[blparent] challenges with dressing an infant

Scott Lawlor sklawlor at mac.com
Mon May 3 20:28:47 UTC 2010 

those notions of two kids seeming like having one when they're close in age 
are hers and not mine.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Dena Wainwright" <dena at envogueaccess.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 2:42 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant


> Scott:
>
> I'm confused. You mentioned a very short time ago that you weren't even 
> sure how you felt about parenting the child you already have. Why on earth 
> would you even think about bringing another baby into the world until you 
> have worked to resolve those feelings? That just seems very irresponsible 
> to me.
>
> Yes, it's true that having two children close in age can foster a sense of 
> "having each other." However, I've also seen them fight like cats and dogs 
> from dawn until dusk, and unfortunately, you can't exactly custom order 
> that sort of thing.
>
> Also, the idea that it will somehow seem like less work to have 2 babies 
> in the house instead of 1 seems, quite frankly, ridiculous. I have friends 
> with twins (so obviously they are going through everything at virtually 
> the same time), and I also have friends with kids who are 16 and 20 months 
> apart (so pretty close in age). None of them have ever said, "wow, this 
> really doesn't feel like a big deal." In fact, one said jokingly that if 
> she hadn't had hers in a set of 2, there'd only be 1 child in her life. 
> Keep in mind, that when you have 2 that are very close in age, you've got 
> 2 sets of diapers to change, 2 kids that will likely be sick at the same 
> time, 2 kids to dress and bathe, 2 kids to feed, 2 kids to get to bed at 
> night, etc.
>
>
> All of the people I'm talking about *really* wanted 2 kids (not only one 
> of the parents, but both parents). I absolutely agree that if *both* 
> people are not 100% committed to the idea of having more than 1 child, it 
> can be a huge (and sometimes even irreconcilable) source of tension, 
> resentment, etc. If it turned out that I desperately wanted another baby, 
> and my husband was dead set against it, yes, there would be some sadness, 
> frustration, etc. for me to resolve. However, I feel pretty confident that 
> I could get over those feelings, knowing I have a beautiful daughter, and 
> a partner who loves us both. Conversely, if I pushed and pushed until he 
> finally threw up his hands and agreed to have a second child, the stress 
> of having 2 young kids to care for, the resentment of having been forced 
> into something he didn't want, and the fact that we would have virtually 
> no time left for one another would likely mean that I would no longer have 
> a marriage, and my kids would no longer have both of their parents around 
> full time. It just doesn't seem worth it to me.
>
> Dena
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Scott Lawlor" <sklawlor at mac.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 12:05 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>
>
>> actually, she works from home so we're together 95% of the time.
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Elizabeth Cooks" <elizabethcooks at comcast.net>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 11:15 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>
>>
>>> My two are five and fifteen months, and i like it much better that 
>>> way.It gives me a little more room to breathe.  Besides, if she's 
>>> working and ypu're home with both children, she won't see how hard it is 
>>> for a parent ot care for two children so close in age.
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "Marla Wertman" <marla.wertman at verizon.net>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 9:38 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>
>>>
>>>> Well, all I can say is that if your going to have another one, both of
>>>> you have to be in total agreement on it, or it shouldn't happen.  I
>>>> think there are advantages and disadvantages of 2 children being close
>>>> in age, but if she is working, and you are going to be home with both 
>>>> of
>>>> them all day, and you don't want another one, this can cause a lot of
>>>> problems.
>>>>
>>>> On Mon, 03 May 2010 09:16:39 -0500
>>>> Scott Lawlor <sklawlor at mac.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> that's a good point.
>>>>>
>>>>> Frustration can often hinder in accomplishing a task so I would think 
>>>>> that
>>>>> heading that off would help a good bit.
>>>>>
>>>>> We've decided not to talk about having another one just yet because it
>>>>> doesn't bring up good feelings for either of us but she wants to 
>>>>> revisit
>>>>> this because she'd like to start trying again in the fall for another 
>>>>> one.
>>>>>
>>>>> Her thoughts are that if they're close in age, they'll grow up 
>>>>> together with
>>>>> similar interests, will have each other to play with and having the 
>>>>> two will
>>>>> seem like one.  I don't see that and probably never will but for you 
>>>>> guys
>>>>> who have two very close in age, how much more complicated has that 
>>>>> sort of
>>>>> setup been for you?
>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 7:41 AM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> > And, did she really have her eyes closed?
>>>>> > Even if yes it may she's just better at getting her hands to do what 
>>>>> > she
>>>>> > wants them to do then you or, or that she's just had more practice, 
>>>>> > or
>>>>> > because babies respond differently to mom and dad.
>>>>> > Not really sure though what problem you're trying to solve, your
>>>>> > frustration, you getting the baby dressed, or you getting her to 
>>>>> > agree
>>>>> > that it's okay for you to be frustrated
>>>>> >
>>>>> > -----Original Message-----
>>>>> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> > [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> > On Behalf Of Veronica Smith
>>>>> > Sent: Saturday, May 01, 2010 6:56 PM
>>>>> > To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Ok, did she change your baby when squirming or in sleepy mode? v
>>>>> >
>>>>> > -----Original Message-----
>>>>> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> > [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> > On
>>>>> > Behalf Of Scott Lawlor
>>>>> > Sent: Saturday, May 01, 2010 11:35 AM
>>>>> > To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >
>>>>> > she tried it and it made no difference at all.  She was just as
>>>>> > efficient as
>>>>> >
>>>>> > ever.  We have this running joke that she's really a borg. lol.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> > From: "Joy Wolf" <joy at kevinlwolf.net>
>>>>> > To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> > Sent: Saturday, May 01, 2010 7:10 AM
>>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >
>>>>> >
>>>>> >>I totally agree, I'd push it a bit and get her to try it.  It can be 
>>>>> >>a
>>>>> > real
>>>>> >> awakening, so to speak, lol
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> Joy and family
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> >> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> >> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> > On
>>>>> >> Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
>>>>> >> Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 9:03 PM
>>>>> >> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> Tell her to humor you and try it any way.  Just because she says 
>>>>> >> she
>>>>> > can
>>>>> >> doesn't mean she can.
>>>>> >> Barbara
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> A Congress that will always do its work in the dark must have
>>>>> > something to
>>>>> >> hide.  The people have spoken, yet they do not listen.
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>> >> From: "Scott Lawlor" <sklawlor at mac.com>
>>>>> >> Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 5:50 PM
>>>>> >> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>> Hi all.
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> Thanks for the suggestions.  I suggested that Cindy close her eyes
>>>>> > and
>>>>> >>> try
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>> getting Leah's pants on and she just said that since she could 
>>>>> >>> see,
>>>>> > she'd
>>>>> >>> still be able to do it with no problems.  I hadn't thought of 
>>>>> >>> putting
>>>>> > her
>>>>> >>> on my lap.  She's 3 months old so still quite squirmy.  We have a
>>>>> >>> changing
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>> table and diapering her isn't so difficult anymore but there's no
>>>>> > safety
>>>>> >>> strap.
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> I've tried putting one foot in and then the other but usually what
>>>>> > can
>>>>> >>> happen is she'll kick the foot I just put in out so I have to try 
>>>>> >>> it
>>>>> >>> again. Sometimes I'll be able to get the feet through the legs and
>>>>> > then
>>>>> >>> pull the pante over the knees and then I can pull them up over the
>>>>> > diaper
>>>>> >>> but it's hit and miss sometimes.
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> >>> From: "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
>>>>> >>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> >>> Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 3:53 PM
>>>>> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>> Scott,
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> Have you tried holding the baby on your lap facing away from you?
>>>>> > You
>>>>> >>>> can reach around the baby and maintain some control with your 
>>>>> >>>> arms.
>>>>> > If
>>>>> >>>> the baby is really
>>>>> >>>> squirmy, you might want to sit on the floor to do this. 
>>>>> >>>> Otherwise,
>>>>> > also
>>>>> >>>> try a changing table with a safety strap which would allow you to
>>>>> >>>> concentrate completely on
>>>>> >>>> getting the clothes on.  You will probably have to remove the 
>>>>> >>>> safety
>>>>> >>>> strap to finalize things, but you should be able to get legs and
>>>>> > arms
>>>>> >>>> through the pants or shirt.  If
>>>>> >>>> none of this works, tell us what you have tried that didn't work 
>>>>> >>>> and
>>>>> >>>> maybe we'll get a better sense of what to suggest.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> Best regards,
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> Steve Jacobson
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> On Fri, 30 Apr 2010 09:11:39 -0500, Scott Lawlor wrote:
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>Hi.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>Are there any good tips you guy can provide on dressing squirmy
>>>>> > babies?
>>>>> >>>>>It
>>>>> >>>>>seems that putting the legs through the pants is the issue that I
>>>>> > find
>>>>> >>>>>so
>>>>> >>>>>annoying and frustrating at the moment.  Cindy thinks it's
>>>>> > ridiculous
>>>>> >>>>>that I
>>>>> >>>>>get so frustrated with something like this and maybe it is. 
>>>>> >>>>>After
>>>>> > all,
>>>>> >>>>>it's
>>>>> >>>>>a pretty small thing, but nevertheless, it's not fair for the 
>>>>> >>>>>baby
>>>>> > that
>>>>> >>>>>I
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>>>>be
>>>>> >>>>>that way, even if for a short time.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>I've tried to refocus and that seems to help but I'd like to head
>>>>> > this
>>>>> >>>>>off
>>>>> >>>>>even before it becomes an issue, if that makes any sense.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>Thanks for the help if possible.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>Scott
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>_______________________________________________
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>>>>> > bson
>>>>> > %
>>>>> >> 40visi.com
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
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>>>>
>>>> Marla Wertman
>>>> Avon representative
>>>> http://www.youravon.com/mwertman
>>>>
>>>>
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