[blparent] Choosing Your Battles with Your Children

[Veronica Smith]

You know this is a bery common delemma.  On one hand you say this is your
home, thus, everything that belongs to you also belongs to them?  You are
not alone inthis situation.   I hear these same complaints from the parents
of Gab's friends.  Heck, I have these same complaints myself.  The scissors
continuously disappear.  The box of bandaids have more than once become a
first aid box for dolls and my sewing kit, although needles were not broken,
were borrowed and left in the carpet.  
Then there's the other side of the coin, she always asks to watch TV, always
asks if she can go out, never takes food without asking, never eats in the
livingroom without first putting down a towel, never calls her friends
without asking.  
I get so frustrated when things disappear and I can't find them.  I just
keep reminding that some things are off limits even to her who lives in this
house. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Rhonda Scott
Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2010 2:40 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] Choosing Your Battles with Your Children

Hi all,

How do some of you decide what is worth disciplining for, and what is really
not a huge deal? In our house we have quite a bit of fibbing and lying,
which is a very sore spot with me. We also have a tiny bit of Deven helping
himself to things that don't belong to him because he feels he needs them
for something he wants to do, or to food, which I don't mind so much except
he eats in the living room and leaves a trail behind him. It really is a
matter of asking for that screwdriver he needs to take the lid off a battery
compartment to replace the batteries in a toy. But desk drawers where those
are kept are 1 of the places off limits. He recently took sewing needles
from my sewing box because he wanted to poke holes in something, and he did
not take the time to tell me he broke those needles, or to clean up the
remnants of the needles.

So I'm frustrated, and trying to learn to pick my battles. I have tried
explaining to him that some of the things he does can hurt people, like
fragments of needles in carpets, and that asking would really get him a lot
further than taking. But no taking away of things or discussing, or
explaining are getting me anywhere with him. Nothing he owns seems to mean
enough to him that punishing him by taking toys and such away makes any
difference.

Thoughts and feedback appreciated.

Rhonda

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