[blparent] need urgent help

Tammy, Paul and Colyn tcl189 at rogers.com
Wed May 26 18:42:38 UTC 2010 

Hi,

I sure hope things work out for this family.  If they are being 
discriminated against, then I hope the social worker and the nurse lose 
their jobs, and I feel bad for the parents for having to miss out on the 
first precious days with there little one.  Are they allowed visitation or 
anything while the child is in foster care?

Tammy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Pipi" <blahblahblah0822 at gmail.com>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, May 26, 2010 1:57 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] need urgent help


>I just wanted to write and say thank you for everyone who has given support 
>and resources. I have passed everything on to the parents and I will 
>continue to be in contact with them now and when they get their baby home 
>with them. I don't want to sound rude in my saying this, so please don't 
>take it that way at all. Since this isn't happening to me personally, I 
>don't feel it is my place to give out more information than what I have. If 
>and when the parents tell me things that I can share, I definitely will do 
>so.
> I'm not much for words or saying things correctly. While it is true we 
> don't know the full story and aren't their, I have strong beliefs that 
> this family is being discriminated against. They are good people who want 
> the chance to be great parents. I feel in my heart that they will do an 
> amazing job.
> Again, thank you everyone. Hopefully I'll be able to share good news with 
> y'all soon.
> Pipi
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, May 26, 2010 9:13 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] need urgent help
>
>
>> While it is true that we don't know the details of this entire case, it 
>> would be wrong in my experience to assume that the hospital social worker 
>> or CPS were acting
>> with reason.  There have been too many situations such as Elizabeth 
>> describes below.  Certainly there are blind persons who find themselves 
>> as parents without
>> being prepared, too, but frankly, this happens to sighted people too and 
>> the answer is not just to remove the child.  We don't have the details of 
>> where this is
>> happening, but again, I hope the person who originally wrote about this 
>> will keep in contact with these parents and find someone in her area who 
>> might be able to
>> help.  The president of the NFB affilliate in that state can probably 
>> help.
>>
>> Best regards,
>>
>> Steve Jacobson
>>
>> On Wed, 26 May 2010 01:19:12 -0600, Elizabeth Cooks wrote:
>>
>>>sommebody was wondering how I was sure this case was on the up and up. 
>>>It's
>>>becausemy husband nearly had the same thing happen to us when Angelica 
>>>was
>>>born.  I later found out that it was the OBGYN, who, by the way, had the
>>>bedside manner of a moose, that reported us.  Luckily, the CPS worker who
>>>came to see me and i knew each other and he knew what questions to ask, 
>>>and
>>>he essentially told the social worker and the hospital staff to go away 
>>>and
>>>leave me alone.  I told the hospital social worker that said person could
>>>ask any questions they ahd.  Instead, on the day i go home, said person
>>>prodeeds to tell me how to place my newborn baby when she is lying down, 
>>>as
>>>I had never been a parent before when he knew I had.  What was the 
>>>report?
>>>He didn't know if I could clean the baby proppery when she was messy, and
>>>how would I know how to support her head when holding her?  What an 
>>>idiot!
>>>Very semilar things.  I am sure that if I had gotten an uneducated
>>>overzealous worker instead of someone i knew, something semilar would 
>>>have
>>>happened.  Just as an aside, I knew this person from church and not from 
>>>any
>>>previous encounter with CPS.
>>>----- Original Message ----- 
>>>From: "sharon howerton" <shrnhow at att.net>
>>>To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>Sent: Tuesday, May 25, 2010 6:24 PM
>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] need urgent help
>>
>>
>>>>I teach our Parenting series at Hadley. There are three
>>>>courses--Preparation, Infancy and Early Years. I have had students who 
>>>>took
>>>>one or all of the courses just to be knowledgeable and to show any 
>>>>agency,
>>>>if one did get involved, that they were making an effort to educate
>>>>themselves. Our school is here for those who want or need it, and the
>>>>courses are free, but one is required to prepare and submit assignments. 
>>>>I
>>>>would welcome any questions on or off list. I've taught these courses 
>>>>for
>>>>perhaps 5 years now. I am a blind parent with two adult sighted sons.
>>>> Sharon Howerton
>>>> shrnhow at att.net
>>>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>>>> From: "Steve Jacobson" <steve.jacobson at visi.com>
>>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 25, 2010 1:35 PM
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] need urgent help
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> What probably happened is that a hospital social worker called Child
>>>>> Protection.  While this doesn't happen all the time, it happens more 
>>>>> than
>>>>> it should.  For starters,
>>>>> the couple needs to present a reasonable case to whatever social 
>>>>> worker
>>>>> they meet with.  While they certainly have rights, it is difficult to
>>>>> have to fight this out in the
>>>>> courts at this point so it is better to do what can be done to avoid
>>>>> that. It wouldn't hurt for everyone in question to know that the new
>>>>> parents feel strongly enough to
>>>>> challeng in court if necessary, though.  They need to be ready to 
>>>>> answer
>>>>> questions about how they would handle the various functions of 
>>>>> parenting,
>>>>> and if this is
>>>>> their first, it would be good for them to work with another blind 
>>>>> parent.
>>>>> In fact, asking that another blind parent be with them when they talk 
>>>>> to
>>>>> the social worker
>>>>> would be good.  The social worker may not even be aware that there are
>>>>> blind parents who raise sighted kids.
>>>>>
>>>>> On the other hand, if the parents are having their first child and 
>>>>> have
>>>>> not given much thought to various aspects of parenting, they need to 
>>>>> get
>>>>> answers and figure
>>>>> things out in a hurry.  Whether it is right or wrong, new parents who
>>>>> appear not to know what they are getting into will have more problems
>>>>> than those who can say
>>>>> they know how to change a diaper, feed a child, detect diaper rash, 
>>>>> check
>>>>> the baby's temperature and so on.  The social worker is going to close
>>>>> his or her eyes
>>>>> and think about what he or she could do as a parent and we know this 
>>>>> is a
>>>>> poor way to draw conclusions, but it isw how some form their opinions.
>>>>>
>>>>> This kind of thing can be very serious, so do what you can to help 
>>>>> them
>>>>> out or get them in contact with others who can help.
>>>>>
>>>>> Best regards,
>>>>>
>>>>> Steve Jacobson
>>>>>
>>>>> On Tue, 25 May 2010 11:31:01 -0500, Robert Shelton wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>>Is it remotely possible that the other members of the family have an
>>>>>>agenda?
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>"A strong nation, like a strong person, can afford to be gentle, firm,
>>>>>>thoughtful, and restrained. It can afford to extend a helping hand to
>>>>>>others. It is a weak nation, like a weak person, that must behave with
>>>>>>bluster and boasting and rashness and other signs of insecurity."
>>>>>>--Jimmy Carter
>>>>>
>>>>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>>>>From: Tammy, Paul and Colyn [mailto:tcl189 at rogers.com]
>>>>>>Sent: Monday, May 24, 2010 7:14 PM
>>>>>>To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] need urgent help
>>>>>
>>>>>>Hi,
>>>>>
>>>>>>And, cps should not be talking to these parent's family about 
>>>>>>anything,
>>>>>>it's
>>>>>
>>>>>>a breach of confidence especially when apparently the family is being
>>>>>>told
>>>>>>different things by cps.
>>>>>
>>>>>>Tammy
>>>>>>----- Original Message ----- 
>>>>>>From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
>>>>>>To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>Sent: Monday, May 24, 2010 3:51 PM
>>>>>>Subject: Re: [blparent] need urgent help
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>>I may be wrong but I don't think CPS normally works to take children
>>>>>>>away
>>>>>>>if there is no history.  In other words, they usually are reactive 
>>>>>>>not
>>>>>>>proactive.  If they're being pro-active, it probably is--as someone
>>>>>>>said--an overzealous worker.  If the family and the blind child do 
>>>>>>>not
>>>>>>>get
>>>>>>>along, the family may be part of this problem, too.
>>>>>>> But whatever the circumstances, the parents have not proved 
>>>>>>> themselves
>>>>>>> unfit parents so CPS has no right to remove the baby.
>>>>>>> Many sighted parents have been lousy parents and kept their kids, 
>>>>>>> these
>>>>>>> people are just acting on their fears.  If they can't talk 
>>>>>>> rationally
>>>>>>> with
>>>>>
>>>>>>> the social worker, maybe another blind person who knows them could 
>>>>>>> be
>>>>>>> at
>>>>>>> an arranged meeting.  The contacts that have been given in other
>>>>>>> messages
>>>>>>> should definitely be used.  Fear motivates people to do irrational
>>>>>>> things.
>>>>>>> Barbara
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> ...
>>>>>>> Yesterday is
>>>>>>> A path well-trod,
>>>>>>> A familiar lane
>>>>>>> Through sacred sod,
>>>>>>> A road we travel
>>>>>>> Too often, I fear,
>>>>>>> For there are the good times
>>>>>>> When things are hard here,
>>>>>>> ...
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>> From: "Pipi" <blahblahblah0822 at gmail.com>
>>>>>>> Sent: Monday, May 24, 2010 1:30 PM
>>>>>>> To: <blindparenting at googlegroups.com>; <blv-moms at googlegroups.com>;
>>>>>>> <singleblindparents at googlegroups.com>; "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing
>>>>>>> List"
>>>>>
>>>>>>> <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>>> Subject: [blparent] need urgent help
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Hey y'all,
>>>>>>>> I have a friend who very recently gave birth. Her and her partner 
>>>>>>>> are
>>>>>>>> both blind. They are having problems with cps. I don't want to go 
>>>>>>>> into
>>>>>>>> all of the details, but she is being told one thing by the social
>>>>>>>> worker
>>>>>>>> and the social worker is telling her family other things. They are
>>>>>>>> saying
>>>>>
>>>>>>>> that unless they have 24/7 help, their child will be released into
>>>>>>>> protective custody. Do they have this right? What rights do the
>>>>>>>> parents
>>>>>>>> have? They are first time parents and not sure what to do. They 
>>>>>>>> just
>>>>>>>> want
>>>>>
>>>>>>>> their baby home with them.
>>>>>>>> Any help will be greatly appreciated.
>>>>>>>> pipi
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>> blparent mailing list
>>>>>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>>>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
>>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>>> blparent:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/poetlori8%40msn.co
>>>>>>m
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>>> for
>>>>>>> blparent:
>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>m
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>_______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> blparent mailing list
>>>>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>>>>> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>>>>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>>>>> blparent:
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>>>>
>>>>
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>>
>>
>>>_______________________________________________
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>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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>
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