[blparent] Anxious

[Robert Shelton]

Nikki's is an excellent post, and far more representative of the experience
you are likely to have than what you've seen on the list over the last
several days.  Yes, there have been, and in some cases still are issues, but
the vast majority of blind parents raise children with the same joys and
problems of parenthood as the light-dependent world.  Be prepared, but don't
assume that every question or comment is a threat or challenge.  Above all,
remember that the hard parts of parenting have nothing to do with blindness.
You and Greg build your relationship, and when you are ready for parenthood,
trust that it will be OK.


"A strong nation, like a strong person, can afford to be gentle, firm,
thoughtful, and restrained. It can afford to extend a helping hand to
others. It is a weak nation, like a weak person, that must behave with
bluster and boasting and rashness and other signs of insecurity."
--Jimmy Carter


-----Original Message-----
From: Nikki Fugett-Dobens [mailto:nfugett at cinci.rr.com] 
Sent: Friday, May 28, 2010 11:46 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Anxious

Stacey,
Hi.  My husband and I are both completely blind, and we have a 22 month old 
daughter.  We didn't run in to problems like these at the hospital, or 
throughout my prenatal care appointments.  One time, a nurse asked me if I 
would have help when I first got home right before I had Mackenzie, and I 
told her that I would have someone who was visually impaired to kind of show

me the ropes.  I hadn't had much experience with babies, so I was nervous. 
I explained that the reason someone who was blind was helping me was because

I wouldn't do everything like someone who was sited would.  They seemed to 
understand this, and every nurse seemed to think we were somehow amazing, 
and we felt very comfortable during our stay.
I have to admit, people sometimes seemed surprised, when I tell them we 
raise our daughter and we're without vision, but she's always been helpful 
and always a little advanced for her age.
I was anxious about this as well, but I had faith that people would be fair,

and not jump to conclusions.  When I'm out with my daughter, people might 
ask annoying questions, or want to help, but I try to just remain calm and 
polite, which is somewhat hard.
I understand why this situation would make you nervous, but not everywhere 
is like that.
Hope this helps!
Nikki
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cervenka, Stacy (Brownback)" <Stacy_Cervenka at brownback.senate.gov>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, May 28, 2010 12:12 PM
Subject: [blparent] Anxious


> Hi, everyone,
> I'm fairly new to this listserv. I'm not currently a blind parent, but my 
> boyfriend and I are both blind and we're beginning to move toward marriage

> and a family, so I've been lurking on this list, hoping to learn a little 
> about what Greg and I will be in for in the future as blind parents.
> Anyway, I've been reading the posts the last few days about all the issues

> blind couples run into when giving birth, especially when both parents are

> blind, and honestly, it's got me really discouraged and anxious. Does 
> every blind couple run into these sorts of problems at the hospital? Is 
> there anything we can do to be proactive and prevent this sort of thing 
> from happening to us? Is it better to give birth at home with a midwife or

> in a birthing center, where you can get to know the staff beforehand? I 
> know that having kids is a few years away for me, but this has me worried 
> sick. My number one goal in life has always been to be a mom and I can't 
> imagine having the state stand in my way.
> FYI, I've emailed info about this couple's case to Gary Wunder and a few 
> others, so hopefully somebody will be in contact with the couple soon, if 
> they haven't been already.
>
> Stacy Leigh Cervenka
> Legislative Assistant
> Office of Senator Sam Brownback (KS)
> 303 Hart Senate Office Building
> Phone: (202) 224-6521
> Email: stacy_cervenka at brownback.senate.gov
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