[blparent] First Questions About Blindness

[ldavis5000 at sbcglobal.net]

Thank you for your explanation on your daughter's questions.  I am a mentor 
to a young woamn who is blind with a sighted 18 month old boy.  This info 
will come in handy.  I have printed your email to share with my friend.

Kathy
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at pcdesk.net>
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2010 10:38 PM
Subject: [blparent] First Questions About Blindness


> Hi.  I was wondering if some of you parents who have older children could 
> recall and share how the issue of your blindness came up with your kids, 
> and how you explained your disability to them simply enough so they could 
> understand.
>
> A few weeks ago, something came up that I can't really remember, but for 
> some reason I told Sarah, who is now two and a half, that my eyes didn't 
> work.  I said they were broken, which is a concept she usually 
> understands.  She said to me very seriously, "Mommy, they're not open." 
> So I told her my eyes didn't work even when they were open.  She said in a 
> very matter-of-fact way, "Just open them."
>
> Toddlers move on pretty easily, so the subject was quickly dropped.  I 
> started noticing that Sarah would say, "By your left, by your left" when I 
> was searching for something, although she didn't know what "left" meant. 
> She'd just heard other people saying it.  Sometimes she would stay "step" 
> when we came to a curb, and although I wouldn't rely on her directions as 
> consistent or trustworthy, I've thanked her for telling me just because it 
> seems to me like a considerate thing to do.
>
> One day last week, we were going to a restaurant, and she asked me if I 
> would be taking my eyes with me.  I said yes, and she asked if she could 
> take her eyes, too.  I said yes, she could, and she promptly poked herself 
> in the eye, seeming like she was trying to get her eyeball in her hand. 
> So I told her that we all have eyes which are part of our bodies, and that 
> they didn't come off.
>
> The thing that has started getting me kind of concerned is that Sarah and 
> I will be playing with a toy or doing something, and she'll start saying, 
> "Mommy, open your eyes.  Don't close your eyes."  I have no voluntary 
> control over whether my eyes are open or closed.  Or she'll say, "I have 
> to close my eyes like Mommy."  Then tonight, I was sitting on the floor 
> and she stood in front of me, pinched one of my cheeks with each of her 
> hands, and said, "Mommy, don't do that with your face."  Something was 
> obviously bothering her because she continued to say the same thing.  I 
> asked her what she meant, and she said, "The pancake face.  I don't wanna 
> see the pancake."  (God knows where she got that.)
>
> Anyway, I didn't know what to say.  One of the concerns my sister brought 
> up when I first got pregnant was that my facial expressions don't always 
> fit naturally with the situation that is going on, and that my baby would 
> pick up on that.  My sister tends to be kind of superficial and focused on 
> appearance, and it surely isn't that big of a deal, but I'm wondering what 
> you all told your kids, or how the issues resolved themselves.  Please 
> forgive the long post, but I felt I should explain the progression of 
> things.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
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