
best girl-friends about clothes too. The friend was jealous of an outfit
that I wore, and ended up lashing out at me and insulting me on
something else, totally unrelated. I was hurt, but realized that she
didn't mean it. I think most girls have a tiff like that with their
friends at times.

I think it is important to remember that teenage girls, are teenage
girls, and to remind her that sometimes friends get mad at each other
and can lash out in a hurtful way. I don't think that it necessarily
really had anything to do with her being blind? But maybe the friend was
jealous of the clothes she was wearing? And maybe didn't want her to
wear that outfit? In that case she could have lashed out in any way,
called her fat, etc.. Teenage girls can be very sensitive about
appearances, clothes, hair, and such. I would definitely encourage Gab
to talk to her friend, and ask her what was really bothering her. If the
girl is old enough to realize what she said, I wouldn't involve the
grandmother if she was not there at the time that it happened, but
instead try to have the girls talk to each other and reconcile in a
mature way? Were they good friends before? Maybe you can invite her over
so they can talk about what was really bothering her?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Thursday, April 23, 2009 1:00 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] coming to my defense

Honestly, I feel sorry for Kiana in this situation, as well as Gab.
It's true that Gab got her feelings hurt, and Veronica got maligned, but
Kiana is

the one who is missing out on people who have differences.  Hopefully,
as she grows up, she'll learn to have a broader attitude about the
abilities and uniquenesses of others.  It seems to me that Veronica has
already done the educating and reaching out, and now it's a matter of
Kiana growing up a little, and perhaps her grandmother growing up some
as well.  I would have expected the grandmother to make Kiana say she
was sorry at the bus stop, in

person and not by text messaging, but she chose not to face an awkward
situation.  Too bad, but shrug it off, Veronica and Gab, with the
assurance that you know the truth.

Jo Elizabeth

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed
until it is faced."--James Baldwin
----- Original Message -----
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
To: "blind parents" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:29 PM
Subject: [blparent] coming to my defense

> Ok, this is how it went.  Kiana accused Gab of wearing the same dress 
> 2 days in a row.  Gab said she had not, that the day before she had 
> worn tan pants and her spirit shirt.  Kiana said that Gab had not.  So

> then Gab told her if she didn't believe her, she could ask her mom.  
> So then Kiana told Gab that blind people didn't know anything and they

> were stupid.  Gab said she wanted to hit her, but did not.  Gab told 
> her that blind people could do anything
> except drive.   Gab told her that I knew everything especially what
she 
> wore
> each day.  Kiana just laughed at her and insisted that blind people 
> were nothing.  Of course, my daughter came home in tears.
>
> I tried to convince her that it didn't matter what her friend said, 
> but it mattered to my daughter.  So I called Kiana's grandmother and 
> told her what happened.  She said that her granddaughter didn't mean 
> to offend me.  I saw Kiana at the bus stop this morning and really 
> espected an apology, but there was none coming.  I guess I should be 
> satisfied that her grandmother knew what happened, but it really bugs 
> me. V

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