[blparent] thanks for the advice

Wed Jan 7 00:54:43 UTC 2009

Hi,
Don't feel bad about worrying for nothing if that's what you're doing.  I am 
due next month too, and I think there must be a hormone that makes us worry 
about everything all the time that gets released in to our pregnant brains 
about this time.  Honestly, you should be concentrating on that little baby 
inside of you who will need you to take care of him or her after he or she 
is born, and everything else will fall in to place for you.  Just stay calm, 
learn as much as you can from the nurses and staff in the hospital, and have 
as much support around you as you can get especially after you come home 
with the baby.  Remember that if you get asked questions it may not be 
because of your blindness, and remember too, that it's okay for you not to 
know the answers to some questions people may ask you.  You're a first time 
parent, and you're not supposed to have all the answers.

hth

Tammy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Anjelina" <cruz.anjelina at mchsi.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2009 4:27 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] thanks for the advice

> Maybe I'm worrying for nothing.
> Thanks for your suggestions and advice.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Dena Wainwright
> Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2009 1:04 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>
> One thing I would suggest, particularly if you don't know who will be
> delivering your baby, is to put together a birth plan and bring it with 
> you
> to the hospital. our birth plan was a page long, and contained information
> about our preferences regarding the labor, delivery, and post-natal care 
> for
> me and the baby. some of the things we included were that we wanted my
> husband to be given the option to cut the cord, that one of us needed to 
> be
> present when they did anything to the baby, that we planned to breastfeed
> (because sometimes they will offer a baby formula if they don't know 
> this),
> etc. we also put in some very specific highlights about my medical
> history--such as the fact that I cannot have epidurals. the birth plan 
> will
> clearly express your wishes, which will be especially important if you are
> unable to make decisions on your own for whatever reason. also, things can
> change dramatically when you are in labor--pain is definitely a strange
> animal.
>
> another thing I would suggest is that you bring a coach or doulah into the
> delivery room with you. this person will be a constent, no matter who
> performs the delivery, and he or she can advocate on your behalf.
>
> I also agree with what has already been said regarding visiting your
> hospital ahead of time to get a feel for the facilities and the staff. for
> instance, do they promote rooming in, do they promote moving around during
> labor, what is their c-section rate, etc.
>
> I also agree that emphasizing your blindness will often make other people
> focus on it. our birth plan did not say anything about my blindness.
>
> I had an absolutely phenominal hospital experience. not a single person
> questioned my ability to care for Elise, and no one made any issue of my
> asking to be shown how to do things. even when I sent Jason home for the
> night to get some good sleep, no one freaked out about "the sighted 
> parent"
> leaving me alone with our newborn. no one incinuated that I wouldn't be 
> able
> to breastfeed, or treated me any differently because of my blindness. the
> only thing they did to accommodate me was that they had each nurse 
> introduce
> the nurse for the upcoming shift to me when she left for the day, so I 
> would
> know that the person coming into my room was a hospital employee.
>
> the other amazing thing they did, is that the midwife I had seen 
> throughout
> my pregnancy rearranged her schedule so she could be there for our birth, 
> so
> I would feel as secure as possible. the staff was incredible at describing
> everything they were doing to me and to the baby. I felt absolutely
> comfortable and relaxed--totally in control of the whole process.
>
> finally, questions about support are standard. a lot of the reason why 
> they
> are asked, is that professionals want to know what sort of environment the
> baby will be coming home to, and they also want to make sure a new mother
> isn't isolated (making her more vulnerable to post-natal depression).
>
> hope some of this helps.
>
> Dena
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at pcdesk.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2009 10:10 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] (no subject)
>
>
>> Hi, Angelina.  If you haven't done so, consider taking a childbirth class
>> at the hospital where you will be delivering.  This will not only give 
>> you
>
>> an idea of what to expect, but it will also start to get you acquainted
>> with some of the nurses and staff.  That way, your blindness won't be
>> encountered for the first time when you are admitted for labor and
>> delivery.  Also, don't assume every question about your support system at
>> home is getting asked just because of your blindness.  When a woman has a
>> baby, especially if she is alone, she needs help--physically and
>> emotionally--when she goes home, blind or not.  If you don't have family
>> nearby, lean on your friends. Be specific in what you need.  People want
>> to help, but they say, "Call me if you need anything."  Then you don't
>> know what to ask for, or when to call.  Suggest that your friends could
>> drop over for short visits, maybe bring prepared or frozen meals.  But
>> anyway, don't assume the doctors or nurses are asking you about your
>> support system because of your blindness. I had a few ask me if I would
>> have help at home, I just said yes, and that was the end of the matter.
>>
>> Good luck,
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> It is easy--terribly easy--to shake a man's faith in himself. To take
>> advantage of that to break a man's spirit is devil's work. Take care of
>> what you are doing. Take care.--George Bernard Shaw in "Candide"
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Anjelina" <cruz.anjelina at mchsi.com>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, January 06, 2009 12:25 AM
>> Subject: [blparent] (no subject)
>>
>>
>>> Hi there list,
>>> I'm due next month and was wondering did you take any additional steps
>>> for
>>> dealing with people that might be uncomfortable with blindness? The
>>> doctor
>>> I've been seeing me throughout my pregnancy will not be delivering so I
>>> was
>>> looking for any suggestions for dealing with a new hospital on such 
>>> short
>>> notice.
>>> Hope that makes sense.
>>
>>
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