[blparent] What's your opinion of Spanking

[Jo Elizabeth Pinto]

Drawing blood, my God!  I can't believe anybody wouldn't think that was 
abuse.  I got knocked around a lot as a kid, and I know that when spanking 
is overused, or overly brutal, it loses its deterrent powers.  I had the 
attitude as a child that I was going to get in trouble anyway, and probably 
get hit or shoved up against a wall or kicked, or worse, so I might as well 
do what I wanted and pay the price later.  I want Sarah to know right from 
wrong, and learn to make good choices, but I don't want her to be afraid of 
me or resentful of me the way I was of my mom.  Like Robert said, think it 
through before you act.  That makes sense to me.

Jo Elizabeth

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Shannan Zinck" <shannanzinck at gmail.com>
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 10:02 PM
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] What's your opinion of Spanking

> When deciding to adopt this was one question we really struggled with as a
> couple. We finally concluded that spanking may be necessary in some
> circumstances. We first of all believe it should be a last resort. We also
> believe it's necessary when we know for sure our son is being defiant. Not
> your typical development stuff like the throwing a fit stage which my son 
> is
> going through right now. We ignore those but, the times when he goes to do
> something and gives you that look and says no, no, no and does it anyway.
> Really annoying. I have a real problem with over spanking. I read a very
> disturbing survey online once where you rated how long or much you should
> spank your child and 66% of voters said ("Until you draw blood") in my
> opinion that's abuse. just my opinion don't shoot. Anyway that really
> bothered me. I sometimes wonder if spanking isn't the real issue here but,
> people's perception of it. Spanking is meant to teach and correct not
> frighten or dictate. Time out's are my preferred form of correction and 
> One
> thing we agreed on was never to embarrass our son by disciplining him in
> public. At the age he is now taking him away from the situation he is
> causing trouble in or a time out in a corner away from the others is what 
> we
> tend toward and when he is old enough if the trouble caused warrants it we
> will deal with it when we get home. Sometimes giving a kid time enough to
> think about punishment is punishment enough. So we do believe in spanking
> but, last resort and only when it's in willful disobedience. I was a wild
> child and really should have been spanked more often so I'm coming from 
> the
> undisciplined side of things and let me tell you that's not pretty either. 
> I
> do agree that there is a fine line with spanking and if you're the type to
> do it in anger and frustration then maybe it's better not to and find
> another calmer way to deal with things. I also agree that every child is
> different. I know one kid that if his parents spanked him he'd laugh but,
> man you give him a time out and he thought his world was ending. It's also 
> a
> delicate issue with many social workers, our adoption worker had a real 
> hard
> time with it and tried to convince us it was a bad idea but, it's legal 
> and
> there was nothing she could say about it. And besides it's a biblical form
> of correction and we are Christians. I know that comment can be abused as
> well but, I assure you though we are Christians we are not spanking 
> maniacs.
> I sort of know some "Christians" that are and it upsets me greatly. Also I
> have read the Child protection regulations and sadly believe it or not in
> Canada they are pretty broad on what is abuse. For instance the way it's
> written leads people to believe unless a child ends up with broken bones 
> or
> seriously injured it's not technically abuse. i would think that drawing
> blood or major bruising would be abuse as well. Sorry for rambling guys 
> this
> issue is pretty fresh right now. My husband's nephew age 5 is in a bad
> situation right now and we have no real proof he is being abused and yet 
> he
> seems like he might be. It's a real mess and we feel powerless to do
> anything right now. We just don't have enough to go on to report anything
> according the the regulations but, we feel so bad for him. I'll shut up 
> now.
> Personally I respect those who don't believe in spanking but, also respect
> those who do. Every child is different and every family is different no 
> one
> opinion is right or wrong it's just what it is. Wow that was a lot to say 
> a
> little Really sorry guys.
> -- 
> Shannan Zinck
> Survival is letting GOD take over!!!
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