[blparent] sassy children

Tue Jul 21 01:42:41 UTC 2009

I agree with Paul.

My husband is with the kids the most and before he leaves my oldest son with
me he gives the boy a lecture on how he expects Asher to behave for Mommy.
It makes me uncomfortable and it makes me wonder if Daddy thinks that I am
incompetent, but you know it also sends a very clear message of solidarity
between the parents.  Sadly, these lectures have no effect on my two year
old. sigh
Eileen

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Sean Paul
Sent: Saturday, July 18, 2009 4:18 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] sassy children

Exactly. Before others can be comfortable around you. You have to be 
comfortable with yourself. Comfortable in your own skin, with who you are 
and what you have. If you convey this your children will soon pick up on 
this. And this will go along way to making them understand what they can & 
can not get away with.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Saturday, July 18, 2009 15:25
Subject: Re: [blparent] sassy children

> One more comment, if you act like blindness is not a big deal, then it's
> not.  Gab thinks I can do anything, and she's right I can. Smile! V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Amy Murillo-Hicks
> Sent: Saturday, July 18, 2009 10:15 AM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] sassy children
>
> Just to add some additional thoughts to the sassy children  subject.
>
>
> 1.  This is so particularly hurtful coming from our own children.  We give
> them everything including our whole hearts souls and all of our dreams. 
> So
> much of our own ego is wrapped up in everything they do.  We deal with the
> blindness ignorance crap every day from everyone else and to get it thrown
> back at us from our own must be so much more of a slap in the face to us 
> as
> parents.
> 2.  If blindness is a non issue in the home, then it should in turn be a 
> non
> issue to the child.  The question then becomes where is it coming in. 
> Kids
> pick up everything and internalize it, spit it back out and see how it 
> plays
> with their most important audience,  us as parents.
>
> I am really really fortunate in not having to deal with this with my kids
> because I think I made a conscious effort to be sure my kids when they 
> were
> little have no contact with anyone who would demean my ability to parent.
> Some would say that I was being unrealistic and that it will come up later
> and then be a problem.  What I can tell you is when my oldest was in 
> Sunday
> school at age 4 and the subject of Jesus healing the blind came up, my 
> child
> got in an argument with  his teacher and said that the blind people had
> nothing wrong with them and neither did his mom.   This pattern continues 
> in
> other situations to this day.  When we encountered people on the street 
> who
> would make unthinking comments, we would talk about it right away.
>
> I saw this is being the same for my oldest child who is bi-racial with his
> father absent.  I needed to work extra hard in instilling in him a sense 
> of
> pride in who he is.
>
> Teaching about pride and surrounding ourselves with good role models so 
> far
> has been really key for us.
>
> Also catching them when they do bad stuff when you are in another room
> doesn't hurt either.l..
>
> Just more comments from the peanut gallery.
>
> Amy M-H
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