[blparent] school teacher - not an issue

Wed Aug 24 15:48:48 UTC 2011

It is important to remember that the messages from this list are publically 
archived.  I live in a fairly small city, and someone was concerned over a 
post I wrote to you all--not sure how that person found it, maybe 
Google--and that post was sent to my mom.  She followed the links and read a 
lot of things that, while I would defend them as the truth, I might not have 
chosen to tell her.  Sometimes we forget how public the Internet really is.

Jo Elizabeth

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning, 
unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into 
advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 8:30 AM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue

> Nicky,
> Have you stated this to him calmly? When you do x, I feel y?"
> What has he said about that?
>
> As for the milk, he may have been in a zone, I'm cleaning up the kitchen 
> so therefore I own the kitchen at least right now. We all do this. I'd let 
> the milk go and focus on the bigger issue which seems to be that he talks 
> about you like you don't exist. I'd tell him how this makes you feel and 
> see what he says.
> Going back to earlier messages, the list is public so your dad could 
> google your name and see your post re needing to get out of there. Not 
> good. I'd treat him as you want him to treat you, starting by owning that 
> post and appologizing to him.
> Second, if you can't talk to your friends about yourfeelings, you need 
> some new friends.
> Lastly, your brother may be just the person you *can* talk to.
> My sister and her husband live with my folks. I understand it's difficult 
> at times for all involved. The beauty in talking with each other is that 
> nobody knows your parents like a sibling. You can say things that you 
> can't say to anybody else and have your sibling understand it. Just 
> because your brother is busy with his family doesn't mean he doesn't have 
> time for you. And, I'd say that your dad is helping him too re picking up 
> the cousins.  So you two have that in common. Take it and bond over it.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Nikki
> Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 10:21 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>
>    It's a question of him letting me.
> Sometimes I feel like I'm just there.
>
> Like this morning. Walking home from dropping the kid off at school.
> My son's friend's mom was walking with my dad and I. My dad talking about
> how he might need help on MWF's to get the boy from school because he has 
> to
> pick up the cousin's from their school and then drive back here to pick up
> my son.
> They were talking about a way for her to be there for my son in case he's
> late or something.
> I had already said that I was going to pick him up.
>
> I just don't think he has enough confidence in me to walk up to the school
> and get my son.
> I guess it's going to take me doing the task to get him used to it.
> But my point is my dad was talking to her like I don't exist or it's his
> responsibility.
> Or like my son is his kid. Ugh!
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Sheila Leigland
> Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 8:55 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] school teacher - not an issue
>
> Hi nikki it is difficult to control corcumstances when you live at home 
> with
> parents. I know in my situation a long time ago now i felt like I really
> didn't have the right to speak up. It was their house not mine in the same
> way. There was so much that I didn't know about blindness skills. Parents
> don't intend to be mean or controling. They believe they are being 
> helpful.
> I wanted to grow up and felt that I had the right to do so but didn't know
> how to proceed. My vr counselor at the time talked to me about getting an
> apartment and I was so hesetant to talk to my parents about it that an
> apartment was found before I discussed it and my parents found out. They
> were verry upset and hurt. It wasn't my intention to hurt them but that
> happened at least in part because I didn't have enough confidence in 
> myself
> to take the necessary stands. Then I found out that they didn't feel I was
> capable of independence and I became hurt and angry. There was plenty of
> blame to go around. I'm totally blind and I couldn't watch my parents do
> things and learn that way. I needed hands on instruction. I got my 
> apartment
> and worked for around six weeks with a rehab teacher and it helped alot.
> Your dad will come around when he sees that you can do the things that you
> need to do.
>
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