[blparent] [Bulk] Re: [Bulk] Re: Blind Parents Meeting

Barbara Hammel poetlori8 at msn.com
Thu Jun 4 16:07:09 UTC 2009 

Even though it does make us angry to think of them coming and taking your 
children away, you have a valid point there.  If you completely lose your 
head and become very uncooperative that makes you look guilty as sin.  If 
you have nothing to hide, as seems to be the case with all of us, you just 
answer the questions, be friendly and the worker will come to understand 
that you are a reasonable adult who can probably handle the trials of being 
a parent.  They will just walk out your door and wonder why they had to 
waste time on such a silly thing.
Barbara

If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Leanne Merren" <leemer02 at gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, June 03, 2009 3:46 PM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] Re:  [Bulk] Re:  Blind Parents Meeting

> I have a friend who is a prosecuting attorney, and he says that he sees so 
> many cases where CPS is involved, and because the parents fight them they 
> often lose custody.  He said the parents who cooperate with them are the 
> ones who usually win the case.  That makes sense to me.
> Leanne
> "Faith is being sure of what we hope for
> and certain of what we do not see."
> Hebrews 11:1
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 03, 2009 12:39 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] Re: [Bulk] Re: Blind Parents Meeting
>
>
>> And sometimes it's your child's preschool teacher.
>> The sad thing is, especially if it's someone you deal with on a daily 
>> basis, they don't come to you and ask first.
>> There are two instances from my day-care experience that were model ways 
>> of dealing with this.  We talked to the parents and told them what we 
>> would have to do if they didn't do their part.
>> Tammy is right here.  Deb has corrected me by saying she thinks it's 1 
>> out of 4 (not one half) and the proof is to look at how many of us 
>> frequently write on the list compared with how many of us have told a 
>> story.
>> Seems to me the proof is in the pudding.
>> The fact is, when you're a minority, you're guilty until proven innocent.
>> I knew a black couple who had their children removed because marks were 
>> left on a bottom from a spanking.  Now whether or not you approve of 
>> spanking, what was someone in the public school doing looking at the butt 
>> of an eight-year-old?
>> Any way, CPS is doing their job, idiots are calling them, most workers 
>> are reasonable (some have a grudge against the world), and the more 
>> cooperative you are at answering their questions and the more friendly 
>> you are, the sooner they walk out your door and send you a letter saying 
>> the report was unfounded.
>> Barbara
>>
>> If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
>> you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Tammy, Paul and Colyn" <tcl189 at rogers.com>
>> Sent: Wednesday, June 03, 2009 12:21 AM
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] [Bulk] Re:  [Bulk] Re:  Blind Parents Meeting
>>
>>> Hi,
>>>
>>> I don't have anything to hide either so usually if they don't come in to 
>>> my life and my home like raging bulls and scare my kids half to death, I 
>>> have no issues answering whatever questions they might ask.  But I don't 
>>> understand and never have understood why the parenting standard for me 
>>> and for lots of other blind couples seems to be higher then for my 
>>> sighted neighbour who I know for a fact swears, spanks, and screams at 
>>> her kids both publicly and privately and cps never gets a call.  That's 
>>> what I'm talking about here, and as much as I would love to see proof of 
>>> this data, I never will.  I am the proof, as is Joe Elizabeth, and many 
>>> others on this list who've had visits from these so-called well-meaning 
>>> people. These organizations will never come out and say oh it's because 
>>> you're blind, that would be discrimination.  But they'll justify their 
>>> involvement by saying it's because of fill in the blank, and that will 
>>> be okay with their managers, bosses, etc.  But we all know why cps, dcf, 
>>> or whatever acronym the organization goes by in your state, province, or 
>>> area use.  Most of these calls are made by hospitals, pools, neighbours 
>>> and strangers who just happen to see something on the street not knowing 
>>> the full story, and they're made because the parent just happens to have 
>>> little to no eye-sight, or may do something a little differently, or 
>>> their child might fall down etc.
>>>
>>> hth
>>>
>>> Tammy
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: <kate02 at bellsouth.net>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 10:13 PM
>>> Subject: [Bulk] Re: [blparent] [Bulk] Re: Blind Parents Meeting
>>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>> I think we should keep in mind that being blind parents places us in 
>>>> the minority.  I have found over the years that it is popular for 
>>>> minority populations to justify removal of children on solely the issue 
>>>> or choices that create their situation.  It just seams to be a common 
>>>> theme in Minority and fringe populations.  My kid was removed because 
>>>> fill in the blank and let the panic begin.
>>>>
>>>> Are there times that blind parents are questioned by CPS?, yes and I 
>>>> would imagine if you reacted badly things could go that way.
>>>>
>>>> But the constant being told that because your blind you may lose your 
>>>> kids does nothing but scare people and helps no one.  How can a new 
>>>> Mother, father, or couple who is blind handle themselves if DCF is 
>>>> involved if they have been siked up.
>>>>
>>>> Kids get hurt.  Kids put their clothes on backwards. Kids forget 
>>>> homework. That’s just how it is.
>>>>
>>>> Its one thing to be informed of your rights but having yourself in this 
>>>> panic that its you against DCF is just going to the extreme.  I expect 
>>>> questions and have no reason not to answer I have nothing to hide so 
>>>> why should I panic?  Fifty percent of blind parents being seen by DCF 
>>>> and being threatened with the removal of their children just sounds 
>>>> high.
>>>>
>>>> Personally I’d like to see proof not stats, any one can write stats.
>>>>
>>>> Kate
>>>>
>>>> -------------- Original message ----------------------
>>>> From: "Tammy, Paul and Colyn" <tcl189 at rogers.com>
>>>>>
>>>>> Hi,
>>>>>
>>>>> But the you might be next mind set is the one you need to take with
>>>>> organizations like cps, because you very well could be and for no 
>>>>> other
>>>>> reason the fact that you're blind.  The fact is that every disabled 
>>>>> person
>>>>> should be aware that this could happen to them.  Cps could be called 
>>>>> on them
>>>>> by a neighbour well-meaning or not, a friend, or even a family member, 
>>>>> and
>>>>> they do have the power to make your life miserable for a very long 
>>>>> time, and
>>>>> even to tear your family apart without even a second thought after 
>>>>> your kids
>>>>> are in foster care and you're sitting in your empty home saying you 
>>>>> wished
>>>>> you'd listened to all the fear mongering and advice from lists like 
>>>>> this
>>>>> one.
>>>>>
>>>>> Tammy
>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (IS)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 11:52 AM
>>>>> Subject: [Bulk] Re: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> > My daughter is learning to put her clothes on and has put them on 
>>>>> > inside
>>>>> > out, backwards, you n ame it. She's so proud of herself, I won't 
>>>>> > correct
>>>>> > her, that joy and confidence she displays is precious.
>>>>> > The times people have commented, I just explain that she did it 
>>>>> > herself,
>>>>> > and I say it proudly. It hasn't been an issue.
>>>>> > Also, if you are going to present raw data, how is it not fear 
>>>>> > mongering
>>>>> > when you offer no supporting data. It's like saying "100 people will 
>>>>> > be
>>>>> > killed in a car wreck today, you might be one of them" without 
>>>>> > saying
>>>>> > "to lessen the odds, wear a seatbelt and don't ride with someone who 
>>>>> > has
>>>>> > been drinking".
>>>>> > Knowing what actions and attitudes we can take is far more 
>>>>> > bennificial
>>>>> > then just tossing out numbers with the "and you might be next" 
>>>>> > mindset.
>>>>> >
>>>>> >
>>>>> > -----Original Message-----
>>>>> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> > [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> > On Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
>>>>> > Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 11:34 AM
>>>>> > To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>> >
>>>>> > It's not fear-mongering.  It's just pointing out a fact.  Sighted 
>>>>> > people
>>>>> > sometimes have such an overwhelming sense of fear of being blind 
>>>>> > that
>>>>> > they butt into people's business because they don't think they could
>>>>> > handle a child if they were blind.
>>>>> > Those people are there.  They always want to help you.  After 
>>>>> > putting
>>>>> > your child's shoes on the right feet for 9/10 of the school year and
>>>>> > then you put them on wrong by accident, instead of just changing 
>>>>> > them,
>>>>> > they have to point out to you that you made a mistake.  I know, we 
>>>>> > all
>>>>> > do that to some extent.
>>>>> > Barbara
>>>>> >
>>>>> > If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of
>>>>> > whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > --------------------------------------------------
>>>>> > From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (IS)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
>>>>> > Sent: Tuesday, June 02, 2009 7:46 AM
>>>>> > To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>> >
>>>>> >> I don't think any of us are excluded per sea, but putting out these
>>>>> >> stats with no other data is nothing more then fear mongering in my
>>>>> >> oppinion. What value is to be gained in that?
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> >> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> >> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> >> On Behalf Of Kliph
>>>>> >> Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 6:27 PM
>>>>> >> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> That would be me also.  I am blind, but my wife can see.  So does 
>>>>> >> that
>>>>> >
>>>>> >> exclude us?
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> >> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> >> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> >> On Behalf Of Scott Lawlor
>>>>> >> Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 3:43 PM
>>>>> >> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> I'd also be interested in this information and does any of the data
>>>>> >> apply to
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> a situation where only one of the parents is blind?
>>>>> >> ----- Original Message -----
>>>>> >> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (IS)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
>>>>> >> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> >> Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 3:03 PM
>>>>> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>> Interesting.
>>>>> >>> I'd be interested to k now more about this statistic.
>>>>> >>> One half of all blind parents.
>>>>> >>> Where is this number coming from?
>>>>> >>> What are the nature of these contacts? Do these cases involve the
>>>>> >> blind
>>>>> >>> parent who is at home with his/her kids or ones who work outside 
>>>>> >>> the
>>>>> >>> home?
>>>>> >>> What impact does a blind couple raising a child v. a sighted-blind
>>>>> >>> couple have on these contacts with social services?
>>>>> >>> What sparks these contacts?Does doing something "unconventional" 
>>>>> >>> such
>>>>> >> as
>>>>> >>> having a child born at home or choosing not to vaccinate play a
>>>>> >>> factor in if CPS comes calling?
>>>>> >>> Has anybody done a quantifiable breakdown of blind parents and 
>>>>> >>> their
>>>>> >>> contact with CPS?
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> I ask because I've heard this statistic before but would be
>>>>> >>> interested to know more about the data driving it.
>>>>> >>> Anybody?
>>>>> >>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> >>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>> >>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> >>> On Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
>>>>> >>> Sent: Sunday, May 31, 2009 5:14 PM
>>>>> >>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> I'm so glad that, according to our current schedule, I'll be able 
>>>>> >>> to
>>>>> >>> attend.
>>>>> >>> It's funny, in 2006 I attended the meeting and you talked about 
>>>>> >>> how
>>>>> >>> something like one half of all blind parents will have Child
>>>>> >> Protective
>>>>> >>> Services call on them.  In some respects, I was so glad--yet very
>>>>> >>> appalled--to hear that fact.  A friend of mine insisted I go to 
>>>>> >>> that
>>>>> >>> meeting, not knowing that was the subject.  I had just marked the
>>>>> >> first
>>>>> >>> anniversary of having the twins and had just had CPS at my door on
>>>>> >> that
>>>>> >>> last day of school.  Back then, Paul would never cry when he was 
>>>>> >>> hurt
>>>>> >
>>>>> >>> and he'd fallen on a toy and got a big bruise and I didn't know 
>>>>> >>> it.
>>>>> >>> I am the bather and changer in our house and at that time my
>>>>> >>> husband's
>>>>> >> job
>>>>> >>> took him away quite a bit.  Luckily he was home that day.
>>>>> >>> So anyone who's going, I hope to meet you this year.
>>>>> >>> Barbara
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care: 
>>>>> >>> of
>>>>> >>> whom you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>> >>> From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
>>>>> >>> Sent: Saturday, May 30, 2009 9:38 PM
>>>>> >>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>> It is so funny, I was just remembering meeting you the year the
>>>>> >>>> convention was in Kentucky.  Was that 2002 or 2003?  Gab was very
>>>>> >>>> young and I left her with my hubby for the first time.  I felt 
>>>>> >>>> lost
>>>>> >>>> without her.  Well anyway I went to your meeting and felt 
>>>>> >>>> completely
>>>>> >
>>>>> >>>> like a dodo.  I asked questions such as how will she know what 
>>>>> >>>> color
>>>>> >> a
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>> crayon is or how will she color with me or how will I teach her 
>>>>> >>>> the
>>>>> >>>> alphabet.  How will I read to her.  They all seemed trivial but 
>>>>> >>>> you
>>>>> >>>> were so kind and made me feel right at home.
>>>>> >>>> Thanks for everything.  I wish I was going this year, maybe next
>>>>> >> time.
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>> V
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> >>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>> >> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>> On Behalf Of Deborah Kent Stein
>>>>> >>>> Sent: Friday, May 29, 2009 10:01 AM
>>>>> >>>> To: Multiple recipients of NFBnet blparent Mailing List
>>>>> >>>> Subject: [blparent] Blind Parents Meeting
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> Hi, all,
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> This year the Blind Parents Group will meet at convention on July 
>>>>> >>>> 4
>>>>> >>>> from 7:30 to 10 P.M.  Traditionally this is an informal meeting
>>>>> >>>> where everyone is
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> free to share experiences and ideas.  I would love to hear your
>>>>> >>>> thoughts about possible topics for discussion, so please feel 
>>>>> >>>> free
>>>>> >>>> to contact me
>>>>> >>>> on-
>>>>> >>>> or off-list.  I look forward to meeting many of you at this 
>>>>> >>>> year's
>>>>> >>>> meeting!
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> Debbie Stein
>>>>> >>>> dkent5817 at worldnet.att.net
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>> >>>> blparent:
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/madison_tewe
>>>>> >>>> %40spi
>>>>> >>>> nn.net
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