[blparent] coming to my defense

Thu Apr 23 22:00:11 UTC 2009

Or maybe she is jealous because Gab and I do so many things together and she
and her mother do not. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Thea Eaton
Sent: Thursday, April 23, 2009 1:10 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] coming to my defense

I remember that when I was younger, I had an argument with one of my best
girl-friends about clothes too. The friend was jealous of an outfit that I
wore, and ended up lashing out at me and insulting me on something else,
totally unrelated. I was hurt, but realized that she didn't mean it. I think
most girls have a tiff like that with their friends at times.

I think it is important to remember that teenage girls, are teenage girls,
and to remind her that sometimes friends get mad at each other and can lash
out in a hurtful way. I don't think that it necessarily really had anything
to do with her being blind? But maybe the friend was jealous of the clothes
she was wearing? And maybe didn't want her to wear that outfit? In that case
she could have lashed out in any way, called her fat, etc.. Teenage girls
can be very sensitive about appearances, clothes, hair, and such. I would
definitely encourage Gab to talk to her friend, and ask her what was really
bothering her. If the girl is old enough to realize what she said, I
wouldn't involve the grandmother if she was not there at the time that it
happened, but instead try to have the girls talk to each other and reconcile
in a mature way? Were they good friends before? Maybe you can invite her
over so they can talk about what was really bothering her?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Thursday, April 23, 2009 1:00 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] coming to my defense

Honestly, I feel sorry for Kiana in this situation, as well as Gab.  It's 
true that Gab got her feelings hurt, and Veronica got maligned, but Kiana is

the one who is missing out on people who have differences.  Hopefully, as 
she grows up, she'll learn to have a broader attitude about the abilities 
and uniquenesses of others.  It seems to me that Veronica has already done 
the educating and reaching out, and now it's a matter of Kiana growing up a 
little, and perhaps her grandmother growing up some as well.  I would have 
expected the grandmother to make Kiana say she was sorry at the bus stop, in

person and not by text messaging, but she chose not to face an awkward 
situation.  Too bad, but shrug it off, Veronica and Gab, with the assurance 
that you know the truth.

Jo Elizabeth

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed 
until it is faced."--James Baldwin
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
To: "blind parents" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 10:29 PM
Subject: [blparent] coming to my defense

> Ok, this is how it went.  Kiana accused Gab of wearing the same dress 2 
> days
> in a row.  Gab said she had not, that the day before she had worn tan 
> pants
> and her spirit shirt.  Kiana said that Gab had not.  So then Gab told her 
> if
> she didn't believe her, she could ask her mom.  So then Kiana told Gab 
> that
> blind people didn't know anything and they were stupid.  Gab said she 
> wanted
> to hit her, but did not.  Gab told her that blind people could do anything
> except drive.   Gab told her that I knew everything especially what she 
> wore
> each day.  Kiana just laughed at her and insisted that blind people were
> nothing.  Of course, my daughter came home in tears.
>
> I tried to convince her that it didn't matter what her friend said, but it
> mattered to my daughter.  So I called Kiana's grandmother and told her 
> what
> happened.  She said that her granddaughter didn't mean to offend me.  I 
> saw
> Kiana at the bus stop this morning and really espected an apology, but 
> there
> was none coming.  I guess I should be satisfied that her grandmother knew
> what happened, but it really bugs me. V 

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