[blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for boys

Sun Dec 13 20:54:21 UTC 2009

They all sneak food into the living room. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 7:51 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for
boys

Hey, great job! I just need to lighten up a little and have a sense of humor

about things, though they are serious things. Like I said, I don't like 
feeling like an old tyrant. Deven sneaks junk food a lot too, and he sneaks 
food into the living room against the rules, after multiple messes were 
found, and into his room, which is absolutely off limits for food.

I'm also keeping the evidence when I find it, so when I talk to him about it

he can't lie and say it wasn't him.

Rhonda

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at pcdesk.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 6:29 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for 
boys

A good baby monitor would help you a lot.  We've got one that we use for
Sarah, but it's also helpful to hear what's going on when Stephen is
upstairs.  The other thing I would suggest is just really paying attention
to what you hear, and letting your son know you hear things, but maybe in a
nonconfrontational way.  For example, Stephen has a habit of sneaking junk
food.  So a couple of times, instead of calling him on it, I'd just wait
till I heard the cookie jar open or a Popsicle getting unwrapped, and then
I'd cheerfully call out, "Hey, if you eat another Popsicle, you're going to
turn into one."  This gave him the idea that I wasn't as easy to fool as he
thought I might be, and the problem has started to take care of itself.
Good luck.

Jo Elizabeth

Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify
the hunters.--African Proverb

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Rhonda Scott" <earthmagic7 at sbcglobal.net>
Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 9:36 AM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for
boys

> It is challenging. There are a lot of elements here to explain why. Some
> of
> what he does is what any kid would do, but I confess I have a hard time
> letting go when something major happens, so trust is difficult and my
> guard
> is up. I'm step mom, real mom treated him badly. So I don't think Deven
> yet
> realizes what good parenting is.
>
> We have considered a good baby monitor because our business is out back
> and
> I'm there a lot, with him inside watching TV when it's cold. Perfect
> opportunity to not follow rules. He can pull things over on us then, but
> we
> want to let him know it doesn't happen often. I think by showing him we
> know
> about things he thinks he got away with, he might see we aren't easily
> fooled.
>
> As for me, there are things I need to work on about myself, like not
> always
> feeling suspicious of him unless I see reasons to be. It's exhausting to
> always be looking for the wrongs and not the positives.
>
> Thank you much for your ideas, they're good ones.
>
> Rhonda
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Eileen Levin" <eileenlevin at comcast.net>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Saturday, December 12, 2009 10:37 AM
> Subject: [blparent] regaining parental control was RE: fun stuff for boys
>
>
> Buy only parachute clothing or corduroy so he makes noise everytime he
> moves. Pad locks, a barking cookie jar, keep important items in your bed
> room and make it completely off limits to him. Do what ever it takes to
> regain parental control. Even if you had sight this little boy sounds like
> a
> handful and a challenge.
> Take care,
> Eileen
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
> Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 11:31 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
> Deven is not all that inquisitive or observant like your girl is. He has
> an
> attention disorder. But if he really enjoys something, he will learn about
> it to a point, or want to do the activity consistently. He does tell his
> friends that both his parents have "fake" eyes though, and they find that
> cool and tell him he's making it up about his dad having them, because
> they
> can tell with me, but not with his dad's.
>
> The sorts of things I'm talking of are not always good. He will move
> things
> from where we have them so we can find them easily; keys, my husband's
> tools, my office supplies. He will take candy and food without asking, or
> if
>
> we tell him no when he wants it, if dinner is close to being served. He
> has
> a healthy environment with us now, but did not come from 1 when he lived
> with his biological mom. So we are working on helping him feel secure, be
> honest, not exaggerate things that happen, and know that we love and
> accept
> him for who he is, not someone he thinks he needs to say he is. If all of
> that makes sense.
>
> He's very smart when he feels like applying himself. But he gives up on
> the
> things that challenge him. When he's good at something like a sport or a
> game, he is overly competitive, to the point of becoming frustrated and
> sometimes angry if he loses. So it's going to take time and work from all
> of
>
> us to build him up. I think family time together will help with that.
>
> Rhonda
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (IS)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 10:17 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
>
> Ronda,
> He may not care how well you thro a ball or frisby, he may just want the
> time with you. I wasn't the truck playing type until my daughter
> discovered them and really likes it. So now we play trucks together.
> Will I ever like it as much as she does, probably not. Still, I enjoy
> the time with her and it's fun seeing how her mind works.
> Maybe you could ask him to help you throw and he'd probably like that
> because even if you never do it well, you're showing him that you care
> about him, and that you value what he knows, and we all like that.  My
> daughter is into puzzles, the kind where you have a picture and you have
> to make the pieces be like the picture. She loves to "help you make
> puzzle Mommy!". She's so serious about it too, that I think we have a
> future teacher or something.
> I'm curious, what stuff does he do thinking you won't notice? My little
> girl has begun asking about my eyes. She asked me if the doctor could
> fix Mommy's eyes, then if batteries could do it, and then if Daddy could
> do it. We then started talking about foods, and she told me she didn't
> like carrots and I said "Carrots are good for your eyes" and she said
> "my eyes not broken Mommy, you eyes broken!".
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
> Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 6:40 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
> It does feel complicated. I have a similar situation with our 10 year
> old.
> He loves war games and anything to do with computer games, TV, Wii, PS2
> and
> movies. It's difficult to keep his attention, but he says often how he
> would
> like to spend time doing things with us. So we're trying to find things
> that
> are interactive, will pull him away from video games and TV, but will
> also
> hold his attention. All you can do is keep trying, and share your
> frustrations with others who understand them. That's where I'm at right
> now
> too.
>
> Deven likes things for a short time, has a lot of broken toys he played
> too
> rough with. That's frustrating too because I have problems buying him
> new
> things when I'm afraid he will destroy them, whether on accident or on
> purpose. Kids like expensive things now, so it's hard to justify
> spending if
> it will be broken in a week or 2, plus it hurts our feelings, frustrates
> us
> and makes us angry. But I think there are answers and solutions, we just
>
> need to find them somewhere, somehow.
>
> I really want to show Deven that the blindness thing is not a huge
> obstacle
> in terms of parenting him. All kids will test, and I find myself paying
> close attention to him because he tries to test often, doing things he
> thinks we won't notice. I want to interact with him more, but I am not
> the
> ball playing type, and I can't throw a frisbee worth beans. I think it's
>
> important for us, here, to show him we are parents, not blind parents,
> if
> that makes sense. But I have turned this into a completely different
> topic,
> I see. LOL
>
> Rhonda
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Allison (NFBA)" <nfbarizona at gmail.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Thursday, December 10, 2009 4:26 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
>
> Thanks all for suggestions.
>
> Are the nurf balls still fun (and safe) for us to play with if they
> don't
> have bells in them?  Has anyone tried this?
>
> I'll check out the discovery toys link.  Does anyone have specific
> suggestions in terms of discovery toys?  I feel a little overwhelmed by
> all
> the choices.  Also I need something fairly high action to hold the
> little
> guy's interest.  He's used to the fast-paced nature of World of Warcraft
> and
> Wii games.  He's a smart kid though.  Grade level in reading and a grade
> ahead in math.
>
> We do have Braille cards that we play Go Fish and War with.  He loves Go
> Fish.  We have Uno too but he gets bored quickly with that because the
> games
> can run so long.  We also have the Freeze-up talking category game that
> he
> loved for like a week and now never looks at.  *sigh*.  This feels so
> complicated.
>
> Thanks again,
> Allison
>
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, December 09, 2009 7:35 PM
> Subject: [blparent] fun stuff for boys
>
>
>>I was at Walmart today and scooping out the toy section and saw some
> really
>> cool stuff that an 8 year old would love.
>> Fur Real Friends had a dinosaur.  You put your hand or finger in its
> mough
>> and it bites down on you and makes a sound like it is eating your
> hand.
>> They also had dogs and cats, monkeys and other critters.
>> They have Nerf balls and basketball rims and of course my absolute
>> favorite
>> Hot Wheel sets.  These are all the things I love to play with, with
> Gab.
>> You can be sighted or blind and have a great time with your
> imagination.
>> Alison, you can also buy regular playing cars that are Braille and
> play
>> games like Go Fish, Crazy Eights and of course War.
>> V
>>
>>
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