[blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for boys

Sat Dec 12 23:29:55 UTC 2009

A good baby monitor would help you a lot.  We've got one that we use for 
Sarah, but it's also helpful to hear what's going on when Stephen is 
upstairs.  The other thing I would suggest is just really paying attention 
to what you hear, and letting your son know you hear things, but maybe in a 
nonconfrontational way.  For example, Stephen has a habit of sneaking junk 
food.  So a couple of times, instead of calling him on it, I'd just wait 
till I heard the cookie jar open or a Popsicle getting unwrapped, and then 
I'd cheerfully call out, "Hey, if you eat another Popsicle, you're going to 
turn into one."  This gave him the idea that I wasn't as easy to fool as he 
thought I might be, and the problem has started to take care of itself. 
Good luck.

Jo Elizabeth

Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify 
the hunters.--African Proverb

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Rhonda Scott" <earthmagic7 at sbcglobal.net>
Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 9:36 AM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for 
boys

> It is challenging. There are a lot of elements here to explain why. Some 
> of
> what he does is what any kid would do, but I confess I have a hard time
> letting go when something major happens, so trust is difficult and my 
> guard
> is up. I'm step mom, real mom treated him badly. So I don't think Deven 
> yet
> realizes what good parenting is.
>
> We have considered a good baby monitor because our business is out back 
> and
> I'm there a lot, with him inside watching TV when it's cold. Perfect
> opportunity to not follow rules. He can pull things over on us then, but 
> we
> want to let him know it doesn't happen often. I think by showing him we 
> know
> about things he thinks he got away with, he might see we aren't easily
> fooled.
>
> As for me, there are things I need to work on about myself, like not 
> always
> feeling suspicious of him unless I see reasons to be. It's exhausting to
> always be looking for the wrongs and not the positives.
>
> Thank you much for your ideas, they're good ones.
>
> Rhonda
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Eileen Levin" <eileenlevin at comcast.net>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 10:37 AM
> Subject: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for boys
>
>
> Buy only parachute clothing or corduroy so he makes noise everytime he
> moves. Pad locks, a barking cookie jar, keep important items in your bed
> room and make it completely off limits to him. Do what ever it takes to
> regain parental control. Even if you had sight this little boy sounds like 
> a
> handful and a challenge.
> Take care,
> Eileen
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
> Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 11:31 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
> Deven is not all that inquisitive or observant like your girl is. He has 
> an
> attention disorder. But if he really enjoys something, he will learn about
> it to a point, or want to do the activity consistently. He does tell his
> friends that both his parents have "fake" eyes though, and they find that
> cool and tell him he's making it up about his dad having them, because 
> they
> can tell with me, but not with his dad's.
>
> The sorts of things I'm talking of are not always good. He will move 
> things
> from where we have them so we can find them easily; keys, my husband's
> tools, my office supplies. He will take candy and food without asking, or 
> if
>
> we tell him no when he wants it, if dinner is close to being served. He 
> has
> a healthy environment with us now, but did not come from 1 when he lived
> with his biological mom. So we are working on helping him feel secure, be
> honest, not exaggerate things that happen, and know that we love and 
> accept
> him for who he is, not someone he thinks he needs to say he is. If all of
> that makes sense.
>
> He's very smart when he feels like applying himself. But he gives up on 
> the
> things that challenge him. When he's good at something like a sport or a
> game, he is overly competitive, to the point of becoming frustrated and
> sometimes angry if he loses. So it's going to take time and work from all 
> of
>
> us to build him up. I think family time together will help with that.
>
> Rhonda
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (IS)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 10:17 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
>
> Ronda,
> He may not care how well you thro a ball or frisby, he may just want the
> time with you. I wasn't the truck playing type until my daughter
> discovered them and really likes it. So now we play trucks together.
> Will I ever like it as much as she does, probably not. Still, I enjoy
> the time with her and it's fun seeing how her mind works.
> Maybe you could ask him to help you throw and he'd probably like that
> because even if you never do it well, you're showing him that you care
> about him, and that you value what he knows, and we all like that.  My
> daughter is into puzzles, the kind where you have a picture and you have
> to make the pieces be like the picture. She loves to "help you make
> puzzle Mommy!". She's so serious about it too, that I think we have a
> future teacher or something.
> I'm curious, what stuff does he do thinking you won't notice? My little
> girl has begun asking about my eyes. She asked me if the doctor could
> fix Mommy's eyes, then if batteries could do it, and then if Daddy could
> do it. We then started talking about foods, and she told me she didn't
> like carrots and I said "Carrots are good for your eyes" and she said
> "my eyes not broken Mommy, you eyes broken!".
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
> Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 6:40 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
> It does feel complicated. I have a similar situation with our 10 year
> old.
> He loves war games and anything to do with computer games, TV, Wii, PS2
> and
> movies. It's difficult to keep his attention, but he says often how he
> would
> like to spend time doing things with us. So we're trying to find things
> that
> are interactive, will pull him away from video games and TV, but will
> also
> hold his attention. All you can do is keep trying, and share your
> frustrations with others who understand them. That's where I'm at right
> now
> too.
>
> Deven likes things for a short time, has a lot of broken toys he played
> too
> rough with. That's frustrating too because I have problems buying him
> new
> things when I'm afraid he will destroy them, whether on accident or on
> purpose. Kids like expensive things now, so it's hard to justify
> spending if
> it will be broken in a week or 2, plus it hurts our feelings, frustrates
> us
> and makes us angry. But I think there are answers and solutions, we just
>
> need to find them somewhere, somehow.
>
> I really want to show Deven that the blindness thing is not a huge
> obstacle
> in terms of parenting him. All kids will test, and I find myself paying
> close attention to him because he tries to test often, doing things he
> thinks we won't notice. I want to interact with him more, but I am not
> the
> ball playing type, and I can't throw a frisbee worth beans. I think it's
>
> important for us, here, to show him we are parents, not blind parents,
> if
> that makes sense. But I have turned this into a completely different
> topic,
> I see. LOL
>
> Rhonda
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Allison (NFBA)" <nfbarizona at gmail.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 4:26 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
>
> Thanks all for suggestions.
>
> Are the nurf balls still fun (and safe) for us to play with if they
> don't
> have bells in them?  Has anyone tried this?
>
> I'll check out the discovery toys link.  Does anyone have specific
> suggestions in terms of discovery toys?  I feel a little overwhelmed by
> all
> the choices.  Also I need something fairly high action to hold the
> little
> guy's interest.  He's used to the fast-paced nature of World of Warcraft
> and
> Wii games.  He's a smart kid though.  Grade level in reading and a grade
> ahead in math.
>
> We do have Braille cards that we play Go Fish and War with.  He loves Go
> Fish.  We have Uno too but he gets bored quickly with that because the
> games
> can run so long.  We also have the Freeze-up talking category game that
> he
> loved for like a week and now never looks at.  *sigh*.  This feels so
> complicated.
>
> Thanks again,
> Allison
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, December 09, 2009 7:35 PM
> Subject: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
>
>>I was at Walmart today and scooping out the toy section and saw some
> really
>> cool stuff that an 8 year old would love.
>> Fur Real Friends had a dinosaur.  You put your hand or finger in its
> mough
>> and it bites down on you and makes a sound like it is eating your
> hand.
>> They also had dogs and cats, monkeys and other critters.
>> They have Nerf balls and basketball rims and of course my absolute
>> favorite
>> Hot Wheel sets.  These are all the things I love to play with, with
> Gab.
>> You can be sighted or blind and have a great time with your
> imagination.
>> Alison, you can also buy regular playing cars that are Braille and
> play
>> games like Go Fish, Crazy Eights and of course War.
>> V
>>
>>
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