[blparent] school teacher - not an issue

[Nikki]

    My dad knows I want to get out of here, so, I have nothing to hide.
My parents want me out as well.
My dad isn't computer literate.

As far as talking to my brother.
Well, to me, that's a death trap.
Leads to family gossip and I don't like everyone knowing my business.
My brother, yes, I can talk to him, but not about this.

I have two ladies at my church that I trust.
I talk with them.

-----Original Message----- 
From: Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 9:30 AM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

Nicky,
Have you stated this to him calmly? When you do x, I feel y?"
What has he said about that?

As for the milk, he may have been in a zone, I'm cleaning up the kitchen so 
therefore I own the kitchen at least right now. We all do this. I'd let the 
milk go and focus on the bigger issue which seems to be that he talks about 
you like you don't exist. I'd tell him how this makes you feel and see what 
he says.
Going back to earlier messages, the list is public so your dad could google 
your name and see your post re needing to get out of there. Not good. I'd 
treat him as you want him to treat you, starting by owning that post and 
appologizing to him.
Second, if you can't talk to your friends about yourfeelings, you need some 
new friends.
Lastly, your brother may be just the person you *can* talk to.
My sister and her husband live with my folks. I understand it's difficult at 
times for all involved. The beauty in talking with each other is that nobody 
knows your parents like a sibling. You can say things that you can't say to 
anybody else and have your sibling understand it. Just because your brother 
is busy with his family doesn't mean he doesn't have time for you. And, I'd 
say that your dad is helping him too re picking up the cousins.  So you two 
have that in common. Take it and bond over it.


-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 10:21 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

    It's a question of him letting me.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just there.

Like this morning. Walking home from dropping the kid off at school.
My son's friend's mom was walking with my dad and I. My dad talking about
how he might need help on MWF's to get the boy from school because he has to
pick up the cousin's from their school and then drive back here to pick up
my son.
They were talking about a way for her to be there for my son in case he's
late or something.
I had already said that I was going to pick him up.

I just don't think he has enough confidence in me to walk up to the school
and get my son.
I guess it's going to take me doing the task to get him used to it.
But my point is my dad was talking to her like I don't exist or it's his
responsibility.
Or like my son is his kid. Ugh!
-----Original Message----- 
From: Sheila Leigland
Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 8:55 AM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

Hi nikki it is difficult to control corcumstances when you live at home with
parents. I know in my situation a long time ago now i felt like I really
didn't have the right to speak up. It was their house not mine in the same
way. There was so much that I didn't know about blindness skills. Parents
don't intend to be mean or controling. They believe they are being helpful.
I wanted to grow up and felt that I had the right to do so but didn't know
how to proceed. My vr counselor at the time talked to me about getting an
apartment and I was so hesetant to talk to my parents about it that an
apartment was found before I discussed it and my parents found out. They
were verry upset and hurt. It wasn't my intention to hurt them but that
happened at least in part because I didn't have enough confidence in myself
to take the necessary stands. Then I found out that they didn't feel I was
capable of independence and I became hurt and angry. There was plenty of
blame to go around. I'm totally blind and I couldn't watch my parents do
things and learn that way. I needed hands on instruction. I got my apartment
and worked for around six weeks with a rehab teacher and it helped alot.
Your dad will come around when he sees that you can do the things that you
need to do.

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