[blparent] blparent Digest, Vol 65, Issue 4

Tue Oct 6 01:36:48 UTC 2009

There is no easy answer to this question. So much of it depends on you and 
your baby. Here is my experience regarding sleeping arrangements with my 
one-year-old daughter.

Before Elise was born, I can honestly say I thought the idea of cosleeping 
was ridiculous. I thought that since the baby had a perfectly good 
bassinette, and a perfectly good crib, there was absolutely no reason why 
she would ever need to sleep with me...

Then I had my baby, and she was a very colicky, high-needs baby. She would 
scream for several hours every day, no matter what I did. I learned very 
quickly that one of the only ways she would sleep for any length of time was 
if I put her on my chest. Suddenly, cosleeping didn't seem so crazy to me.

I kept Elise close to me (either in her bassinette, or in bed beside me) for 
most of the first six months of her life. Then, we gradually made the switch 
to her crib in the next room.

I still keep her with me when she is sick, in a strange place, is in pain 
from teething, after vaccines, etc., but for the most part she now sleeps in 
her room at night.

Having said that, there are several things to consider when making the 
decision of whether or not to cosleep.

* Is your child easy to sleep with? Elise is a very rough sleeper. She will 
often wake up and make a game of kicking me, pulling my hair, pinching me, 
etc. She is also a bed hog, and I frequently wake up on the very edge of my 
mattress.

* Are you a light or heavy sleeper? This is a tough balance. You don't want 
to be such a heavy sleeper that you won't wake up if you roll onto your 
baby's arm, but you don't want to be waking up at every little twitch.

* What about your baby? is he waking up every time you change positions? 
Generally this is less of an issue, as babies generally sleep like the dead 
once their actually out. One of the most helpful pieces of advice I got from 
friends with three children was to not make any special effort to be quiet 
when my daughter was asleep. As a result, she sleeps through the television, 
music, the vacuum, the ringing phone, etc.

* Are you willing to go through the painful transition of getting your baby 
out of your bed and into his crib when the cosleeping phase of your 
relationship is over? Unless you are prepared to allow your child to dictate 
when this is, the transition may be a hellish one.

* Are you willing to sacrifice alone time with your partner while your baby 
is in your bed?

Also, keep in mind that many babies take a very long time before they can 
"comfortably sleep through the night." I was fortunate with my daughter, as 
she began to sleep several hours at a stretch when she was only 5 months 
old. I have friends, though, who have 2-year-old kids that still do not 
sleep more than a couple of hours at a time.

Obviously, if you can accomplish nursing while laying down, cosleeping makes 
those night-time feedings much less painful. I have friends who can 
literally sleep while feeding their babies. I hate them, as I was never 
fortunate enough to be able to manage it. I had to pump exclusively, which 
meant getting up anyway.

One final piece of advice before I end my novella. If you plan on 
cosleeping, I would seriously consider investing in a set of bed rails. I 
wish I had purchased some, and still might, because now that Elise is 
mobile, I literally cannot leave her in my bed unattended, even for a 
minute. This means, that if she is with me, I can't get up to get a drink, 
use the restroom, etc.

Hope some of this helps.

Dena

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jennifer Bose" <jen10514 at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, October 05, 2009 2:06 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] blparent Digest, Vol 65, Issue 4

> Hello, parents.
>
> I'm very happy to have joined this list. There's so much here to learn
> and I'm enjoying all the discussions and gathering a great deal of
> information. With your help, I found a stroller that can be pulled
> behind me; it's from Graco and also contains the right harness and
> includes a car seat.
>
> Now, here's another burning question: What are your views about
> sleeping arrangements for a new baby? I now have a bassinet that the
> baby can sleep in right next to me and my husband in our bedroom.
> Later, when the baby can sleep through the night comfortably, there's
> a crib in a different room. However, in talking to two doulas I know,
> one of whom is blind and also a mother and who will be helping me out
> at the hospital and maybe at home, these women suggested that I might
> want the baby to sleep in our bed with us. They said that as blind
> parents (my husband is also blind), we would want to be as close to
> the baby as possible during the night in order to hear any little
> noises or restlessness and be able to quickly see if the baby needs to
> be fed or otherwise attended to. My first reaction to this is that I'd
> really like the baby to be in the bassinet instead, which I think is
> near enough to us. I'm a light sleeper and I already tune into my
> guide dog when she wakes up and fidgets and scratches an itch or
> shifts position in order to get comfortable again. I'm hoping I can be
> attentive enough to the baby asleep in the bassinet near us. I also
> would just like the baby to get used to having its own space, although
> I'm not completely averse to a small child wanting to sleep next to
> the parents for part of the night or if he or she is scared or just
> wants to crawl into bed with them early in the morning for a while. My
> stepdaughter has done that a few times and she found it comforting,
> but she did know that she had her own bed.
>
> Any thoughts?
>
> Jen
>
> On 10/5/09, blparent-request at nfbnet.org <blparent-request at nfbnet.org> 
> wrote:
>> Send blparent mailing list submissions to
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>> Today's Topics:
>>
>>    1. Re: girl scouts (Veronica Smith)
>>    2. Veronica, re: Disneyland (Eric Calhoun)
>>    3. Correction: Adult Braille Readers Are Leaders Team (Eric Calhoun)
>>
>>
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 1
>> Date: Sun, 4 Oct 2009 14:50:45 -0600
>> From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] girl scouts
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Message-ID: <000401ca4534$5873f210$095bd630$@net>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>>
>> I'm glad for them as well.  Gab is so excited, she can hardly think
>> straight. V
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Pipi
>> Sent: Saturday, October 03, 2009 9:07 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] girl scouts
>>
>> that is great news. i've taken on the job of being a co leader for my
>> niece's troop. they didn't have a leader at her school, so i talked my
>> sister into it and i'm helping. i was a girl scout from brownies clear
>> through cadets. i think it is a great thing for girls and am glad that 
>> there
>>
>> is a troop for my niece and the other girls that didn't have a troop last
>> year.
>> Pipi
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Saturday, October 03, 2009 6:02 PM
>> Subject: [blparent] girl scouts
>>
>>
>>> Well guess what, we finally found a troop for Gab.  A friend of mine
>>> called
>>> me and said their troop was adding 3 more slots and I called right away.
>>> She will bin in troop 209.  They welcomed her with open arms. V
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 2
>> Date: Sun, 4 Oct 2009 23:04:03 -0500
>> From: Eric Calhoun <eric at pmpmail.com>
>> Subject: [blparent] Veronica, re: Disneyland
>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
>> Message-ID: <20091005040615.1A8912AF61E at node77.smtp.com>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>>
>> Veronica, it's so nice you'll be out here to partake of the Magic 
>> Kingdom!
>> Please call me when you get out here; I'd like to meet you.
>>
>> Eric
>> Halloween!  Don't make it a safety hazard!  Make it a safe haven!  This
>> is Eric from Los Angeles, reminding that a safe Halloween begins with 
>> you.
>> No illegal violence!  No non-see-through costumes!  Be creative!  Don't 
>> be
>> offensive!  But be loving!  It's not the size of the dog in the fight; 
>> it's
>> the size of the fight in the dog!
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> Message: 3
>> Date: Sun, 4 Oct 2009 23:12:14 -0500
>> From: Eric Calhoun <eric at pmpmail.com>
>> Subject: [blparent] Correction: Adult Braille Readers Are Leaders Team
>> To: blparent at nfbnet.org, blindkid at nfbnet.org
>> Message-ID: <20091005041426.4A1312AF669 at node77.smtp.com>
>> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
>>
>> Because of an editing error, I inadvertantently gave my phone number as 
>> my
>> email address.  My email address is eric at pmpmail.com, and my telephone
>> number is: 323-295-5750.
>>
>> Parents!  Adults!  I am forming an adult Braille Readers Are Leaders
>> team!  Are you interested?  Then please look at the above paragraph, and
>> please get in touch with me.  You must have a strategy, for example, what
>> books/magazines you will read, what team name you will select, and more.
>> I'm looking for a minimum of 5 participants!  I would love to hear from
>> you!
>>
>> Eric
>> Halloween!  Don't make it a safety hazard!  Make it a safe haven!  This
>> is Eric from Los Angeles, reminding that a safe Halloween begins with 
>> you.
>> No illegal violence!  No non-see-through costumes!  Be creative!  Don't 
>> be
>> offensive!  But be loving!  It's not the size of the dog in the fight; 
>> it's
>> the size of the fight in the dog!
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>
>>
>> End of blparent Digest, Vol 65, Issue 4
>> ***************************************
>>
>
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