[blparent] Changing a Troubling Habit

[Robert Shelton]

Hi Joe Elizabeth and list.  I only relate this because it seems sort of
funny now with the passage of several decades.  When my son was about that
age, he would have been maybe 2 years old, he was acting up -- I've
forgotten exactly what he was doing.  Anyway, we were out in the yard, and
he decided it would be fun to run from me, and the little toot was pretty
clever -- leading me through a bed of fireants and under a low-hanging
branch which caught me about neck high.  While it didn't seem that way at
the time, I'm sure the whole thing was pretty good slapstick and might have
been a good forerunner for America's Funniest Home Videos.  Anyway, we all
learned some lessons and went on.  Note that I'm not recommending my
approach, but merely pointing out that inappropriate reactions are more
often the rule than the exception -- stuff happens.  The key is how we
recover and learn from THE EXPERIENCE.


"The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as
incidents and none of the incidents as disasters."
--Harold Nicolson



-----Original Message-----
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto [mailto:jopinto at pcdesk.net] 
Sent: Thursday, November 19, 2009 2:57 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] Changing a Troubling Habit

I've been coming up against a situation that is troubling me a little, and
I'm looking for some feedback.  I guess I need to know whether I'm
overreacting, and there's nothing to be worried about, or if there is
something to be concerned about and what I ought to do.

Sarah is almost 21 months old now, and I stay at home with her.  She holds
my hand when we leave the house, and I've also got one of those animal
backpack harnesses for her.  But around the house, she's taken to running
away from me when it's time for me to change her diaper or put her to bed
and she isn't interested in doing those things.  I know that's normal
toddler behavior, so I don't take it personally.  But I also know there's no
way I can chase her and catch up with her, so I don't want to set that up as
a pattern.  I just stay in one place and call her, keeping the mood light,
and she usually comes to me soon enough.  No big deal.

The problem is, her dad and some sighted friends have chased her and scooped
her up, and a couple of times I've heard them say stuff like, "Well, I can
see, so I don't have to wait for you to come to me," or "It's hard to get
away from someone who can see you, isn't it?"

My worry is, will this start establishing the idea in Sarah's mind that Mom
can't see, so she can't keep up, or she can't do what needs doing?  I don't
think anybody has meant to be harmful or thoughtless, but wouldn't it be
better to have everybody following the no chasing rule?  If so, is there a
practical, realistic way to break the chasing habit in other caregivers, or
at least stop the comments?

Thanks for thinking about this with me.


Jo Elizabeth

Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify
the hunters.--African Proverb