[blparent] school teacher - not an issue

Wed Aug 24 12:49:28 UTC 2011

Dads are like that. 
And while you live in his house, he does have control. 
If you lived alone, you'd have to buy things like food and toilet paper. Your dad buys that stuff now and it's not as if he's going to make a hamburger for himself and not one for his child and grandchild. Ditto for toilet paper, he's not going to say "This is mine, you're on youro wn". 

Living with people has all kinds of complexities.

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 10:21 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

    Yes!
I appreciate all the boosts of confidence, thank you.
I will definitely be taking control, putting my foot down.
And Yes, my mom steps in and does things for me, but she's different about 
it each time.

Some days she'll ask and other days she won't realize what she did until 
after it's done, then she apologizes.
But since I don't see her much, she can't really do anything for me.
Besides, she wants me to be independent.
It's my dad that has a hard time letting go.

-----Original Message----- 
From: Erin Rumer
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 5:31 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

Yes Nikky, tell your dad, "Haven't you heard the saying don't cry over spilt 
milk?" SMILING!

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Veronica Smith
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 3:28 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

Nikki, I have faith in you and if I were you, I would say, "even sighted 
peeps make messes."  Next time, say no thank you to the glass and reach over 
and take control.  If you always let him, he will always be the same. 
Remember though, I am not perfect nor do I claim to be.  I know how parents 
are, my mom and dad tried to do it all for me, but I finally started just 
doing it and they finally saw that  I could.
How abut your mom, does she try to do it all for you as well?  Like I said, 
Nikki, you can take control.  Tell dad thanks, but no thanks and if you do 
spill the milk, you and only you should be the one to clean up after 
yourself. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 4:00 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

            Hi Debbie.
I feel as though I shouldn't have to prove my capabilities to my parents.
It is MY son, isn't it?
I shouldn't feel like I'm being controlled just because I live in their 
house, you know?

Rebecca.
I have a laptop and my parents respect my privacy, so no worries there.
If anything were to come up, you can be certain I'll make sure they hear 
about it.
I am the youngest of 2. My older brother lives with his family.
As far as friends, I have a couple, but not going to talk to them about my 
feelings.

V, my son constantly reminds me and my parents that I'm the boss.
So, if he wants something and asks my mom, she tells him, "go ask your mom."
I'm the one in charge.

As far as my dad doing everything, I'm ashamed and embarrassed.
I get frustrated when we're both in the kitchen, I get the milk and a glass.
In the midst of what he's doing, stops and takes these items from me and 
pours the glass for me.
Now, I'm able to do this myself and today, I told him, "what are you doing?
I can do this myself."
IDK what exactly he said, but I think he said,"I know." I asked him, "then 
why aren't you letting me do it myself?
His response told me he has little or no confidence in me. He said, "I  just 
washed the counter. I don't want to clean it again."
Do you know what that does to someone's self esteem?

So, it's not so much me letting him do everything. His stress he has, is 
brought on by himself.
I may need to fix some things with myself, but God and I are working on it.

-----Original Message----- 
From: Deborah Kent Stein
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 12:12 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

Dear Nikki,

Great news!  The more you take control, the more your folks are likely to
see how capable you are.

Debbie

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at comcast.net>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 10:03 AM
Subject: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

> Just an update...
>
>        Hi all.
> I want to thank you all for the confidence boost.
> My dad, son, and I went to meet the teacher yesterday.
> I asked her if she could email me the handouts and I was very pleased to
> find out that she would be happy to do it for me.
> But my dad still requested the paper handouts for himself.
> IDK why, but it was rather upsetting that he feels he has to be involved.
>
> Anyway, success!
> Oh and I’m going to pick my son up from school, give my dad a break, lol.
>
> It’s confusing to me that my parents complain, mainly my dad, about having
> to do everything, but when I take a stand, it back fires.
> Meaning, it’s hard for him to accept me being independent.
>
> Nikki
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/dkent5817%40att.net
>

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40comcast.net

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
blparent:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/madison_tewe%40spinn.net

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
blparent:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/erinrumer%40gmail.com

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
blparent:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/daizies304%40comcast.net 

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for blparent:
http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/rebecca.pickrell%40tasc.com