[blparent] toddler development question

Tue Jan 5 02:11:45 UTC 2010

There's a really interesting book on this subject called Unequal 
Childhoods by Annette Lareau.  The author compares the child-rearing 
beliefs and practices of middle and upper class families with poor 
and working class families.  She says that middle and upper class 
families now practice "concerted cultivation" in raising their kids, 
involving them in many activities and monitoring their development 
carefully.  Poor and working class families use what she calls the 
"natural growth" model, allowing kids to have more free time and 
allowing them to develop without constant input from adults.  There 
are strengths and weaknesses to both approaches according to the 
author.  It's a very interesting read.

Best,
Angela

At 02:00 PM 1/4/2010, you wrote:
>Unfortunately, I think there's a lot of comparing that goes on.  I 
>have to mentally stop myself from time to time comparing, since I 
>have a cousin whose son was born three weeks before Sarah.  People 
>are always comparing one to the other, whether consciously or 
>not--he's bigger, she's more agile, he got teeth first, etc.  Even 
>in the "What to Expect the First Year" book there are milestone 
>charts for every month, with what your baby should be able to do, 
>might be able to do, and so forth.  When these charts are used as 
>reference materials and nothing more, they're okay.  But when they 
>become a source of worry, maybe they should be abandoned.  I got a 
>really hard time from the WIC program for a while because Sarah was 
>slow to gain weight, but she's followed her own growth curve all the 
>way along, so I was stressed for nothing.  Keep in mind that even on 
>milestone charts, the variations of normal are very wide.  Some kids 
>excel in mobility, some in verbal skills, or whatever, but they all 
>pretty much even out in the end.  If something worries you you can 
>always ask your pediatrician on your next visit.
>
>Jo Elizabeth
>
>Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always 
>glorify the hunters.--African Proverb
>
>--------------------------------------------------
>From: "Deborah Kent Stein" <dkent5817 at worldnet.att.net>
>Sent: Monday, January 04, 2010 12:38 PM
>To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>Subject: Re: [blparent] toddler development question
>
>>
>>
>>I think it's quite natural for parents in our society to be 
>>concerned, often needlessly, about developmental milestones.  In no 
>>way does that concern suggest that the parent loves the child any less.
>>
>>Debbie
>>
>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC Inc)" 
>><REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>>To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>Sent: Monday, January 04, 2010 9:59 AM
>>Subject: Re: [blparent] toddler development question
>>
>>
>>>Why are you so concerned she'll get or be behind? Even if she is, so
>>>what. She's still a person and she's still your daughter. Don't loose
>>>sight of her humanity and your ability to love her. So long as she's
>>>happy, where she is on a continuum is irrellivant.
>>>
>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>On Behalf Of Veronica Smith
>>>Sent: Wednesday, December 30, 2009 12:24 PM
>>>To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] toddler development question
>>>
>>>If you want to keep the puzzles put up then do so.  Take them out now
>>>and
>>>then and work on them yourself.  Puzzles are quite challenging for a
>>>blind
>>>parent, but not impossible.  Maybe if you are pondering over it, she
>>>will
>>>try them.  If you try and she is not interested, then put it away for
>>>another time. V
>>>
>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>On
>>>Behalf Of Nikki Fugett-Dobens
>>>Sent: Wednesday, December 30, 2009 6:23 AM
>>>To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] toddler development question
>>>
>>>Thank you.  Mackenzie got a whole set of little musical instruments and
>>>a
>>>guitar, and she loves them.  We're pretty sure she's musical.  The
>>>problem
>>>with the puzzles is I like to kind of supervise it, because I don't want
>>>to
>>>lose the pieces, so  I like to supervise it.  It makes them hard to
>>>leave
>>>them out, I like to make it organized play.  Is that even possible with
>>>a
>>>toddler? Her attention span is pretty short.  I'm just so afraid she'll
>>>get
>>>behind somehow, but I don't want to have too high of expectations.
>>>Thanks.
>>>    Nikki
>>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Kliph" <phantom3919 at yahoo.com>
>>>To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>Sent: Wednesday, December 30, 2009 7:55 AM
>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] toddler develo npment question
>>>
>>>
>>>>It's normal, just don't try and force it on her.  If you leave it
>>>where
>>>>the
>>>>rest of her toys are, or where she can find it, she will play with it
>>>on
>>>>her
>>>>own time.  My 2 year old is the same way, if it's not my lap top, or
>>>her
>>>>mom's blackberry, then she doesn't want anything to do with it.
>>>Although
>>>>she got ait makes them hard to leave out.  That's why I was trying to
>>>kind
>>>
>>>>of make it organized play.  Is that even possible with a toddler? Her
>>>>attention span is pretty short.  Thanks.
>>>
>>>    Nikki     doll for Christmas that giggles all the time, and she
>>>seems to
>>>>like that.  But trust me, this behavior is normal.
>>>>
>>>>Are you married and a Christian?  Do you want to improve or save your
>>>>marriage?  Then come join our family of Married Christian couples at
>>>>Committed-Married-Christians-subscribe at yahoogroups.com
>>>>I garentee you will not regret it, and your marriage will thank you!
>>>>It's for Husband's and Wives, packed with articles, resources, and
>>>>discussions to help you with your lifelong unity with 1 another: hope
>>>to
>>>>see
>>>>you there!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>>From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>On
>>>>Behalf Of Nikki Fugett-Dobens
>>>>Sent: Wednesday, December 30, 2009 6:02 AM
>>>>To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>Subject: [blparent] toddler development question
>>>>
>>>>Hi group.  I hope you all had a good Christmas.
>>>>I had a question about toddler development.  My 17 month old got some
>>>>puzzles for Christmas.  They are for children who are a year and a
>>>half
>>>>old.
>>>>They are the ones with the big pieces so they're easy to handle for
>>>her.
>>>>So
>>>>far, Mackenzie has always been pretty advanced for her age, she learns
>>>>pretty quickly.  However, I tried to interest her in putting together
>>>a
>>>>puzzle, and she didn't seem interested.  I took one piece out, and
>>>asked
>>>>her
>>>>to put it back, and she either tried to make the piece fit and
>>>couldn't,
>>>>or
>>>>she just wasn't interested.
>>>>She isn't really interested in her shape sorter either.  I think she
>>>has
>>>>mastered the circle, but she doesn't want to play with the other
>>>shapes.
>>>>Is
>>>>this developmentally appropriate for her age? How can I get her
>>>interested
>>>>in these concepts and toys? Mackenzie likes to climb and run, and she
>>>>loves
>>>>her musical toys, but honestly, other than that, she isn't really
>>>>interested
>>>>in toys.  She would rather play with a cell phone or my computer.
>>>Thanks
>>>>for any advice you have, and I hope all of you have a happy new year.
>>>>    Nikki
>>>>_______________________________________________
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