[blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestionsforeducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person

Wed Mar 31 14:40:10 UTC 2010

Joy,
I think your post makes perfect sense.  You can't know what life is like for 
someone else if you have never walked in their shoes.  I think blindness 
seems like the worse possible thing that could happen to someone, because 
sight is everything to them.  So they wonder how in the world we could 
manage to raise children, or even take care of ourselves for that matter, 
without being able to see.
I recently posted something on facebook that generated a lot of 
conversation.  I had an older man at my church say to me "You're pretty 
happy for a blind person."  At first I had no idea how to respond to that, 
but then I realized that what he was trying to say was that I obviously 
didn't mind being blind, and that I am happy with the life I have.  So I 
thanked him.  Sure it probably could have been said in a much nicer way, but 
knowing this man as I do, that's just him, and it didn't offend me.  He is 
always asking me questions, and I always answer him.
Now, there was the lady who I had never met before, who had the nerve to ask 
me how I know if my period is starting, and that threw me for a loop. lol 
You just never know what people will ask.
Leanne
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Joy Wolf" <joy at kevinlwolf.net>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 10:21 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other 
suggestionsforeducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person


>I totally agree here.  After all, if this doctor, or any other professional
> for that matter, has questions or concerns, and we leave him/her wondering
> about the answers, I think that is leaving those questions open to often
> lacking knowledge and faulty interpretations.  Not sure if that makes 
> sense,
> but I guess my thought is if I don't tell him, who will? One other thing
> that I have learned over the years is this.  I used to get very defensive
> about questions that were asked and concerns raised, some of them 
> downright
> ridiculous, to be honest.  It took me a very long time to understand that 
> as
> individuals, all we really have to go by are our own life experiences. 
> So,
> having said that, someone who is sighted often has absolutely no earthly
> idea how they themselves would do something if they were blind.  So, I 
> think
> that often times it is that person's own insecurity and even fear that we
> see, and maybe not a direct judgment on us as blind parents, employees,
> patients, or whatever the case might be.  Sorry if this doesn't make 
> sense,
> I'm having a very long and rather tough week, so little sleep, lol.  I 
> just
> think that in order to show a person where we are coming from, so to 
> speak,
> it helps to remember that that person is likely in a very different place,
> especially if he or she is asking a ton of silly questions.  Have a great
> week everyone.
>
> Joy and family
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Veronica Smith
> Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 9:10 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions
> foreducating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person
>
> For one I think you made a wise choice sticking with that doctor.  You do
> need to educate him so if he ever has another blind patient he will know
> what they are capable of.  I would find a good colonel book that deals 
> with
> similar situations and give it to him, this is what I have done time and
> time again.  Maybe the fact that he wrote the words blind on your form is
> not necessarily a bad thing, you don't want techs assuming you can see, 
> when
> it will be better for you if they describe procedures.  You go girl! V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Miranda Borka
> Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 11:37 AM
> To: blparent at NFBnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] Looking for Literature or other suggestions for
> educating my new DR. On parenting as a Blind person
>
> Hi,
> I recently found out that my insurance covers a private doctor in my city,
> and I had my first appointment with him yesterday. Part of this 
> appointment
> involved my physical for our fostercare-adoption process.
> After seeing the form, the doctor said, "I'm not wanting to sound rude, 
> but
> how do you plan to parent a child? Will the children be Blind since you
> are?" I told him that the children would not be Blind, and that it is
> difficult to find a child in the U.S fostercare system who is Blind 
> without
> that child having other multiple special needs. He then asked, "Is your
> husband sighted?" I again answered "No." He asked, "I'm sure you can hear 
> a
> pin drop, but how would that make you able to parent?" I reassured him 
> that
> I knew of many successful parents who just happened to be Blind, and that 
> it
> was not impossible. I further explained that although as a parent who
> happens to be Blind I may need to make some adaptions, it was not
> impossible.
> Although very shocked and amazed, he seemed satisfied with my response, 
> and
> clearly admitted to never knowing a Blind person who could or wanted to be 
> a
> parent. In the end, he put on my foster-adopt physical form, "She is 
> Blind,
> but very capable and ambitious." Although I do wish he wouldn't have made 
> my
> Blindness a point on the form (as it had already been noted", I figured it
> best to leave well enough alone.
>
> I have had friends suggest I leave this doctor and go to a more respectful
> doctor. However, I disagree. First, I am aware that it is a fact that most
> of the sighted general public are uneducated about Blindness and aspects 
> of
> living as a person who is Blind like parenting. I can't run away from 
> these
> situations, as it would not only deepen the stereotype that Blind people 
> are
> not independent, but it would not set a good example of how to handle
> adverse situations to anyone watching (including our children when they
> enter our home).
> Furthermore, as my doctor said,  he was uneducated about Blindness and the
> ability for a person who is Blind to parent. I don't believe that walking
> away from this doctor would aid in educating him, and I honestly felt 
> sorry
> for him and his lack of education. I'll admit to feeling initially 
> defensive
> at his insessent questioning of my capability to parent, but I suddenly
> wanted to educate him.
>
> Whether my doctor realizes it or not, he has challenged me to go in to my
> next appointment (or contact his office) very equipped with information,
> materials and/or knowledge to educate and empower him to understand and 
> work
> with myself and any other Blind person he comes in contact with who is or
> wishes to be a parent.
>
> I write all of this to ask for your feedback. Can anyone of you share how
> you've dealt with situations like this? Can you share any literature,
> materials or anything I can provide my doctor so he can see for himself 
> that
> what I am saying is indeed true? I want him to be able to be informed, and
> not to just take my word for it.
> Any feedback and ideas would be greatly appreciated.
> Thanks in advance, and have a great week!
>
> In Christ, Miranda
>
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