[blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

[Tammy, Paul and Colyn]

Hi,

I have been with my family doctor now for a little over 2 years, and he was 
very scepticle of my abilities in the beginning as were his staff.  It's a 
pain, but I had to basically put up with a lot of stupid questions and how 
do you do this or that kind of questions especially parenting things like 
changing diapers etc.  He even had issues with me and my husband who is also 
totally blind when we wanted to have another baby.  Maybe it was when I 
brought the new baby in for a checkup that changed his mind about us, but 
something in the last year or a little over shifted and he actually talks to 
me like a normal parent now, and I find that I like and trust him now too.
So just hang in there, and put up with the dumb questions.  The more he sees 
of you and the more you answer his questions to the best of your ability, 
the more comfortable he'll become with you and when you do get to adopt a 
child your relationship with him will be strong and stable and he won't 
question you anymore.  He'll know you're a good parent.

hth

Tammy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Miranda Borka" <knownoflove at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at NFBnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:36 PM
Subject: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for 
educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person


> Hi,
> I recently found out that my insurance covers a private doctor in my city, 
> and I had my first appointment with him yesterday. Part of this 
> appointment involved my physical for our fostercare-adoption process.
> After seeing the form, the doctor said, "I'm not wanting to sound rude, 
> but how do you plan to parent a child? Will the children be Blind since 
> you are?" I told him that the children would not be Blind, and that it is 
> difficult to find a child in the U.S fostercare system who is Blind 
> without that child having other multiple special needs. He then asked, "Is 
> your husband sighted?" I again answered "No." He asked, "I'm sure you can 
> hear a pin drop, but how would that make you able to parent?" I reassured 
> him that I knew of many successful parents who just happened to be Blind, 
> and that it was not impossible. I further explained that although as a 
> parent who happens to be Blind I may need to make some adaptions, it was 
> not impossible.
> Although very shocked and amazed, he seemed satisfied with my response, 
> and clearly admitted to never knowing a Blind person who could or wanted 
> to be a parent. In the end, he put on my foster-adopt physical form, "She 
> is Blind, but very capable and ambitious." Although I do wish he wouldn't 
> have made my Blindness a point on the form (as it had already been noted", 
> I figured it best to leave well enough alone.
>
> I have had friends suggest I leave this doctor and go to a more respectful 
> doctor. However, I disagree. First, I am aware that it is a fact that most 
> of the sighted general public are uneducated about Blindness and aspects 
> of living as a person who is Blind like parenting. I can't run away from 
> these situations, as it would not only deepen the stereotype that Blind 
> people are not independent, but it would not set a good example of how to 
> handle adverse situations to anyone watching (including our children when 
> they enter our home).
> Furthermore, as my doctor said,  he was uneducated about Blindness and the 
> ability for a person who is Blind to parent. I don't believe that walking 
> away from this doctor would aid in educating him, and I honestly felt 
> sorry for him and his lack of education. I'll admit to feeling initially 
> defensive at his insessent questioning of my capability to parent, but I 
> suddenly wanted to educate him.
>
> Whether my doctor realizes it or not, he has challenged me to go in to my 
> next appointment (or contact his office) very equipped with information, 
> materials and/or knowledge to educate and empower him to understand and 
> work with myself and any other Blind person he comes in contact with who 
> is or wishes to be a parent.
>
> I write all of this to ask for your feedback. Can anyone of you share how 
> you've dealt with situations like this? Can you share any literature, 
> materials or anything I can provide my doctor so he can see for himself 
> that what I am saying is indeed true? I want him to be able to be 
> informed, and not to just take my word for it.
> Any feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated.
> Thanks in advance, and have a great week!
>
> In Christ, Miranda
>
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