[blparent] topic of paying or not paying baby proofing experts

[Veronica Smith]

Thank you, that is what I said in the first place.  Do it yourself and then
ask if you did it right. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Dena Wainwright
Sent: Thursday, February 25, 2010 1:33 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] topic of paying or not paying baby proofing experts

The implication that any blind person who hires a baby-proofing expert to
come to their home is "admitting they don't know how to take care of their
own baby" is simply ridiculous! That's like saying anyone who takes a first
aid class is admitting that their baby won't be safe around them, because
it's only a matter of time before their child stops breathing or chokes.
Have you ever heard of the concept of prevention? 

For the record, I did not have a baby-proofing expert come to my home, but
if I were adopting a child, going through a custody battle, etc., I would
absolutely want that documented proof that I went the extra mile. Any blind
person who is remotely successful in a predominantly sighted society doesn't
get that way without realizing that sometimes you just have to play the game
and jump through the hoops. Is it right that we often have to do more to
prove ourselves as capable parents? No, it is not, but that is the reality,
and if you think otherwise, than you're either luckier or more delusional
than most of us. 

There is a thriving baby-proofing industry in this country, and given that
we (meaning blind people) make up only the tiniest fragment of the parenting
demographic, someone has to be keeping that industry alive, and I'm guessing
it's not us. And, just so you understand what a baby-proofing expert does,
it isn't all about them coming into your home to tell you how to care for
your own baby. They will actually install baby-proofing products for you,
such as gates, locks, etc. I don't see how this is any different than hiring
a contractor to do something around your house that you either couldn't do,
or didn't feel comfortable doing. 

They can also identify potential dangers that, as a never-before parent, you
might not even realize are there. This has nothing to do with blindness, and
everything to do with lack of experience with children. Until I lived with a
child, I had no idea how many creative ways she could come up with to try to
damage herself. That is why we installed locks on our maintenance and
exercise room doors. Do we really think we'll be clued out enough to allow
our child the opportunity to get into either of those areas of the house?
No, of course that is not our intention. But I would rather eliminate that
possibility all together than find my child crushed under the weight of an
exercise machine, or burned because she thought the pilot light in the
furnace looked pretty.
 
I personally would rather ask for help from someone with more experience
than myself, than walk around in a little "I can do it all myself, damnit!"
bubble at the cost of my child's safety.

Dena





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