[blparent] What's your opinion of Spanking

[Shannan Zinck]

When deciding to adopt this was one question we really struggled with as a
couple. We finally concluded that spanking may be necessary in some
circumstances. We first of all believe it should be a last resort. We also
believe it's necessary when we know for sure our son is being defiant. Not
your typical development stuff like the throwing a fit stage which my son is
going through right now. We ignore those but, the times when he goes to do
something and gives you that look and says no, no, no and does it anyway.
Really annoying. I have a real problem with over spanking. I read a very
disturbing survey online once where you rated how long or much you should
spank your child and 66% of voters said ("Until you draw blood") in my
opinion that's abuse. just my opinion don't shoot. Anyway that really
bothered me. I sometimes wonder if spanking isn't the real issue here but,
people's perception of it. Spanking is meant to teach and correct not
frighten or dictate. Time out's are my preferred form of correction and One
thing we agreed on was never to embarrass our son by disciplining him in
public. At the age he is now taking him away from the situation he is
causing trouble in or a time out in a corner away from the others is what we
tend toward and when he is old enough if the trouble caused warrants it we
will deal with it when we get home. Sometimes giving a kid time enough to
think about punishment is punishment enough. So we do believe in spanking
but, last resort and only when it's in willful disobedience. I was a wild
child and really should have been spanked more often so I'm coming from the
undisciplined side of things and let me tell you that's not pretty either. I
do agree that there is a fine line with spanking and if you're the type to
do it in anger and frustration then maybe it's better not to and find
another calmer way to deal with things. I also agree that every child is
different. I know one kid that if his parents spanked him he'd laugh but,
man you give him a time out and he thought his world was ending. It's also a
delicate issue with many social workers, our adoption worker had a real hard
time with it and tried to convince us it was a bad idea but, it's legal and
there was nothing she could say about it. And besides it's a biblical form
of correction and we are Christians. I know that comment can be abused as
well but, I assure you though we are Christians we are not spanking maniacs.
I sort of know some "Christians" that are and it upsets me greatly. Also I
have read the Child protection regulations and sadly believe it or not in
Canada they are pretty broad on what is abuse. For instance the way it's
written leads people to believe unless a child ends up with broken bones or
seriously injured it's not technically abuse. i would think that drawing
blood or major bruising would be abuse as well. Sorry for rambling guys this
issue is pretty fresh right now. My husband's nephew age 5 is in a bad
situation right now and we have no real proof he is being abused and yet he
seems like he might be. It's a real mess and we feel powerless to do
anything right now. We just don't have enough to go on to report anything
according the the regulations but, we feel so bad for him. I'll shut up now.
Personally I respect those who don't believe in spanking but, also respect
those who do. Every child is different and every family is different no one
opinion is right or wrong it's just what it is. Wow that was a lot to say a
little Really sorry guys.
-- 
Shannan Zinck
Survival is letting GOD take over!!!