[blparent] need to think something out

Mon Apr 12 18:28:03 UTC 2010

I did, though, think that I was never going to be able to get her little
clothes on in a timely manner. (lol) I remember thinking the day that she
was a complete wiggle worm and I dressed her in seconds flat and was out the
door, I thought and a few months ago I stood here crying because I couldn't
get that silly little outfit over her head.  Then my husband showed me how
easy it was coming up from her feet. V 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Tammy, Paul and Colyn
Sent: Friday, April 09, 2010 2:10 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] need to think something out

Hi,

Or maybe just because you were very lucky!  With remus I didn't have any of 
those thoughts but with Colyn I did, and it was horrible to say the least. 
Imagine if you thought you were a bad parent for not being able to stop your

baby from crying how much worse you'd feel if you had thoughts of getting 
rid of or harming your baby.  but it does happen, and it's okay to ask for 
help when it does.  Nobody's going to think you're a bad parent, and noone's

going to take your child away from you, just because of ppd.  It's very 
common and there is certainly help available.

hth

Tammy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Veronica Smith" <madison_tewe at spinn.net>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, April 08, 2010 5:15 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] need to think something out

> Maybe because I waited 16 years to have my darling daughter or maybe 
> because
> I was almost 40 when I had her, but not once did I ever think of harming 
> her
> or getting rid of her and anything but holding an dloving her.  All that 
> you
> all say, boggles my brain. V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Tina Ivey
> Sent: Wednesday, April 07, 2010 3:03 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] need to think something out
>
> Taking of a baby is not easy.  It is normal to think about getting rid of 
> a
> baby at times.  Please remember that htis is temporary.  Tina
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Scott Lawlor" <sklawlor at mac.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, April 06, 2010 1:01 PM
> Subject: [blparent] need to think something out
>
>
>> Hi.
>>
>> I hope you guys will indulge me as I think aloud a bit and maybe I could
>> use a bit of input, not necessarily what to do so much as maybe just 
>> using
>
>> the group as a sounding board of sorts if that's alright.
>>
>> Earlier this morning I was watching the baby and putting a diaper on her.
>> She was very wiggly and crying and I wasn't in a very good mood anyway so
>> I was annoyed and actually growled at her which was very over the top.
>>
>> Cindy asked me if I regretted having a kid and I said that I did a 
>> little.
>
>> Add to this the notion that she really wants another one and I don't 
>> think
>
>> I can go through the baby stage again, no matter how temporary things 
>> are.
>> She asked me if I wanted to leave and I told her that part of me does and
>> part of me doesn't, an answer that I hate giving because it's quite
>> ambivalent.
>>
>> For the most part, I'm happy here and though I don't enjoy it that much
>> honestly, I take care of the baby alright.
>>
>> I just don't know.  It's not a question of whether either one of us is
>> worried about being single and alone, that's not a big deal for either 
>> her
>
>> or I actually.
>>
>> But she says if I'm going to resent a child, she'll pick up on that and 
>> it
>
>> won't be healthy for her or the rest of the family.
>>
>> I'm not sure if resent is the right word.
>>
>> We compliment each other in so many ways though, she cooks and I clean up
>> and do the dishes, she's way better with the finances and I'm better with
>> the laundry.
>>
>> Like I said, for the most part, I enjoy my life here with Cindy but 
>> taking
>
>> care of a baby, I'm not so sure of all that sometimes.
>>
>> It's not the work so much, the extra laundry, the diapering and all that.
>> I'm not sure what it is exactly.
>>
>> I know I enjoy my alone time more now than I used to I think.
>>
>> I hate feeling conflicted like this and it's not like I have to decide
>> right now whether to leave or not.  She did say though that if I wanted 
>> to
>
>> leave, it would be better now than later.
>>
>> I felt more comfortable and more capable when I was exclusively in a
>> support role, doing the laundry and all that other stuff.
>>
>> I remember she was crying really hard one time when I was holding her and
>> I had this image of me throwing her through the window, not a pretty 
>> image
>
>> and I'd never do something like that but those sorts of things really
>> concern me.
>>
>> No, being a parent of a new baby hasn't been exciting for me and I 
>> haven't
>
>> enjoyed it nearly as much as Cindy has and I wasn't excited about having
>> this kid and I think it's safe to say that she wanted this child more 
>> than
>
>> I.   I do better with kids who can actually talk and who can at least 
>> tell
>
>> you what they need to some extent.
>>
>> I hope I haven't rambled too much but I just felt that I needed to write
>> some things out a bit.
>>
>>
>>
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>
>
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