[blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for boys

Sun Dec 13 04:08:13 UTC 2009

I know what you're going through.  I've found a slice of pizza under the bed 
once that was a few weeks old, along with other ancient food items.  Yuck!

Jo Elizabeth

Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify 
the hunters.--African Proverb

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Rhonda Scott" <earthmagic7 at sbcglobal.net>
Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 7:51 PM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for 
boys

> Hey, great job! I just need to lighten up a little and have a sense of 
> humor
> about things, though they are serious things. Like I said, I don't like
> feeling like an old tyrant. Deven sneaks junk food a lot too, and he 
> sneaks
> food into the living room against the rules, after multiple messes were
> found, and into his room, which is absolutely off limits for food.
>
> I'm also keeping the evidence when I find it, so when I talk to him about 
> it
> he can't lie and say it wasn't him.
>
> Rhonda
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at pcdesk.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 6:29 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for
> boys
>
>
> A good baby monitor would help you a lot.  We've got one that we use for
> Sarah, but it's also helpful to hear what's going on when Stephen is
> upstairs.  The other thing I would suggest is just really paying attention
> to what you hear, and letting your son know you hear things, but maybe in 
> a
> nonconfrontational way.  For example, Stephen has a habit of sneaking junk
> food.  So a couple of times, instead of calling him on it, I'd just wait
> till I heard the cookie jar open or a Popsicle getting unwrapped, and then
> I'd cheerfully call out, "Hey, if you eat another Popsicle, you're going 
> to
> turn into one."  This gave him the idea that I wasn't as easy to fool as 
> he
> thought I might be, and the problem has started to take care of itself.
> Good luck.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify
> the hunters.--African Proverb
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Rhonda Scott" <earthmagic7 at sbcglobal.net>
> Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 9:36 AM
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for
> boys
>
>> It is challenging. There are a lot of elements here to explain why. Some
>> of
>> what he does is what any kid would do, but I confess I have a hard time
>> letting go when something major happens, so trust is difficult and my
>> guard
>> is up. I'm step mom, real mom treated him badly. So I don't think Deven
>> yet
>> realizes what good parenting is.
>>
>> We have considered a good baby monitor because our business is out back
>> and
>> I'm there a lot, with him inside watching TV when it's cold. Perfect
>> opportunity to not follow rules. He can pull things over on us then, but
>> we
>> want to let him know it doesn't happen often. I think by showing him we
>> know
>> about things he thinks he got away with, he might see we aren't easily
>> fooled.
>>
>> As for me, there are things I need to work on about myself, like not
>> always
>> feeling suspicious of him unless I see reasons to be. It's exhausting to
>> always be looking for the wrongs and not the positives.
>>
>> Thank you much for your ideas, they're good ones.
>>
>> Rhonda
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Eileen Levin" <eileenlevin at comcast.net>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 10:37 AM
>> Subject: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for boys
>>
>>
>> Buy only parachute clothing or corduroy so he makes noise everytime he
>> moves. Pad locks, a barking cookie jar, keep important items in your bed
>> room and make it completely off limits to him. Do what ever it takes to
>> regain parental control. Even if you had sight this little boy sounds 
>> like
>> a
>> handful and a challenge.
>> Take care,
>> Eileen
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
>> Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 11:31 AM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>>
>> Deven is not all that inquisitive or observant like your girl is. He has
>> an
>> attention disorder. But if he really enjoys something, he will learn 
>> about
>> it to a point, or want to do the activity consistently. He does tell his
>> friends that both his parents have "fake" eyes though, and they find that
>> cool and tell him he's making it up about his dad having them, because
>> they
>> can tell with me, but not with his dad's.
>>
>> The sorts of things I'm talking of are not always good. He will move
>> things
>> from where we have them so we can find them easily; keys, my husband's
>> tools, my office supplies. He will take candy and food without asking, or
>> if
>>
>> we tell him no when he wants it, if dinner is close to being served. He
>> has
>> a healthy environment with us now, but did not come from 1 when he lived
>> with his biological mom. So we are working on helping him feel secure, be
>> honest, not exaggerate things that happen, and know that we love and
>> accept
>> him for who he is, not someone he thinks he needs to say he is. If all of
>> that makes sense.
>>
>> He's very smart when he feels like applying himself. But he gives up on
>> the
>> things that challenge him. When he's good at something like a sport or a
>> game, he is overly competitive, to the point of becoming frustrated and
>> sometimes angry if he loses. So it's going to take time and work from all
>> of
>>
>> us to build him up. I think family time together will help with that.
>>
>> Rhonda
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (IS)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 10:17 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>>
>>
>> Ronda,
>> He may not care how well you thro a ball or frisby, he may just want the
>> time with you. I wasn't the truck playing type until my daughter
>> discovered them and really likes it. So now we play trucks together.
>> Will I ever like it as much as she does, probably not. Still, I enjoy
>> the time with her and it's fun seeing how her mind works.
>> Maybe you could ask him to help you throw and he'd probably like that
>> because even if you never do it well, you're showing him that you care
>> about him, and that you value what he knows, and we all like that.  My
>> daughter is into puzzles, the kind where you have a picture and you have
>> to make the pieces be like the picture. She loves to "help you make
>> puzzle Mommy!". She's so serious about it too, that I think we have a
>> future teacher or something.
>> I'm curious, what stuff does he do thinking you won't notice? My little
>> girl has begun asking about my eyes. She asked me if the doctor could
>> fix Mommy's eyes, then if batteries could do it, and then if Daddy could
>> do it. We then started talking about foods, and she told me she didn't
>> like carrots and I said "Carrots are good for your eyes" and she said
>> "my eyes not broken Mommy, you eyes broken!".
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
>> Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 6:40 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>>
>> It does feel complicated. I have a similar situation with our 10 year
>> old.
>> He loves war games and anything to do with computer games, TV, Wii, PS2
>> and
>> movies. It's difficult to keep his attention, but he says often how he
>> would
>> like to spend time doing things with us. So we're trying to find things
>> that
>> are interactive, will pull him away from video games and TV, but will
>> also
>> hold his attention. All you can do is keep trying, and share your
>> frustrations with others who understand them. That's where I'm at right
>> now
>> too.
>>
>> Deven likes things for a short time, has a lot of broken toys he played
>> too
>> rough with. That's frustrating too because I have problems buying him
>> new
>> things when I'm afraid he will destroy them, whether on accident or on
>> purpose. Kids like expensive things now, so it's hard to justify
>> spending if
>> it will be broken in a week or 2, plus it hurts our feelings, frustrates
>> us
>> and makes us angry. But I think there are answers and solutions, we just
>>
>> need to find them somewhere, somehow.
>>
>> I really want to show Deven that the blindness thing is not a huge
>> obstacle
>> in terms of parenting him. All kids will test, and I find myself paying
>> close attention to him because he tries to test often, doing things he
>> thinks we won't notice. I want to interact with him more, but I am not
>> the
>> ball playing type, and I can't throw a frisbee worth beans. I think it's
>>
>> important for us, here, to show him we are parents, not blind parents,
>> if
>> that makes sense. But I have turned this into a completely different
>> topic,
>> I see. LOL
>>
>> Rhonda
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Allison (NFBA)" <nfbarizona at gmail.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 4:26 PM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>>
>>
>> Thanks all for suggestions.
>>
>> Are the nurf balls still fun (and safe) for us to play with if they
>> don't
>> have bells in them?  Has anyone tried this?
>>
>> I'll check out the discovery toys link.  Does anyone have specific
>> suggestions in terms of discovery toys?  I feel a little overwhelmed by
>> all
>> the choices.  Also I need something fairly high action to hold the
>> little
>> guy's interest.  He's used to the fast-paced nature of World of Warcraft
>> and
>> Wii games.  He's a smart kid though.  Grade level in reading and a grade
>> ahead in math.
>>
>> We do have Braille cards that we play Go Fish and War with.  He loves Go
>> Fish.  We have Uno too but he gets bored quickly with that because the
>> games
>> can run so long.  We also have the Freeze-up talking category game that
>> he
>> loved for like a week and now never looks at.  *sigh*.  This feels so
>> complicated.
>>
>> Thanks again,
>> Allison
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Wednesday, December 09, 2009 7:35 PM
>> Subject: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>>
>>
>>>I was at Walmart today and scooping out the toy section and saw some
>> really
>>> cool stuff that an 8 year old would love.
>>> Fur Real Friends had a dinosaur.  You put your hand or finger in its
>> mough
>>> and it bites down on you and makes a sound like it is eating your
>> hand.
>>> They also had dogs and cats, monkeys and other critters.
>>> They have Nerf balls and basketball rims and of course my absolute
>>> favorite
>>> Hot Wheel sets.  These are all the things I love to play with, with
>> Gab.
>>> You can be sighted or blind and have a great time with your
>> imagination.
>>> Alison, you can also buy regular playing cars that are Braille and
>> play
>>> games like Go Fish, Crazy Eights and of course War.
>>> V
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> blparent mailing list
>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>> blparent:
>>>
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/nfbarizona%40g
>> mail.com
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/earthmagic7%40
>> sbcglobal.net
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/rebecca.pickre
>> ll%40ngc.com
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/earthmagic7%40sbcg
>> lobal.net
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/eileenlevin%40comc
>> ast.net
>> No virus found in this incoming message.
>> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
>> Version: 8.5.427 / Virus Database: 270.14.104/2560 - Release Date:
>> 12/12/09
>> 07:38:00
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/earthmagic7%40sbcglobal.net
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40pcdesk.net
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/earthmagic7%40sbcglobal.net
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40pcdesk.net
> 