[blparent] A mix of both
trishs
slosser at metrocast.net
Fri May 22 16:31:11 UTC 2009
Sounds like a good balance for you. I'm thankful I've been able
to be a stay at home mom.
I've found that the older my kids get, the less they want their
mom around. It seems to me, from birth to Kindergarten are the
most influential mom years. In my house, after that it's all
about their extra curriculurs, friends, and wants, which usually
involve material things and or money from parents.
I want to keep my girls little as long as possible, and I know
that I can't fight their growing up, so I've had to slowly give
them permission to do so, along with responsibilities.
My girls come to me and talk to me about a lot of stuff that goes
on when I'm not around or they're not around me. and I'm
thankful for that. It's not as though I'm trying to be their
friend instead of their parent, I'm just validating their
feelings about what goes on in their lives.
I answer them in what I consider age appropriate ways, such as,
not making a big deal out of who's friends with whom this week,
who's "going out with" whom, which "star" is the "hottest", and
other fourth and fifth grade stuff that is important to them now,
but won't be later, as well as things that actually might be
important later. I'd like them to see me as a mom first, then as
a real person with real feelings, wants, and needs. I didn't
realize that my mom was a real person until I was around
12-years-old. Sheltered much?
> -----
Original Message -----
>From: "Karla Hudson" <HudsonKC at msu.edu
>To: <blparent at nfbnet.org
>Date sent: Thu, 21 May 2009 16:40:09 -0400
>Subject: [blparent] A mix of both
>Hi list,
>Just wanted to chime in here regarding about staying home with
your kids. I
>know this is mostly about working at home for an
employer/business and
>working out of the home for an employer. However, I am a stay at
home mom.
>I feel lucky to have this opportunity as not everyone gets to
have this
>choice.
>If you do get such a rewarding opportunity I say take it for
several
>reasons. I lost my sister to cancer in 2002, two weeks after my
daughter
>was born. I can tell you that my mom never thought she would
lose her
>daughter and she certainly doesn't regret having stayed home with
us all.
>The loss of my sister really put things in perspective for me. I
left a
>great career to stay with her and I have never looked back. I
feel great
>joy getting to walk her to school, attend school events and play
with her on
>the playground after school as well as have the energy for her
assignments.
>Both my kids have gone to preschool three days a week in the
morning. I
>find this to be the time for running errands and doing my "mom"
job. This
>has given my kids the opportunity to grow on their own but I
still get lots
>of mommy time with them.
>I think remembering that their only "young once" is truly
foundational. I
>try to capture so many of their life moments in my mind. I know
my husband,
>who works 40 to 50 hours a week, notices the speed that their
growing as he
>is not involved as much as he would like given the demands of his
job. He
>does feel blessed that they have their mom as their primary care
giver.
>So love them up and give them as much time as possible. You
never know what
>tomorrow will bring.
>Karla
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