[blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions foreducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

[Elizabeth Cooks]

As well they should apologize for such behavior.  It is unacceptable.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Leanne Merren" <leemer02 at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 2:20 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions 
foreducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person


> Hi Miranda,
> I think you have a great attitude about it.
> I was part of a document that was put together a while back by a woman on 
> another blindparenting list.  Not sure if she's on this list or not.  But 
> it went through lots of things like how to keep track of children in 
> public, how to give medications, etc.  I'm not sure if I still have it 
> around, but I'm pretty sure the MCB was given a copy, so you could contact 
> them and see if they still have it.
> I've had run ins with a few doctors, and I just stood my ground and 
> answered any questions they had, as any parent would answer questions from 
> their doctor.  I try not to get defensive, unless I think they're way out 
> of line, like when I wasn't allowed to keep my baby in my room by myself 
> when my first one was born, or when a new doctor kept me waiting in the 
> exam room for a half hour while she talked to her superior about who would 
> care for the baby, even though it was my third child.  No parent would 
> just sit in the room and let it go, and neither would I.  I got lots of 
> apologies from the staff at the hospital where my first baby was born, and 
> I'm sure they were hoping I wouldn't sue them, as they made a lot of 
> mistakes with his birth.  The new pediatrician that we started seeing when 
> my third child was born knows now that she can ask questions if she needs 
> to, but mostly she praises everything I do, maybe a little too much, but 
> at least I know she believes my children are in good hands.  So you're 
> right, it's about educating them the best way you can, and if you act 
> confident, that will help your case a lot.  After all, why wouldn't you be 
> confident? :-)
> Let me know if you're able to get your hands on that booklet.  I'll look 
> around here and see if I can find it.
> Leanne
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Miranda Borka" <knownoflove at gmail.com>
> To: <blparent at NFBnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:36 PM
> Subject: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for 
> educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person
>
>
>> Hi,
>> I recently found out that my insurance covers a private doctor in my 
>> city, and I had my first appointment with him yesterday. Part of this 
>> appointment involved my physical for our fostercare-adoption process.
>> After seeing the form, the doctor said, "I'm not wanting to sound rude, 
>> but how do you plan to parent a child? Will the children be Blind since 
>> you are?" I told him that the children would not be Blind, and that it is 
>> difficult to find a child in the U.S fostercare system who is Blind 
>> without that child having other multiple special needs. He then asked, 
>> "Is your husband sighted?" I again answered "No." He asked, "I'm sure you 
>> can hear a pin drop, but how would that make you able to parent?" I 
>> reassured him that I knew of many successful parents who just happened to 
>> be Blind, and that it was not impossible. I further explained that 
>> although as a parent who happens to be Blind I may need to make some 
>> adaptions, it was not impossible.
>> Although very shocked and amazed, he seemed satisfied with my response, 
>> and clearly admitted to never knowing a Blind person who could or wanted 
>> to be a parent. In the end, he put on my foster-adopt physical form, "She 
>> is Blind, but very capable and ambitious." Although I do wish he wouldn't 
>> have made my Blindness a point on the form (as it had already been 
>> noted", I figured it best to leave well enough alone.
>>
>> I have had friends suggest I leave this doctor and go to a more 
>> respectful doctor. However, I disagree. First, I am aware that it is a 
>> fact that most of the sighted general public are uneducated about 
>> Blindness and aspects of living as a person who is Blind like parenting. 
>> I can't run away from these situations, as it would not only deepen the 
>> stereotype that Blind people are not independent, but it would not set a 
>> good example of how to handle adverse situations to anyone watching 
>> (including our children when they enter our home).
>> Furthermore, as my doctor said,  he was uneducated about Blindness and 
>> the ability for a person who is Blind to parent. I don't believe that 
>> walking away from this doctor would aid in educating him, and I honestly 
>> felt sorry for him and his lack of education. I'll admit to feeling 
>> initially defensive at his insessent questioning of my capability to 
>> parent, but I suddenly wanted to educate him.
>>
>> Whether my doctor realizes it or not, he has challenged me to go in to my 
>> next appointment (or contact his office) very equipped with information, 
>> materials and/or knowledge to educate and empower him to understand and 
>> work with myself and any other Blind person he comes in contact with who 
>> is or wishes to be a parent.
>>
>> I write all of this to ask for your feedback. Can anyone of you share how 
>> you've dealt with situations like this? Can you share any literature, 
>> materials or anything I can provide my doctor so he can see for himself 
>> that what I am saying is indeed true? I want him to be able to be 
>> informed, and not to just take my word for it.
>> Any feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated.
>> Thanks in advance, and have a great week!
>>
>> In Christ, Miranda
>>
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>
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