[blparent] Choosing Your Battles with Your Children

[Rhonda Scott]

Hi all,

How do some of you decide what is worth disciplining for, and what is really not a huge deal? In our house we have quite a bit of fibbing and lying, which is a very sore spot with me. We also have a tiny bit of Deven helping himself to things that don't belong to him because he feels he needs them for something he wants to do, or to food, which I don't mind so much except he eats in the living room and leaves a trail behind him. It really is a matter of asking for that screwdriver he needs to take the lid off a battery compartment to replace the batteries in a toy. But desk drawers where those are kept are 1 of the places off limits. He recently took sewing needles from my sewing box because he wanted to poke holes in something, and he did not take the time to tell me he broke those needles, or to clean up the remnants of the needles.

So I'm frustrated, and trying to learn to pick my battles. I have tried explaining to him that some of the things he does can hurt people, like fragments of needles in carpets, and that asking would really get him a lot further than taking. But no taking away of things or discussing, or explaining are getting me anywhere with him. Nothing he owns seems to mean enough to him that punishing him by taking toys and such away makes any difference.

Thoughts and feedback appreciated.

Rhonda