[blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

Tue Nov 16 18:44:08 UTC 2010

My friend's little boy, 3, got so mad at us because he wanted to put the
groceries on the counter at the store.  He started crying and screaming, so
his mom put him into the seat of the cart, tightened the seat belt and she
continued putting the groceries on.  When we got to the car, he was still
crying and carrying on, so she put him in his carseat and she put the stuff
in the car.  He screamed the louder, but mom just did what had to be done.
I wanted to give him something to calm him, but didn't dare, mom had spoken
and that was that. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Brandy W
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2010 1:52 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

O boy you couldn't be more right. While we can't pack up and leave we can
leave the activity but not allowing the child to participate. I nice had a
child with me at a play date and he was not behaving one bit. After a
warning he was then told if I have to remind you to do something you know to
do or remind you not to do something again you know is not ok we will sit
outside and do nothing till our ride gets here. The behavior did not stop
and you better believe that although it was 95 degrees I took him outside
and in the shade we had water, and we sat for the hour left of the activity
doing nothing, and I mean nothing. The only thing he could discuss is his
choices and why we left early. In the future all I ever had to say was do we
need to go wait for our ride early, and he would fix his behavior fast. I'm
a firm believer that time out is not a place, but rather an activity that
occurs and that can occur anywhere. When my niece was little we could be in
the grocery store and she would be riding in the cart and not behaving. All
I would have to say is no talking you re in time out, and she was so upset.
Just a few minutes later I could say are you ready to make good choices and
be out of time out and she would say yes, and it would be done. I could keep
shopping, but just the fact I would not  interact with her for that few
minutes and being told she was in time out worked for her. I've also been
known to remove privileges for when we get home, or the treat at the party.
Yes people are watching, and it is important we don't get worked up and stay
Calm and matter of fact with our kids will get us much further. I've also
told a child you are not behaving because you are running around and being
loud and you know this is not ok. If it doesn't stop there will need to be
consequences when we get home. I choose my tool by the situation and age of
the child.

Bran

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you
learn, the more places you'll go." -- Dr. Seuss
Brandy Wojcik
Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team Leader
www.playtoachieve.com
Phone: 512) 689-5045
Ask me about:
*How you can do what I do and earn money sharing educational toys with the
ones you love,
*How to earn free Discovery Toys products while having fun with friends,
Order a gift basket for any age

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Deborah Kent Stein
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 10:50 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

I think as blind parents we sometimes feel particularly vulnerable when our
kids act out in a public situation, since we're always aware that we're
being observed and that our parenting abilities are being questioned.  I am
wondering what methods others have found helpful when a child gets out of
hand at a picnic, school event, wedding reception, etc.  For instance, if
the blind parent got a ride with someone else, then packing up and leaving
may not be an option.

Debbie

Debbie

----- Original Message -----
From: "Robert Shelton" <rshelton1 at gmail.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 10:09 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking

> OK, a good serious question.  I was spanked as a child, and I also used
> spanking with my first two boys.  I'm fine -- they're fine.  On the other
> hand, I realized that spanking rarely, if ever, did anything other than
> make
> me feel like I'd made a mistake.  As we raised numbers 3 and 4, two more
> boys, we gradually found that other measures were equally effective and
> didn't leave us feeling like we'd done the wrong thing.  I'd love to tell
> you that there's a secret formula for knowing the right way to correct a
> child in every situation, but that's simply not true, or if it is, I don't
> know the formula.  I would suggest a couple of things to keep in mind.
> 1.  Think.  Use your thinking brain to figure out how to address the
> situation.  This might mean that you'll need to stop what you're doing and
> give a few seconds of thought to figure out the appropriate response.
> Think, don't just react.
> 2.  When it's a social situation, and your kid is being a pest to you, or
> someone in your home, consider restraint.  Not restraining yourself,
> although that is something to consider, but restraining your kid.  Just a
> gentle grasp of a wrist to keep them under control.  Establishing control
> is
> extremely important.  Note, kids really dislike being controlled.  That's
> natural -- live with it.
> 3.  Try to slow down.  You think better when you can give yourself a time
> out in order to figure out what to do.  Get things in a safe
> configuration,
> and then consider your options.  Sometimes taking those few minutes, as
> opposed to a knee-jerk reaction, can also encourage your child to consider
> the consequences of his/her actions.
>
> OK, I've posted about a month's worth for me.  Everyone have a great week.
>
> Over and out.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: jill [mailto:jillbilly4 at comcast.net]
> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 3:32 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Opinion of spanking
>
> I am not offended at all.  I use spanking and  time out with my 5 year old
> and with my 13 year old taking away privileges.  I was spanked as a child,
> and lived to be a respectable adult.  I don't think that one of form of
> punishment works for all children or all situations.  I think that people
> can over exaggerate the affects either way "to spank or not to spank"
>
> Jill
> -----Original Message-----
>
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Peggy Shald
> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 3:07 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking
>
> I have spanked my kids occasionally.  When they're about to touch
> something
> hot I slap their hands and say no.  When they run off and won't come back
> when I call.  I guess, yeah it's always been for safety reasons.  I was
> spanked as a cchild and am not sccared of my mom, don't hate her, have a
> lot
>
> of respect for her as a matter of fact.  Do I think that a child should be
> spanked for everything, no!  Do I think there are times when they should
> yes!!  Now that I've probably offended everyone on the list, I'm done
> writing for now.
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Elizabeth Cooks
> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 1:52 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking
>
> Only in safety situations.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Gabe Vega" <theblindtech at gmail.com>
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Sunday, November 14, 2010 8:17 AM
> Subject: Re: [blparent] What's your Oppinion of spanking
>
>
>>I have 1 questions, whats up with all the dot dot dots when they
>> aren't even proper in the type of sentences you are writing. the ...
>> is for when a sentence is continued not on the same line or when there
>> isn't enough room to fit all chars or words in the orginal location of
>> the beginning of the writing. hmmmmm, it must be this new internet
>> writing.
>>
>> On 11/14/10, Rhonda Kubehl <rhondakubehl at gmail.com> wrote:
>>> This was a debate going on on facebook, and i am wonderng what everyone
>>> else things.
>>> We don't believe in soanking in our house, I don't believe it solvs
>>> anything, it in my oppinion teaches a child if i don't like what a
>>> person is doing... i hit them.
>>> although, my sster spanked my nece, t didnt make her any different, it
>>> worked for her.
>>>
>>> spanking don't work for me,  guess  beleve in reason...
>>> Or I ask Is it necessary?... Corban says No...
>>> I'm just intrested in hearing others belieths in spanking.
>>>
>>> --
>>> *Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady
>>> purpose--
>>> a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye*
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/theblindtech%40gma
> il.com
>>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> Gabe Vega A+, Net+, ATACP
>> The Tech of all Techs
>> http://thebt.net
>> (623) 565-9357
>>
>> _______________________________________________
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