[blparent] fear/anticipation of birth

Thu Jan 15 01:00:14 UTC 2009

Hi.
I have to agree. I don't think I've met a first-time mom who wasn't at least 
a bit afraid of some aspect of becoming a new parent. I know I was worried 
about the pain of labor, whether or not something would go wrong with either 
me or the baby during delivery, how I would handle caring for such a 
helpless, little person, etc. I don't think this fear has anything to do 
with being blind--I think it's just a normal part of the process for all 
people. Just the other day, I asked my husband if he remembered how 
terrified we were when we brought Elise home that we would break her...
Dena

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tammy, Paul and Colyn" <tcl189 at rogers.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 6:35 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Questions about purchasing baby items

> Hi,
>
> Well, you're the very first mother I know, and I know lots of mothers, who 
> wasn't scared or at least a little worried about being a first time 
> parent. As for you having a supportive husband, being able to talk and 
> make informed decisions together is the way you support each other. 
> That's him being supportive of you and you being supportive of him.  But 
> you've lost the point of my message.  The subject was purchasing baby 
> items, not when should I give my baby medacin.
>
> Tammy
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M. (TASCSD)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 3:31 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Questions about purchasing baby items
>
>
>> Tammy,
>> I wasn't scared during the last of my pregnancy. Why would I be?
>> Second, my husband doesn't support me. We both make informed decitions
>> and talk about them.
>> And I wasn't scared by new motherhood. I was shocked at how primitive a
>> newborn is, but that was more like "Wow, it's amazing the human race
>> survived"
>> I've also had friends who do really dumb things because they don't know
>> they can seek help.
>> Anjilina's goal now needs to be making sure she has people in her
>> community she trusts.
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Tammy, Paul and Colyn
>> Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 1:15 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Questions about purchasing baby items
>>
>> Hi,
>>
>> Rebecca, this is not  amedical list, it's a parenting one.  The original
>> question was not a medical one, it was a question about how to give
>> medacin when needed.  I'm sure we can rest assured that Angelina's
>> doctors will advise her when and when not to give medacin.  Your posts,
>> while they may contain some useful information for some people, may also
>> make mothers to be scared and unsure of what they are doing at a time
>> when we neede to be a help and a confidence boost to them.  Most of us
>> remember this feeling as we've been through it before, but for a first
>> time mother and a single parent this time can be overwhelming and very
>> scarey.  I think it's important to give people the facts, but you also
>> need to take feelings in to account here, and think about how much
>> information is too much information at one time.  I know your intentions
>> were good, but remember back when you were at the end stage of your
>> pregnancy, I know, you only knew for the 6 weeks leading up to your
>> baby's birth, but remember how scared you were, and all the things you
>> had to think about.  Then think about all of that again, only imagine
>> yourself with no husband to support you.  I hope you get my point, and I
>> hope you dohn't think I'm trying to be harsh or unkind.  I'm certainly
>> not!  I'm trying to consider the feelings of somebody who might be a
>> little more scared then they'd like to admit, and I'm thinking of how I
>> would feel in there position, because I remember it very well, and not
>> too fondly.
>>
>> Tammy
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M. (TASCSD)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 10:39 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Questions about purchasing baby items
>>
>>
>>> Debbie,
>>> You misread my intent.
>>> What I was trying to convey is that newborns shouldn't need medicine.
>>> With a cranky older baby, you can easily say "A shot of tyenol will
>>> help".
>>> This isn't true of a newborn.
>>> We were told no medicine for a newborn, ad if we felt we needed
>> medicine
>>> that that in and of itself was a problem.
>>> This was lifted after two months.
>>> My point is that while Anjelina does need to figure out how she will
>>> administer meds, she doesn't need to think that the first thing she
>> will
>>> do is dole them out right away.
>>> If she does feel that medicine would help, the baby cries "too much"
>> or
>>> "won't sleep" or any other thinking, she does need to seek medical
>>> advice.
>>> Knowing what is and isn't normal is far more important at this stage
>>> then how to administer medicine. That can be learned quickly.
>>> Please reread my post and do not misquote me.
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On Behalf Of Deborah Kent Stein
>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 9:23 AM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Questions about purchasing baby items
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Hi, Angelina,
>>>
>>> I remember being a mother-to-be and feeling anxious about what I would
>>> do if my baby got sick.  Sighted people were endlessly asking me how I
>>> would handle emergencies, how I would get her to the ER if she was
>> hurt
>>> or ill and there was nobody around to drive, how I would take her
>> temp,
>>> and of course, how I would measure medicine.  I wanted above all
>> things
>>> to be a good mom and to keep my baby healthy and safe, so I would
>>> probably have been thinking about all of those things anyway, but the
>>> worries of the people around me certainly kept it high on my horizon!
>>> It is not surprising to me at all that you are thinking about how you
>>> will give medicine if you need to.  I don't think it suggests "an
>>> underlying problem," I think it indicates that like any conscientious
>>> mother you want to do your very best.
>>>
>>> And I'm confident that you will!
>>>
>>> Debbie
>>>
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M. (TASCSD)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 7:24 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Questions about purchasing baby items
>>>
>>>
>>>> Hi Anjilina. Here are my thoughts;
>>>> 1. If you've got time to come up with a theme for your newborn's
>> room,
>>>> you've got time to get your ducks in a row regarding the hospital,
>>>> finding a peditritian, and if you plan to work, finding childcare.
>>> Take
>>>> care of that first.
>>>> 2. Newborns don't care about the theme of their room. There is a law
>>>> that says, the more time and money you spend on it, the less your
>> baby
>>>> will sleep there.
>>>> 3. The absolutes that you need to have are these;
>>>> 1 diapers
>>>> 2 carseat
>>>> 3 clothes
>>>> 4 wipes which can be as simple as cut up cloth and water
>>>> 5. a disposal system for human waste
>>>> 5. You shouldn't have to give your newborn medicine unless there is a
>>>> condition that you know of now. Even tyenol is a bad idea until two
>>>> months, or so we were told. If you think you need to give your
>> newborn
>>>> meds, you have an underlying problem which needs to be addressed.
>>>> 6. You will never "have everything you need". There will be things
>> you
>>>> think of after the baby is born. Also, babies and children change
>> over
>>>> time. What you need for anewborn will not be what you need for a
>>> toddler
>>>> and so it goes.
>>>>
>>>> Given your situation, I'd not worry about the theme for your baby's
>>>> room. We didn't have one as we didn't have time.
>>>> You will also want a crib, though you probably don't *need* one right
>>>> away. What you will need is aplace to put the baby and if money is an
>>>> issue, I'd suggest a bucket carseat as it will give you both acarseat
>>> as
>>>> well as a seat for the baby.
>>>> Btw, didn't you also have another baby shower? What happened to those
>>>> gifts? Look and see what you got in that stash, you do not need to
>>>> reinvent the wheel here.
>>>> You'll be fine.
>>>> Lastly, Veronica says you tried to write me privately. If you did, I
>>>> never got a note, hence could not respond.
>>>> The most important thing your child needs is lots of physical
>> contact,
>>>> food, and a clean butt.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>> On Behalf Of Anjelina
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 3:03 AM
>>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>> Subject: [blparent] Questions about purchasing baby items
>>>>
>>>> 1. Did you use a theme for your newborns room? If so did you go based
>>> on
>>>> texture of colors?
>>>> 2. What adaptive equipment did you have to purchase?
>>>> I went browsing with my sister and saw ear thermometers and medicine
>>>> spoons.
>>>> I didn't know if most off the shelf products are accessible to use.
>>>> 3. I've decided to use a sling so she is closer to me, but did you
>> use
>>> a
>>>> stroller at times?
>>>> I'm trying to add items to a registry but I don't want to add things
>>>> that I won't use.
>>>> Thanks for any answers.
>>>> Anjelina
>>>>
>>>>
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>>>>
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>
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