[blparent] Seeking parents who are blind and who adopted

Tue Sep 1 13:47:02 UTC 2009

Hey there. 
Thank you for taking the time to explain. This is good info. 
Aside from contacting Buddy and Melanie I don't have any other
suggestions for you. 
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
On Behalf Of Sherry DeFrancesco
Sent: Tuesday, September 01, 2009 12:00 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Seeking parents who are blind and who adopted

Hello Rebecca,
Thank you for your questions and suggestions. I will paste your
questions here and answer each one so that all who are following this
thread can easily read...
1. It sounds like you want a child past the toddler phase, one who can
walk and talk reliably and who is also blind/ has low vision. This is a
tall order, there just not be that many children up for adoption
matching that criteria.

A:Sorry for the misunderstanding, I was specifically referring to older
children-ages 6-12 here in the U.S. foster care system that cannot walk,
talk, feed themselves, and some are on feeding tubes and ventilators.
This is total care, and not what we are seeking. These children are in
foster homes with nurses and trained foster parents and home health aids
that care for these children-this is their life's work.  There are
hundreds of waiting children from all over the world that range from age
9 months to 10 years, and perhaps older. We have viewed descriptions,
photos, video, and medical reports on many. Our criteria is what we, the
adoptive parents feel that we desire in our child and what other medical
or severe physical disabilities that we are equipped, prepared and
willing to accept or not. All children, no matter what age, who are
waiting in orphanages for a family, do suffer trauma in one way or
another, and are going to have developmental delays regardless of other
unseen and unknown conditions. Believe me, we have done our homework,
and our criteria is not unreasonable. There are a lot of children out
there, and yes, to answer the next question...
I'm curious as to why you think this is a discriminatory blindness
issue?
A: Because it has been blatenly said over and over. When dealing with
international adoption, we have no control over their laws, beliefs and
systems. For example, China has it in their laws that blind parents can
adopt blind children, and that deaf parents can adopt deaf children.
Some countries do not have any laws regarding blind parents, and this is
probably because they do not believe that blind parents would be capable
or even apply, and the same with the children; often children with
severe disabilities, including blindness are not even registered with
the government until age 3 or higher, because there is no hurry because
they believe that nobody would want to adopt them. So, the disabled kids
are posted for a short period of time, and then shipped to mental
institutions to live out the remainder of their lives. It is a very sad
world out there for orphan children.
2. Have you asked a social worker you trust to do some dry-run
interviews with you? It might be that you are or are not saying
something that is giving somebody the willies, something like "We want
an older child because we don't want to get up at night with a baby." or
"we want an older child because we need a child to talk so we know what
he/she needs".
A: Let me assure you that we have not said anything out of line or that
would give anyone anything to question. Good thinking though, and thank
you for mentioning it.
We have a completed home study with full support from our Social Worker.

You are to be commended for your honesty in your openness in wanting to
be more then a medical guardian.
A: Honesty to oneself and others is very important when making a
lifelong commitment like this one. It is most important to know what you
are and are not comfortable accepting in a child that you are going to
bring into your home, love, support no matter what, even if that child
is not capable of giving that love back to you. Educating oneself, as
well as thorough preparation is the best way to get into something as
large as adoption, because there will be unknowns no matter what.

I'd be curious to know why you want a blind or low-vision child? All
children need loving homes. Why are blind or low vision kids of special
concern to you?
A: My husband and I both lost our eyesight later in life, myself at age
23 and Joe at age 30. We all know that kids can grow up to be
productive, active, happy people when they are given the right tools,
education, support and environment that will allow for that child to
reach his/her highest potential. This is true for any child, but we are
talking about blind or vision impaired children. We feel strongly that
we can provide a child that is blind with all of the things that I
mentioned and more because we live as independent blind people and can
serve as true role models for our child. We have a passion and strong
desire to adopt a child that is vision impaired because we can provide
the necessary resources to that child so he/she can reach their highest
potential; to give a kid a chance; every child deserves a chance at a
good life. The blind children in these different countries are not well
cared for, often do not ever attend school, or get nearly the attention
and interventions they will need; often end up in cribs and unable to
walk; and adoptive parents are afraid of blindness.  If we could just
help one kid, that would mean so much.
Yes, we have great concern for all of the children all over the world,
but the vision impaired children have a special place in our hearts
because we believe that we can help them the most.

is a blind couple Buddy and Melanie Brennan who have adopted a child
from the Ukraine. I don't know if their daughter is blind or not.
I don't have Buddy's email address, but he is on the NAGDU list. Perhaps
you can Google for him and send him a note.
Thank you, I will do this.

I hope I was able to clarify some things above. Thanks again for your
questions and suggestions. We appreciate all of the input.
Best wishes,  Sherry

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (IS)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at ngc.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, August 31, 2009 3:51 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Seeking parents who are blind and who adopted

>A couple thoughts here;
> 1. It sounds like you want a child past the toddler phase, one who can
> walk and talk reliably and who is also blind/ has low vision. This is
a
> tall order, there just not be that many children up for adoption
> matching that criteria.
> I'm curious as to why you think this is a discriminatory blindness
> issue?
> 2. Have you asked a social worker you trust to do some dry-run
> interviews with you? It might be that you are or are not saying
> something that is giving somebody the willies, something like "We want
> an older child because we don't want to get up at night with a baby."
or
> "we want an older child because we need a child to talk so we know
what
> he/she needs".
> You are to be commended for your honesty in your openness in wanting
to
> be more then a medical guardian.
> I'd be curious to know why you want a blind or low-vision child? All
> children need loving homes. Why are blind or low vision kids of
special
> concern to you?
> There is a blind couple Buddy and Melanie Brennan who have adopted a
> child from the Ukraine. I don't know if their daughter is blind or
not.
> I don't have Buddy's email address, but he is on the NAGDU list.
Perhaps
> you can Google for him and send him a note.
> Good luck to you.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Sherry DeFrancesco
> Sent: Saturday, August 29, 2009 4:43 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] Seeking parents who are blind and who adopted
>
> Dear Blind Parent Listers,
>
> We are a married couple that is totally blind, and have been trying to
> adopt a child that is blind or visually impaired for the past two
years.
> It has been a long and exhausting journey due to misconceptions and
> false beliefs about the abilities of parents who are blind. We have a
> New York state Foster Parent License, and a completed home study for
> international adoption. We have tried the New York foster care system,
> as well as International adoption agencies. New York state did not
> locate a child that is blind or vision impaired in the NY state foster
> care system, and we have been turned down by China, India and Russia.
> There are thousands of blind and vision impaired children out there
all
> over the world who need loving homes including right here in the
United
> States. If anyone out there has any information where we can find
blind
> or vision impaired children in the U.S. in need of a forever family,
or
> successfully adopted a child either domestically or internationally,
and
> can lend some advice/guidance and/or resources to locate the support
and
> understanding that we will need to complete a successful adoption,
> please contact me privately if you are willing at:
> sdefrancesco at optonline.net
>
> I am also willing to discuss on the list if appropriate, however, a
> private conversation may be more appropriate-either way is fine with
me.
>
>
> Thank you.
>
> Best wishes ~ Sherry DeFrancesco
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