[blparent] Help before 7:30 Arizona Time Please

[Leanne Merren]

Hi Gabe,
I'm not sure what you decided to do, as it is much past the time now, but I 
just wanted to say that I understand what you are dealing with.  My oldest 
child has had lying troubles for a long time now, and we've explained over 
and over again that if he had just told the truth, he wouldn't have been 
punished as severely, or maybe not at all, depending on the situation.  I 
can't help but feel, though, that she was waiting to get caught on this one. 
She left the cap on the floor, and the razor in the medicine cabinet, and I 
think she knew you would find them.  My thought is that she is asking for 
some guidance, but doesn't know how to go about asking for it.  Do you have 
a sister or somebody close to you that could have a chat with her about 
growing up?  Does she see her mother, and would that be the person for her 
to talk to?  I personally didn't feel like I could talk to my mother about 
such things.  Not because I was afraid of her or anything, but she was the 
parent I lived with full time and we just didn't have that kind of 
relationship.  I got more information from my aunt and my grandma.
One more thing I can say is that you have to try not to take it personally, 
as hard as that is.  When my son does things to sneak around because he 
knows I can't see him, if I take it personally my emotions get in the way of 
properly thinking through his punishment.  I try to forget the blindness, 
and focus on his behavior as being dishonest, and go about it from that 
angle.  If he'll sneak around on me, he'll probably do it to anybody, just 
in a different way, so my goal is to help him understand that behavior like 
that will only bring him trouble, and certainly won't get him the results he 
is seeking.  My son is almost 10, by the way, and it has been going on since 
he was 6 or so.  It has gotten better for periods of time, and then he'll 
occasionally slip back into it, as if we've left it alone long enough so he 
needs to bring our attention back to him for a while.  It's frustrating, but 
all part of parenting.
Take care,
Leanne
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, November 19, 2009 5:40 AM
Subject: [blparent] Help before 7:30 Arizona Time Please


> Background:
>
>
>
> My daughter has had a great interest is woman supplies even before needing
> them, she is 8.75 years old will be 9 in February. And she has been firmly
> told it isn't time, for razors, shaving, lotions, etc.
>
>
>
> Even before needing to ware bras I would catch her sneaking them from 
> school
> from other little girls to ware them and be cool I guess. She now wares a
> double a so that isn't an issue anymore so it's this razor thing.
>
>
>
> A couple of days ago I found a razor cap on the bathroom floor. Being I
> don't shave I instantly walked up to her asking her where the razor was 
> that
> I suspected she had and she very much denied even knowing of one's
> existences. I left it at that and we went on, although I always thought 
> she
> was just lying and I find it sooner or later, I always do and she always
> gets caught.
>
>
>
> So, tonight looking in the medicine cabinet looking for something for my
> ear, I found the razor, it's a disposable razor just like the one matching
> the cap I found on the floor a couple of days ago.
>
>
>
> My problem:
>
> I always let my daughter know why she is being punished, and then I asking
> her to fully explain to me so I know she understands why she is being
> punished.
>
>
>
> Today she is scheduled to go to a field trip to a farm and she is really
> looking forward to it. Should I keep her home for a form of punishment? 
> The
> entire school day is being spent at the farm so if I keep her home she 
> would
> be only missing out on the farm. Or do you recommend any other forms of
> punishment.
>
>
>
> Please do understand we have talked, over and over and over about wanting 
> to
> grow up too fast, it has nothing to do with her not knowing. Its her not
> listening, and lying about it when confronted with the evidence.
>
>
>
> Thanks
>
>
>
>
>
> Gabe Vega A+, Net+, ATACP
>
> The Tech of all Techs
>
> (623) 565-9357
>
>
>
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