[blparent] thanks for the advice

[Anjelina]

Maybe I'm worrying for nothing.
Thanks for your suggestions and advice. 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Dena Wainwright
Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2009 1:04 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)

One thing I would suggest, particularly if you don't know who will be
delivering your baby, is to put together a birth plan and bring it with you
to the hospital. our birth plan was a page long, and contained information
about our preferences regarding the labor, delivery, and post-natal care for
me and the baby. some of the things we included were that we wanted my
husband to be given the option to cut the cord, that one of us needed to be
present when they did anything to the baby, that we planned to breastfeed
(because sometimes they will offer a baby formula if they don't know this),
etc. we also put in some very specific highlights about my medical
history--such as the fact that I cannot have epidurals. the birth plan will
clearly express your wishes, which will be especially important if you are
unable to make decisions on your own for whatever reason. also, things can
change dramatically when you are in labor--pain is definitely a strange
animal.

another thing I would suggest is that you bring a coach or doulah into the
delivery room with you. this person will be a constent, no matter who
performs the delivery, and he or she can advocate on your behalf.

I also agree with what has already been said regarding visiting your
hospital ahead of time to get a feel for the facilities and the staff. for
instance, do they promote rooming in, do they promote moving around during
labor, what is their c-section rate, etc.

I also agree that emphasizing your blindness will often make other people
focus on it. our birth plan did not say anything about my blindness.

I had an absolutely phenominal hospital experience. not a single person
questioned my ability to care for Elise, and no one made any issue of my
asking to be shown how to do things. even when I sent Jason home for the
night to get some good sleep, no one freaked out about "the sighted parent" 
leaving me alone with our newborn. no one incinuated that I wouldn't be able
to breastfeed, or treated me any differently because of my blindness. the
only thing they did to accommodate me was that they had each nurse introduce
the nurse for the upcoming shift to me when she left for the day, so I would
know that the person coming into my room was a hospital employee.

the other amazing thing they did, is that the midwife I had seen throughout
my pregnancy rearranged her schedule so she could be there for our birth, so
I would feel as secure as possible. the staff was incredible at describing
everything they were doing to me and to the baby. I felt absolutely
comfortable and relaxed--totally in control of the whole process.

finally, questions about support are standard. a lot of the reason why they
are asked, is that professionals want to know what sort of environment the
baby will be coming home to, and they also want to make sure a new mother
isn't isolated (making her more vulnerable to post-natal depression).

hope some of this helps.

Dena


----- Original Message -----
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at pcdesk.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2009 10:10 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)


> Hi, Angelina.  If you haven't done so, consider taking a childbirth class 
> at the hospital where you will be delivering.  This will not only give you

> an idea of what to expect, but it will also start to get you acquainted 
> with some of the nurses and staff.  That way, your blindness won't be 
> encountered for the first time when you are admitted for labor and 
> delivery.  Also, don't assume every question about your support system at 
> home is getting asked just because of your blindness.  When a woman has a 
> baby, especially if she is alone, she needs help--physically and 
> emotionally--when she goes home, blind or not.  If you don't have family 
> nearby, lean on your friends. Be specific in what you need.  People want 
> to help, but they say, "Call me if you need anything."  Then you don't 
> know what to ask for, or when to call.  Suggest that your friends could 
> drop over for short visits, maybe bring prepared or frozen meals.  But 
> anyway, don't assume the doctors or nurses are asking you about your 
> support system because of your blindness. I had a few ask me if I would 
> have help at home, I just said yes, and that was the end of the matter.
>
> Good luck,
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> It is easy--terribly easy--to shake a man's faith in himself. To take 
> advantage of that to break a man's spirit is devil's work. Take care of 
> what you are doing. Take care.--George Bernard Shaw in "Candide"
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Anjelina" <cruz.anjelina at mchsi.com>
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2009 12:25 AM
> Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
>
>
>> Hi there list,
>> I'm due next month and was wondering did you take any additional steps 
>> for
>> dealing with people that might be uncomfortable with blindness? The 
>> doctor
>> I've been seeing me throughout my pregnancy will not be delivering so I 
>> was
>> looking for any suggestions for dealing with a new hospital on such short
>> notice.
>> Hope that makes sense.
>
>
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