[blparent] [Bulk] Re: Help

Tammy, Paul and Colyn tcl189 at rogers.com
Mon Jul 20 21:14:28 UTC 2009 

Hi,

It's pretty normal for any kid to test boundries, and blind parents are no 
different then any other parent.  Our kids might play different tricks on 
blind parents then they would on sighted parents, like they might hide under 
the table or behind something and not come out when we call because they 
know we can't see where they've gone.  But it's still the same, and most 
kids do it just to see what we'll do about it or how far they can get away 
with.

Tammy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 3:27 PM
Subject: [Bulk] Re: [blparent] Help


>I agree that nieces and nephews and cousins play such tricks upon us, but
> usually not the children who live in your own house.  They should have 
> more
> respect for their parents and their parent's mates.  Regardless if that 
> mate
> is blind or sighted.  It makes me wonder what else is going on with this
> child and why she feels the need to lash out at mom and boyfriend. V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Pipi
> Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 11:24 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>
> i've been away for over a week and am not all the way through my email 
> yet,
> but i had one quick thought on this. at 6 years old, your daughter knows, 
> or
>
> at least should know better than to push out the screen and throw her toys
> out. she is a kid and no one is perfect, but i would personally take the
> toys away from her for a while. she obviously didn't want them too badly 
> if
> she throws them outside.
> just my thoughts.
> oh and the doing things because your boyfriend can't see is a normal kid
> thing. my niece and nephew do it to me. your boyfriend needs to find
> different ways to know what she is doing, if that makes any sense. she 
> will
> learn that although he can't see, he is still in charge and knows if i do
> something i'm not supposed to do, he'll know about it and there will be
> consequences. if he can't tell that the kids are doing things they aren't
> supposed to be doing, perhaps he needs to interact with them more?
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: <kate02 at bellsouth.net>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, July 15, 2009 12:22 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>
>
>>
>> I have been thinking more on this and was thinking about how much time 
>> you
>
>> spend taking your Daughter out to do fun things with your boyfriend.
>>
>> I found with my oldest that if you take the outing away because of the 
>> bad
>
>> behavior it stops faster.  I also found that if you plan extra fun things
>> in an attempt to create understanding in a way it just reinforces the bad
>> behavior because even though she tosses her toys out the window she will
>> still go and at six they learn that real fast.  Trust me take away TV or
>> cancel a fun trip because of bad behavior and you will have fast results.
>>
>> Hope this helps.
>>
>> Kate
>>
>> -------------- Original message ----------------------
>> From: Mark Melonson <variant at pcdesk.net>
>>>
>>>
>>> Jennifer,
>>>
>>> Keep your head up... From my "limitted" experience with this subject 
>>> with
>
>>> my
>>> girls and younger cousins, it is usually just a matter of time before
>>> they
>>> grow out of it. In my case, there were two reasons why my younger 
>>> cousins
>>> acted similarly when I was watchign them. 1) They thought that they 
>>> could
>>> get away with it, because I couldn't see them. 2) They thought that I 
>>> was
>>> treated as someone who was more "special" than them when around those 
>>> who
>>> they accepted as having authority over them (parents, grandparents,
>>> etc...)
>>> In the case of the former, it may just be a matter of re-enforcing the
>>> idea
>>> that, though he is blind, he is capable of finding out when she is
>>> misbehaving and WILL do so. This was generally the case with my younger
>>> cousins when I'd babysit them. Once they realized that they weren't 
>>> going
>
>>> to
>>> get away with it, and that I was paying close attention and routinely
>>> caught
>>> them, then it stopped, and one of them calls me Daredevil to this day. 
>>> In
>>> the case of the latter, It is not that simple. Time fixed that one, but
>>> it
>>> took more than two years. This is quite common in children that age,
>>> though
>>> I know that probably doesn't help much to hear.
>>>
>>> All the best,
>>> -Mark
>>>
>>> Jennifer Massey writes:
>>>
>>> > lovely a few years huh.  I guess telling her when she feels like she 
>>> > is
>>> > going to be bad to come talk to us won't work then.  sorry being
>>> > sarcastic a
>>> > bit and fustrated.  Last week she pushed her screen out her window and
>>> > started throwing her toys out of it.  we live in an apartment and the
>>> > rental
>>> > office called him to let him know I was working a double.  last week I
>>> > worked 63 hours, worked 4 double shifts and still having financial
>>> > issues
>>> > and the kids just make me sooo fustrated when they do stuff like this
>>> > and
>>> > then finally to find out why makes it even more fustrating when we
>>> > can't
>>> > find a way to fix it.
>>> >
>>> > Jennifer and dustin
>>> > ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> > From: "The BlindTechs Network" <info at theblindtechsnetwork.com>
>>> > To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> > Sent: Wednesday, July 15, 2009 1:26 AM
>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Help
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >> she'll grow out of this. I currently deal with this with my 8 and a
>>> >> half
>>> >> year old daughter and I do everything humanly possible for her.
>>> >>
>>> >> it isn't an attention thing its a I'm a little kid and I got 
>>> >> something
>
>>> >> to
>>> >> use to my advantage thing.
>>> >>
>>> >> give it time, like a couple of years time.
>>> >>
>>> >> The BlindTechs Network
>>> >> www.theblindtechsnetwork.com
>>> >> info at theblindtechsnetwork.com
>>> >> 623-565-9357 (voice)
>>> >> (206) 203-4400 (Fax Phone)
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >> On Jul 14, 2009, at 9:52 PM, Jennifer Massey wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >> My boyfriend has no vision but my children do. He watches them 2 or 3
>>> >> days a week sometimes for more then 8 hours a day.  My daughter who
>>> >> will
>>> >> be 6 soon told him today that she does the things that she does  that
>>> >> are
>>> >> bad because he can't see her do them.  This hurt him very  much.  We
>>> >> are
>>> >> not sure what to do at this point and any advice would  be helpful. 
>>> >> I
>>> >> have tried spending extra time with her when I can and  giving her
>>> >> some
>>> >> positive attention.  This week we have swimming which  we always do
>>> >> together not only has a family but we each take some  individual time
>>> >> with
>>> >> both of the kids, we also are taking both the  kids to a carnival on
>>> >> friday and we are all going to the zoo on  saturday.  We really try 
>>> >> to
>>> >> spend as much time as we can with them in  the positive and not sure
>>> >> why
>>> >> my daughter is lashing out so much  towards him in general.  When I 
>>> >> am
>
>>> >> at
>>> >> home she doesn't do this and  when she is with her dad and his wife
>>> >> she
>>> >> doesn't do it either.  Just  with him.
>>> >>
>>> >> Jennifer and Dustin
>>> >> _______________________________________________
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>>> >>
>>> >>
>>> >>
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>>> >
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>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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