[blparent] challenges with dressing an infant

Tue May 4 03:50:53 UTC 2010

Yes, but you were entertaining the idea.  Anyway, it is up to you and your
partner what the two of you will or won't do.  Me and the others on this
list are just trying to help and I want to remind you, these are just our
opinions.  Take our advice for what it's worth, okay? V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Scott Lawlor
Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 2:29 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant

those notions of two kids seeming like having one when they're close in age 
are hers and not mine.

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Dena Wainwright" <dena at envogueaccess.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 2:42 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant

> Scott:
>
> I'm confused. You mentioned a very short time ago that you weren't even 
> sure how you felt about parenting the child you already have. Why on earth

> would you even think about bringing another baby into the world until you 
> have worked to resolve those feelings? That just seems very irresponsible 
> to me.
>
> Yes, it's true that having two children close in age can foster a sense of

> "having each other." However, I've also seen them fight like cats and dogs

> from dawn until dusk, and unfortunately, you can't exactly custom order 
> that sort of thing.
>
> Also, the idea that it will somehow seem like less work to have 2 babies 
> in the house instead of 1 seems, quite frankly, ridiculous. I have friends

> with twins (so obviously they are going through everything at virtually 
> the same time), and I also have friends with kids who are 16 and 20 months

> apart (so pretty close in age). None of them have ever said, "wow, this 
> really doesn't feel like a big deal." In fact, one said jokingly that if 
> she hadn't had hers in a set of 2, there'd only be 1 child in her life. 
> Keep in mind, that when you have 2 that are very close in age, you've got 
> 2 sets of diapers to change, 2 kids that will likely be sick at the same 
> time, 2 kids to dress and bathe, 2 kids to feed, 2 kids to get to bed at 
> night, etc.
>
>
> All of the people I'm talking about *really* wanted 2 kids (not only one 
> of the parents, but both parents). I absolutely agree that if *both* 
> people are not 100% committed to the idea of having more than 1 child, it 
> can be a huge (and sometimes even irreconcilable) source of tension, 
> resentment, etc. If it turned out that I desperately wanted another baby, 
> and my husband was dead set against it, yes, there would be some sadness, 
> frustration, etc. for me to resolve. However, I feel pretty confident that

> I could get over those feelings, knowing I have a beautiful daughter, and 
> a partner who loves us both. Conversely, if I pushed and pushed until he 
> finally threw up his hands and agreed to have a second child, the stress 
> of having 2 young kids to care for, the resentment of having been forced 
> into something he didn't want, and the fact that we would have virtually 
> no time left for one another would likely mean that I would no longer have

> a marriage, and my kids would no longer have both of their parents around 
> full time. It just doesn't seem worth it to me.
>
> Dena
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Scott Lawlor" <sklawlor at mac.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 12:05 PM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>
>
>> actually, she works from home so we're together 95% of the time.
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Elizabeth Cooks" <elizabethcooks at comcast.net>
>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 11:15 AM
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>
>>
>>> My two are five and fifteen months, and i like it much better that 
>>> way.It gives me a little more room to breathe.  Besides, if she's 
>>> working and ypu're home with both children, she won't see how hard it is

>>> for a parent ot care for two children so close in age.
>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>> From: "Marla Wertman" <marla.wertman at verizon.net>
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 9:38 AM
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>
>>>
>>>> Well, all I can say is that if your going to have another one, both of
>>>> you have to be in total agreement on it, or it shouldn't happen.  I
>>>> think there are advantages and disadvantages of 2 children being close
>>>> in age, but if she is working, and you are going to be home with both 
>>>> of
>>>> them all day, and you don't want another one, this can cause a lot of
>>>> problems.
>>>>
>>>> On Mon, 03 May 2010 09:16:39 -0500
>>>> Scott Lawlor <sklawlor at mac.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> that's a good point.
>>>>>
>>>>> Frustration can often hinder in accomplishing a task so I would think 
>>>>> that
>>>>> heading that off would help a good bit.
>>>>>
>>>>> We've decided not to talk about having another one just yet because it
>>>>> doesn't bring up good feelings for either of us but she wants to 
>>>>> revisit
>>>>> this because she'd like to start trying again in the fall for another 
>>>>> one.
>>>>>
>>>>> Her thoughts are that if they're close in age, they'll grow up 
>>>>> together with
>>>>> similar interests, will have each other to play with and having the 
>>>>> two will
>>>>> seem like one.  I don't see that and probably never will but for you 
>>>>> guys
>>>>> who have two very close in age, how much more complicated has that 
>>>>> sort of
>>>>> setup been for you?
>>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 03, 2010 7:41 AM
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> > And, did she really have her eyes closed?
>>>>> > Even if yes it may she's just better at getting her hands to do what

>>>>> > she
>>>>> > wants them to do then you or, or that she's just had more practice, 
>>>>> > or
>>>>> > because babies respond differently to mom and dad.
>>>>> > Not really sure though what problem you're trying to solve, your
>>>>> > frustration, you getting the baby dressed, or you getting her to 
>>>>> > agree
>>>>> > that it's okay for you to be frustrated
>>>>> >
>>>>> > -----Original Message-----
>>>>> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> > [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> > On Behalf Of Veronica Smith
>>>>> > Sent: Saturday, May 01, 2010 6:56 PM
>>>>> > To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Ok, did she change your baby when squirming or in sleepy mode? v
>>>>> >
>>>>> > -----Original Message-----
>>>>> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> > [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> > On
>>>>> > Behalf Of Scott Lawlor
>>>>> > Sent: Saturday, May 01, 2010 11:35 AM
>>>>> > To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >
>>>>> > she tried it and it made no difference at all.  She was just as
>>>>> > efficient as
>>>>> >
>>>>> > ever.  We have this running joke that she's really a borg. lol.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> > From: "Joy Wolf" <joy at kevinlwolf.net>
>>>>> > To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> > Sent: Saturday, May 01, 2010 7:10 AM
>>>>> > Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >
>>>>> >
>>>>> >>I totally agree, I'd push it a bit and get her to try it.  It can be

>>>>> >>a
>>>>> > real
>>>>> >> awakening, so to speak, lol
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> Joy and family
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> >> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>>>>> >> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> > On
>>>>> >> Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
>>>>> >> Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 9:03 PM
>>>>> >> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> Tell her to humor you and try it any way.  Just because she says 
>>>>> >> she
>>>>> > can
>>>>> >> doesn't mean she can.
>>>>> >> Barbara
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> A Congress that will always do its work in the dark must have
>>>>> > something to
>>>>> >> hide.  The people have spoken, yet they do not listen.
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>> >> From: "Scott Lawlor" <sklawlor at mac.com>
>>>>> >> Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 5:50 PM
>>>>> >> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>> Hi all.
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> Thanks for the suggestions.  I suggested that Cindy close her eyes
>>>>> > and
>>>>> >>> try
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>> getting Leah's pants on and she just said that since she could 
>>>>> >>> see,
>>>>> > she'd
>>>>> >>> still be able to do it with no problems.  I hadn't thought of 
>>>>> >>> putting
>>>>> > her
>>>>> >>> on my lap.  She's 3 months old so still quite squirmy.  We have a
>>>>> >>> changing
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>> table and diapering her isn't so difficult anymore but there's no
>>>>> > safety
>>>>> >>> strap.
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> I've tried putting one foot in and then the other but usually what
>>>>> > can
>>>>> >>> happen is she'll kick the foot I just put in out so I have to try 
>>>>> >>> it
>>>>> >>> again. Sometimes I'll be able to get the feet through the legs and
>>>>> > then
>>>>> >>> pull the pante over the knees and then I can pull them up over the
>>>>> > diaper
>>>>> >>> but it's hit and miss sometimes.
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>> >>> From: "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
>>>>> >>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> >>> Sent: Friday, April 30, 2010 3:53 PM
>>>>> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] challenges with dressing an infant
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>
>>>>> >>>> Scott,
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> Have you tried holding the baby on your lap facing away from you?
>>>>> > You
>>>>> >>>> can reach around the baby and maintain some control with your 
>>>>> >>>> arms.
>>>>> > If
>>>>> >>>> the baby is really
>>>>> >>>> squirmy, you might want to sit on the floor to do this. 
>>>>> >>>> Otherwise,
>>>>> > also
>>>>> >>>> try a changing table with a safety strap which would allow you to
>>>>> >>>> concentrate completely on
>>>>> >>>> getting the clothes on.  You will probably have to remove the 
>>>>> >>>> safety
>>>>> >>>> strap to finalize things, but you should be able to get legs and
>>>>> > arms
>>>>> >>>> through the pants or shirt.  If
>>>>> >>>> none of this works, tell us what you have tried that didn't work 
>>>>> >>>> and
>>>>> >>>> maybe we'll get a better sense of what to suggest.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> Best regards,
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> Steve Jacobson
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>> On Fri, 30 Apr 2010 09:11:39 -0500, Scott Lawlor wrote:
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>Hi.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>Are there any good tips you guy can provide on dressing squirmy
>>>>> > babies?
>>>>> >>>>>It
>>>>> >>>>>seems that putting the legs through the pants is the issue that I
>>>>> > find
>>>>> >>>>>so
>>>>> >>>>>annoying and frustrating at the moment.  Cindy thinks it's
>>>>> > ridiculous
>>>>> >>>>>that I
>>>>> >>>>>get so frustrated with something like this and maybe it is. 
>>>>> >>>>>After
>>>>> > all,
>>>>> >>>>>it's
>>>>> >>>>>a pretty small thing, but nevertheless, it's not fair for the 
>>>>> >>>>>baby
>>>>> > that
>>>>> >>>>>I
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >>>>>be
>>>>> >>>>>that way, even if for a short time.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>I've tried to refocus and that seems to help but I'd like to head
>>>>> > this
>>>>> >>>>>off
>>>>> >>>>>even before it becomes an issue, if that makes any sense.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>Thanks for the help if possible.
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>Scott
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>>_______________________________________________
>>>>> >>>>>blparent mailing list
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>>>>> > bson
>>>>> > %
>>>>> >> 40visi.com
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
>>>>> >>>>
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>>>>> >> m
>>>>> >>>
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>>>> Avon representative
>>>> http://www.youravon.com/mwertman
>>>>
>>>>
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